Monthly recap : August 2021

I tried my level best to focus on recovery and to get back on track this month, Quiet happy with my progress.

Mental health

• Meditated for 26/31 days.
• Journaled/documented my day for 0/31 days
• Practiced gratitude journaling for 0/31 days.

Personal Growth

This section is for a new skill or talent that I’ve acquired in this month, tried a new activity or thing that has pushed me out of my comfort zone.

• I got a promotion in office to a new designation. I also gave 1 very exciting job interview this month that helped push me out of my comfort zone. I tried new things at work and rejoined office after my covid quarantine in a renewed manner. My main focus is on developing a growth mindset in life. This mindset gives me confidence to confront challenges and work consistently harder to become the best version of myself.

Workouts

• Zero outdoor/indoor runs
• Worked out for 20/31 days

Education

• Zero progress with CFA level 1 curriculum. Exam has been deferred to February 15 2022. I’ve ordered books for the new curriculum and I’m all set to give my best for this exam.
• Zero online courses completed in August.

Entertainment

• Completed reading 3 books (my highest record till date) and halfway through 4th book. The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod, Mindset by Carol Dweck and Atomic Habits by James Clear. It’s safe to say that these 3 books have helped me transform my life in more ways than one. They have redirected the course of my life and made me change my thought patterns. I would especially like to give biggest credit to the book “Mindset”. I try to take all decisions in my life based on the philosophies shared in this book. It has made me confident to face challenges head on and not be afraid of making mistakes in life.
• Halfway through Scam 1992 which is a web series based on the Indian stock and money market scam in 1992. I not only found it extremely entertaining but it is knowledgeable as well.

It’s been 3 years that I’ve felt stuck in my professional life but haven’t particularly made any efforts to try new things at work. I’ve always blamed my external environment for everything that was wrong with my career. It came as a huge shock to me when it finally dawned to me that I possessed all the aspects of a “fixed mindset” at work. I was scared of challenges, tend to believe that skill/talent is a limited resource and didn’t trust myself to do better than this. The book “MINDSET” by Carol Dweck opened up my mind to new possibilities and I’m excited to try each one of them.

To new beginnings and growth mindset!

Monthly recap : July 2021

I don’t have much to share in this month’s recap as well. My mom was diagnosed with covid on 13th July and subsequently on 17th July, the rest of the family (including me) tested positive. I didn’t feel like doing any of the self care activities during this time. However, in the hindsight, I truly believe that spending some time on self care each day could have helped me cope up with this demanding phase of life in a much better manner. Lesson learnt.

Mental health

• Meditated for 1/31 days.
• Journaled/documented my day for 0 days.
• Practiced gratitude journaling for 0 days.

Personal Growth

This section is for a new skill or talent that I’ve acquired in this month, tried a new activity or thing that has pushed me out of my comfort zone.

• I handled the household responsibilities and took care of my mom as she was diagnosed with covid a week before us. Although it isn’t a talent or a skill to be talked about, I’m glad I was able to pull through this mentally exhausting phase.

Workouts

• Zero outdoor/indoor runs
• Worked out for 4/31 days

Education

• Zero progress with CFA level 1 curriculum. Exam has been deferred to March 2022.
• Zero online courses completed in July

Entertainment

• Completed reading 1 book – Mint your money by Pranjal Kamra. It’s an amazing read especially for the ones who want to understand the basics and begin their financial planning journey. (More than halfway through 2 books.)
• I watched the season 2 of Never Have I Ever and absolutely loved it. It distracted me from all that was going on at home when we were recovering from covid. A must watch!
• Also breezed through Mimi on Netflix. Pretty mediocre, can be skipped.

Ending on a positive note and hoping that I can start afresh and accomplish the goals that I set for August.

Monthly recap : June 2021

I totally wanted to skip this month’s recap. June has been my worst month in terms of productivity. I don’t know how I managed to spend an entire month in utter confusion and anxiety. I managed to skip all my usual self care activities (meditation, workouts and journaling) for most part of this month. I did have a busy work schedule during the last week of June but that doesn’t explain my unproductive streak for the first 3 weeks. I think I needed a break from my usual routine, I wasn’t able to focus or concentrate on the good parts of my life. I took time to heal and it worked to an extent. I won’t say I’m completely back to my usual self but I don’t feel that anxious and confused anymore. I consider that a huge win.

Mental health

• Meditated for 3/30 days.
• Journaled/documented my day for 0 days.
• Practiced gratitude journaling for 0 days.

Personal Growth

This section is for a new skill or talent that I’ve acquired in this month, tried a new activity or thing that has pushed me out of my comfort zone.

• I don’t recollect doing anything special or different this month

Workouts

• Zero outdoor/indoor runs
• Worked out for 8/30 days

Education

• Zero progress with CFA level 1 curriculum.
• Zero online courses completed in June

Entertainment

• Completed reading 0 books (More than halfway through 3 books.)
• No movies/web series

Looking back at my progress this month, I could have easily skipped posting this. But the book I’m reading currently has helped change my perspective at looking things. The book goes by the name “Mindset” by renowned psychologist “Carol Dweck”. The book speaks about two different kind of mindsets that people have “Fixed and Growth”.

I wish to try new things, work hard on myself, focus on learning and growth, not let my mistakes and failure define me, take on new challenges and experience life. That will be my focus in July. Let’s see how this month treats me.

How leading a fit lifestyle changed my life

 ‘The clock is ticking. Are you becoming the person you want to be?’

– Greg Plitt

Day 16/30

Like every other person in their 20s, I was oblivious about fitness and it’s immense benefits. I used to think being fit is for celebrities and models. I genuinely believed that I would NEVER be able to achieve the level of fitness demonstrated by them. By the age of 28, I had tried and failed at all attempts made to lose weight. I obviously didn’t start with workouts first as that seemed like the difficult option. I started with skipping meals, eating lesser portions, trying healthier options, dieting etc. Nothing worked as I wasn’t consistent.

In the year 2017, I was fed up of not being able to plan a trip to South Korea even after trying multiple times. I wanted to visit South Korea (I still do) since 2012 ever since I was introduced to K-Pop and K-Drama. I didn’t have the finances back in 2012 and tried to save small amounts every year to fulfil this wish. But it wasn’t just me, my sister was in college back then and it was practically impossible to save the travel cost for 2 people with all the other responsibilities I had. I gave up and left it to the Universe to decide. As childish as it may sound, I decided to quit the thing I loved the most in life, SUGAR, till I visited South Korea. While it seemed like an absolutely impossible task back then, I did not touch sugar for 1.5 years and finally quit it in the mid of 2018 when I found a new job. Though I couldn’t manage to travel to Korea yet, I realized that my mind was stronger than I thought as I was able to keep my promise of not eating sugar for 1.5 years!

In the year 2018 itself, I was fed up of being overweight and unfit and decided to embark on my fitness journey. I started by eating healthier (quit sugar, junk and processed food) and added running during the weekends to my routine a week later. The week that followed this weekend, I added HIIT workouts too. And I can safely say that this has been the BEST DECISION of my life. I’ve listed down few changes in me ever since I chose this fit lifestyle.

• I feel mentally stronger : The last rep of any workout or the last km in a run always seemed the hardest to me. Day after day, rep after rep, km after km, as I pushed through it, I trained my mind to let go of the resistance and learned that I was stronger than I thought.
• I’m open to new challenges : My run training has helped me develop a positive attitude towards life. When I run and almost feel like giving up before completing my target, I trick my mind diving right into the last run and not letting my feet stop. Our body is always stronger than we think. In a similar manner, we are always stronger than the challenges we face in life. Just dive right into it and face it.
• I feel focused : During the first three months of my fitness journey, I was the most productive I’ve been in my entire life. I managed to read over 20 books and watch countless movies/web series during those 3 months. That has been the most effective utilization of my time ever. I know I could have done better than watching movies but I’ve always had problems with being attentive while performing a single task. My mind tends to wander in 100 different directions when I’m doing any task. Being able to focus my attention on completing my to-do list for each day felt like a big achievement.
• I felt confident : I have always been insecure, had low self esteem and low confidence all my life due to my weight. Once I started shedding of my excess weight, the excess baggage of negative thoughts also disappeared along with it. I felt productive every single day as I started my day with my workouts. I felt accomplished and positive. My life changed for the better.

If you still need a reason to start working out, you can check out the transformation stories of countless people on the internet who have completely changed their lives. Fitness is forever. Let’s strive to lead a healthy lifestyle and become the best version of ourselves.

Making healthier choices

“We were meant to grow. When we don’t grow, we seek diversions–some harmless (if unproductive), others destructive–to fill the emptiness.”

–Jim Clemmer

Day 15/30

I truly believe we always have two choices while taking any decision in our life, a right one and an easier one. The easier one gives immediate reward which is short term, the right one requires hard work but gives fulfilment and the reward is long term. Which option do you choose in most of your decisions in life?

Well, I have mostly picked up the easier option. Well, who doesn’t like an instant reward? That’s what we all crave right? But true happiness and fulfilment lies in making the harder choice.

Choose your hard! We always pick one that gives instant gratification. However, picking the difficult one makes sure that the reward is worthwhile and long lasting. Choose your hard!

Consistency > Motivation

“Success isn’t always about greatness. It’s about consistency. Consistent hard work leads to success. Greatness will come.”

-Dwayne Johnson

Day 7/30

As I was binge eating chocolate today, watching videos of amazing fitness influencers smashing their workouts, I thought to myself begrudgingly, “It’ll take me years to reach their level!”. It’s funny how I decided that I might be able to do it, without trying my hand at it. I have been working out for close to 2.5 years now, the intensity and passion in my effort has worn off sharply since the first 3 months of my fitness journey. The first 3 months were intense and I was extremely motivated to lose weight. That was my sole purpose in life during those 3 months. Ever since I lost weight, I have given myself the leeway to give up fairly easily, have no restrictions in my diet, skip my workouts, be indisciplined at times with the only excuse of, “I deserve it this time, I’ll get back on track tomorrow.” And that tomorrow never comes.

It’s easier to be consistent than wait for our motivation to support us in our goals. The journey towards achieving our goals is set on a long, winding and difficult path. If we wait for our motivation to help us scale this journey, we might have to take frequent breaks and delay the journey by a couple of years. However, being consistent and working on our goals everyday, in the best way possible, shows definite results over time. The wait is excruciatingly painful but can be borne by frequently rewarding ourselves on achieving our daily tasks.

Also the best way to be consistent is to make a habit out of it. Force yourself to stick to a schedule for at least a month or till the time it feels weird when you skip it. Once this is achieved, being consistent is comparatively easy. There are many ups and downs in every human’s life. As I was talking to someone close to me today (the most talented person I know), I understood how negative thoughts can absolutely DESTROY a human being. I know she is capable of GREAT things in life however her mind has total control over her actions. Her negative self talk flares up, especially during important events in her life and clouds her judgement. She ends up losing a lot of great opportunities to take her life to the next level and witnessing this physically hurts me. I realized from her experience that I do not wish to give the negative thought process in my mind any attention and DO WHAT’S BEST TO TAKE MY LIFE TO THE NEXT LEVEL, always! I want to be clear on what I want to do and be in life. Right now, I’m on the brink of losing everything to negativity. I wish to change it, FOREVER.

Is it possible,

• to never succumb to negativity?
• to have total control of our mind?
• to use our mind to our advantage, always?
• to make the best choices for success in life?
• to be in sync with the Universe?
• to ignite our motivation when we need it?

I don’t know the answers to these questions yet but I wish to learn them soon. I’ll start with self introspection and understanding my short and long term goals in life. Once I have these written down, I’ll devise a daily routine that helps me work on all of my goals, brick by brick, each day. The most important aspect is to be CONSISTENT at it, by hook or by crook.

Let’s do this!

Get over it

“You just can’t let life happen to you, you have to make life happen.”

― Idowu Koyenikan

Day 2/30

Today has been a pretty lazy day. I was so inactive throughout the day that I chose lying on the bed, thinking about nothing whatsoever over blogging despite making a commitment to myself (and my blog). For the longest time, I wanted to find a foolproof way to make my weekends productive. I know, we need to rewind and rest, that’s very essential for our physical as well as mental well being. However, I mindlessly waste my weekend, doing absolutely nothing and that makes me feel extremely guilty by the end of it. I don’t wish to have those extended guilt tripped thoughts anymore.

I know few ways (through years of watching ted talks, reading 100s of self help books and observing my thought patterns) to overcome the lazy mode and get around to do something. I know it’s weird that I still end up being unproductive when I am totally aware of the techniques to avoid it. The key here is “intention“. When you really wish to do something in life, you do it regardless of the hurdles and problems you face. When your mind has given up on you and your life, all you wish to do is “NOTHING“.

I’m sick of doing and feeling “nothing”. I don’t know my purpose in life yet but I do know that it would most definitely involve “experiencing life in it’s glory“. It’s challenging, hard, hectic but beautiful nevertheless. In order to do so, we need to may follow the below steps :-

• Positive self talk/affirmations : Have you ever tried complimenting yourself in front of the mirror? Try it as soon as you can. It may seem a little awkward at first but soon you’ll get used to uplifting yourself than shredding yourself to pieces. Indulge in a little self care session of talking about your achievements, your goals, your skills, yourself in general. This will surely uplift your mood, charge you up for the day ahead and make you feel really great in your skin. You can add this as part of your daily routine (especially at bedtime) so that you wake up energized, ready to seize the day.
• Make a to-do list : I cannot stress enough on the importance of this step. If we don’t know what we are supposed to do during the day, we end up wasting time doing nothing. It’s very important to be aware of your tasks for the day and the time slots to complete it. A to-do list prepared the night before gives you enough motivation to wake up in the morning and provides the direction to complete all your tasks in an efficient manner. “When in doubt, note it down!“
• Meditate and workout : These activities are known to make people happy, positive and energized. Doing it first thing after you wake up makes you feel productive right after staring your day and sets the tone for the rest of the day. If you are a beginner, try by doing it for just 5 mins each. You will most definitely feel better after it’s done and dusted. If you have done it before, be insanely consistent with it. No excuses!
• Live in the present moment : Meditation helps in focusing our attention on our breath and ignore the chatterbox that lives rent-free in our mind. Journaling is a great way to rethink about the day, find out the highlights of the day and write it down for posterity. This simple yet powerful activity is sure to bring your attention back to the present moment. Procrastination is fear in disguise (at least in my case). When I fear that I might not be able to do a task, scared to attempt a new thing, avoid social interactions, fear that I might make a fool of myself in front of others, I procrastinate. Work on being confident in your own skin, do the things that scare you the most, attempt new things, this will help in developing your confidence, from scratch.
• Cut out refined sugar : Sugar feels great for your taste buds but your body despises it. It makes you feel bloated, adds unnecessary weight to your mind and body, makes you feel lethargic, has zero nutrient value, pulls you ten steps backward from your fitness goals and breaks you out at times. Find out ways to avoid cravings. I used to crave something sweet after my lunch each day. I have started to drink green tea right after lunch to curb those cravings and so far it’s working well. Of course I lose track many times and eat beyond limits, but it’s great if you cut it out completely from your diet to feel better about yourself (mind and body).
• Portion control your meals : It’s no suspense that eating excess food drags you down and makes you feel drowsy and lethargic. Be grateful for every meal and eat mindfully. Remember that food is a necessary fuel to help you survive. Don’t associate your happiness levels to the amount of food on your plate. Eat right and feel good throughout the day. I just saw a brilliant technique to avoid overeating online. 30 mins before your schedules meal, drink water so that you don’t confuse thirst with hunger.

I guess that’s all I have for today. I am going to follow these steps this moment onwards. I’m tired of living a directionless life and it’s high time that I change (for the better). Let’s do this!

Make it right

“I just wanna be happier”

-Lyrics from song “Blue & Grey”, Album “BE’ by BTS

I had a 2 weeks mandatory leave from office (to be taken once a year as per company policy) which ends today. Since I value time off from my office way too much, I tried to live every moment of these 2 weeks. I travelled to Bangalore with my mom to my younger sister’s place as she works there, to spend time with her. We planned a short trip to Mysore and enjoyed it to bits. We also had a grand reunion with all of my maternal cousins and had a house party. More than the party, I just enjoyed the presence of every single member of my extended family whom I met after 2 years and loved spending time with them. When I was younger, we used to visit my maternal ancestral home in Mangalore once a year during summer vacations. Although we never had a full house with all of my cousins during most of these trips, we always had a blast whenever we met. This time too, we cherished all the old childhood memories and just loved the fact that everyone was present in the same room, at the same time after almost 2 years!

In the last 3 days of the vacation, my youngest cousin joined us at my sister’s apartment and we had fun like it was no one’s business. She shares similar personality traits with me and my sister which makes it a blissful experience whenever we spend time with each other. We talked till the middle of the night, shopped till we dropped (well my sister did, she doesn’t particularly enjoy shopping at local stores, ate a lot of JUNK food, laughed our hearts out and had a really GOOD time. I had planned to continue all my good habits such as reading books, meditation, workout, write in my journal on this vacation. I did it the first 3 days and didn’t feel the need to do any of it to be “HAPPY” the rest of the days. I genuinely enjoyed myself on this vacation and was stress free the entire time. I never skip any of these good habits back home because I REALLY need them to keep me SANE and HAPPY. These good habits are my escape from the monotony and stress of my life and that’s the reason I didn’t reach out to them to make me happy on my vacation.

I came back home after having a mind blowing vacation and still had 5 days to go for my leave to end. The next 5 days were spent lazying around, cleaning (tried cleaning my wardrobe and closet partially using the Marie Kondo method), EATING and enjoying every single second of free time that I had earned after living a year full of routine (Wake up > Office > Home > Repeat). It honestly felt amazing to not stress over waking up early, having a specific train to board, reaching office at a specific time, making a to-do list, waiting for lunch time to get out of the office and chill for sometime with my office bestie, get back to work, wait for the day to end, pray that I get a empty seat in the train, reach home starved and fatigued, have dinner while watching random videos on YouTube, finally go to sleep feeling unsettled and unproductive.

By the end of the day, the voices in my head keep questioning me about my life decisions,

• Where am I heading?
• Why can’t I do better?
• What do I really want?
• Why do I dread going to office?
• Why do I hate my career path at the moment?
• Why does office feel like a professional prison?
• Why did I feel like a free bird (like a prisoner on parole) during my vacation?
• When will I stop feeling like this?

I try to reason with my mind, find answers to these questions by self introspection without respite and eventually fall asleep. I wake up to a new day feeling optimistic but end up feeling the same way after repeating my monotonous routine.

I’m sure people reading this might find my dilemma trivial. Just find a new job, take a break, quit your job, follow your passion, think deeply about what you like, so on and so forth. I really admire people who LOVE their career. That’s what I am aiming for. Finding a career that doesn’t make you feel like running away from it during weekends and vacations is what I seek. I may seem delusional at the moment but I sincerely hope to find it soon. In the absence of this discovery, I might lead a robotic life, devoid of any emotions, passion and excitement in life and regret how I spent my time on earth by the end of it.

For all those who enjoy your work, I admire you and hope to be like you.

For the ones who feel the same way as me, hang in there. It’ll all make sense soon, just don’t stop trying. Fight hard!

A brand new work week awaits for me. Please send me all the positive energy in this Universe, I really need it tomorrow!

12 goals for 2021

My goals are usually very descriptive and never ending. I love writing down goals and I’m curious to experience life in general. Although I’m tempted to write down every goal in the book each year, I’ve decided to stick to 12 most important ones this time. I’m jotting down these goals here as my wish list for the Universe. It’ll be great fun to revisit them at the end of the year and figure out how many goals I managed to accomplish.

1. Travel to South Korea and attend BTS concert live
2. Clear Chartered Financial Analyst^® (CFA^®) level 1 exam (scheduled on 21st February), earn a scholarship for Level 2 exam
3. Run 10 kms under 60 minutes and half marathon under 2 hrs 15 minutes
4. Meet my other half (Dripped in cheese, I know. The wait has been excruciatingly long!)
5. Lose body fat, gain muscle definition (will define this in absolute terms once I check my current measurements)
6. Read 50 books and watch 50 shows/movies
7. Join the 5 am club (wake up at 5 am everyday)
8. Help mom lose weight (10 kgs) and become the fittest version of herself
9. Complete 12 online courses
10. Cross the 500 articles and 1000 followers mark on my blog, The Supermode.
11. Speak, read and write fluent Korean
12. A 50% increase in my current pay scale, upgrade in my designation at work (through my current job or a new one)

That’s it and I’m all pumped for 2021!

2 weeks to reality

“Each person deserves a day away, in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for. Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.”

-Maya Angelou

I came to know on Monday that I would have to resume normal office working days starting January 2021. 2020 has been an extraordinary year in all aspects but the biggest gift from this year for me has been the “long break” from my routine life. I was completely burned out due to various events in my life during the beginning of 2020. I desperately sought a long break. I remember having a conversation with my younger sister where I told her that my dire wish was to quit my job, take a year long break and travel the world. I knew at that time owing to my responsibilities at home, quitting my job was not an option. But Universe heard me out and gave me the gift of a lifetime, an “almost” year long break without having to quit my job.

For majority of this year, I have worked from home. We had a complete lockdown of 2.5 months here in India from March 25th to May 31st. I resumed office on 29th June and my office visits in July and August were sporadic, about once a week. The journey was extremely hectic, I spent close to 8 hrs in a bus travelling to and fro from office due to the insane roadways traffic. From September to November, I went to office twice a week which increased by 1 extra day in alternate weeks in the month of December. In all, I have thoroughly enjoyed my time off from the extremely rushed routine life that I had in the pre-covid times.

As my sweet fairy tale comes to an end, I am prepared to take the challenges of a daily hectic routine life once again, starting January 2021. It’s an extremely bittersweet feeling for me to bid adieu to 2020 which has given me much more happiness than I could ask for. I am very well aware that I am one of the few who considers 2020 as a blessing and I’m filled with gratitude towards the Universe for it. I will post a detailed “year in review” on 31st December and make it a tradition on my blog going ahead. Till then, I’ll go back to the blissful last 2 weeks of 2020 and make the most of it.