Hope is all we have

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“Hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there’s no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic.”

-Laini Taylor

I didn’t have a very comfortable life as a child. We had many financial and household issues to deal with. Everyday was a struggle for us, especially my mom. However, if I were to compare my mental strength back then to now, I was way more happy, hopeful and positive in the past. I refrained from overthinking every single aspect of my life, I was hopeful and positive of a bright future, I knew things would turn out in our favour sooner or later. I had something to look forward to, I had a lot of goals for my future, the future seemed like a happy dream that I was eager to convert to reality.

Things did work out in our favour. Most of my childhood goals have been accomplished (from earning a degree, getting a stable job, fulfilling the basic materialistic goals such as buying a branded cell phone to fancy clothes to renovating my house). Life should be amazing, I should be happy, I shouldn’t have anything to crib about anymore. Well that’s the issue, why does all of this still seem difficult? Why do we forget everything that has worked for us and always focus on the things that we don’t have? Why does my mind have to overthink every single moment of my life and present me with situations that always seem unfavorable and scary? I was never this confused during my childhood when we had very few reasons to be happy or grateful for. But now when I have a zillion things to be happy about, my mind keeps redirecting me to that one thing that I don’t have or that one goal I might never achieve!

I had problems back in my childhood as well. But I was hopeful of a happy future and that dream kept me alive. It gave me the energy to fight the devils of my mind and just focus on the task at hand. As I grew up and came across more failures in life, my hopeful nature lost it’s sheen and my mind started storing and reliving the real life experiences of feeling lost, disappointed, hurt and scared. Because of this I’ve reached at a phase in life where every new decision causes my mind to relive all the pain and trauma I’ve experienced in the past. Thus, I’m unable to think straight, hope for a bright future, work towards a goal or simply be happy without overthinking any aspect of my life.

Overthinking sucks big time. It makes every simple decision of my life into a life or death situation. It completely drains my energy and distorts my ability to think straight. I know happiness is not a destination but a life long journey. A single event or goal in our life doesn’t have the ability to keep us happy forever. It’s a daily process, a life long effort and developing a hopeful attitude towards life.

I might have mentioned this many times before but I need to reiterate it to myself as I’ve lost my track and fallen deep into the black hole of overthinking. It has drained me and is now clouding my judgement. It isn’t allowing me to enjoy a single moment of peace and happiness without thinking twice about it. Few minor changes that I’m planning to make henceforth to avoid my mind to take control of my life.

  • Practice being in the present : Focus only on the present moment
  • Focus on what I have control over : Ignore what we can’t change, work on things we can control
  • Write down your thoughts when it gets overwhelming : Maintain a daily journal
  • Figure out solutions than mulling over problems : Think about all the possible way out and how it can be effective in solving the problem
  • Become a person of action : Especially in making simple decisions, take decisions right away rather than pondering over it indefinitely.

I’ll share my thoughts and experiences on the effect of making these simple changes in my life soon. Till then, let’s be happy and focus on living our life to the fullest!

25 thoughts on “Hope is all we have”

  1. I sympathise 200%! I overthink everything. I also think about how I didn’t care nearly as much when I was younger. I think part of the issue is always looking backwards! We can only pick up the pieces and move forward. Focusing on the present/your circle of control – being clear/ruthless about what you want is great advice. It’s important to remember, there is no such thing as a perfect decision – simply be decisive and make one, then course correct as you go. Have faith that you will figure it out. Great list. 🙏

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    • I agree, living and reliving the past is one of the main reasons that leads us to overthink our present and future. Your advise on making a decision makes great sense. It’s exactly what I needed to hear and every other overthinker would really benefit from. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It made me feel a lot better. Here’s to making an attempt to have a clutter free mind!💙

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  3. Sometimes less is more and more is less..
    The more our desires get fulfilled the more new ones are created. Growing older the desires keep multiplying keeping us constantly restless. That’s why wisdom dictates putting a ceiling on desires if you want to feel peaceful in life. Evaluating the worth of our desires and pruning them accordingly is a good idea!

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    • I totally agree on your thoughts with respect to human desires. I know now that there’s absolutely no limit to it and can cause us to feel unfulfilled at all times. I guess having no desires at all can make us feel empty too, there might be nothing to look forward to. Instead of desires, I feel we need to focus on ‘growth’. Having new (achievable) goals with respect to the main aspects of your life (family, career, finance, relationships, knowledge, fitness etc) and pursuing them accordingly might help. But yes, as you said, in case we do end up with new desires, we need to have a deep understanding of how important they are in our life and follow them accordingly.

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      • Absolutely. ‘No desires’ would make it a dull enterprise! Idea is not to let them go haywire, and as you said, to choose them wisely focusing on those that encourage growth, the fulfillment of which gives deep inner satisfaction..not being dependent on what others think or feel!

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      • Yes, that’s what one should aim for. Aptly put! I’ll try to live by these new rules in life now. It’ll require rewiring old set patterns and adopting new habits. But we got to start somewhere!

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  5. You are still a ray of hope and sunshine for others, I can vouch for that. You make sure you spread light and positivity. You are the same as the young girl you have described to me. I reach out to you when I am down for exactly this reason. Just don’t be this hard on yourself, treat yourself like you treat me. With love and adoration. You can do this, it’s high time that bright girl made her own life sunshiny 🌟

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  6. I wonder how at this junction of solutions and problems we people ceases to operate it, keeping them flowing in a free flow, when I think.og you, you just seems perfect to me in every sense. So, just ignore that one goal, that one thing which yet to come for you. You got whatever ypu desired right, so that one thing will arrive soon, you don’t have to overthink or worrying over it, I’m not good with cheering a d pushing myself but I’m good at cheering others so, go for a run may be, a long one. It will cheer you,

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    • I don’t know if it’s about a single thing. I’ve never been this confused in my life. I get anxious even while making simple decisions in my day to day life. I don’t know how I reached this stage but it’s exhausting. I’m working on changing this aspect of my life right now. You managed to cheer me up just right. Thanks a lot for you kind words. I need to plan a long run, haven’t stepped out for a run in almost 2 months. Just waiting for things to get a little better here in Mumbai.

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      • Ohh, you are in Mumbai I thought you were somewhere on South, near Bangalore. Then stay home, try something else at home, mmm, I really don’t know anything which substitutes running, 😔 . Stay strong, things will change, afterall time is change right, 😇😇

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      • My birthplace is Bangalore but I was brought up in Mumbai. I do workout but it’s not a substitute for running. I’ll hit the roads probably this week. Things are opening up here in Mumbai now. Yes, I’ll be strong. Thank you so much for all the support! Take care…

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      • Hey, I’m going offline for a while, but I’m gonna do all the journaling and routines, I’m getting used to the routine now, see you soon, and I wrote wrong last comment, you don’t have to be strong you are already strong, one who ran 21 km, who is doing CFA, that’s the definition of strong for me. You ispired me alot, I will make sure it won’t get wane like a movie. See you later, 👋😇😇

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      • Shivam! Thank you so much! This comment made my day! You are too sweet. Take care of yourself, hope to see you soon. And I’ll work on myself to overcome whatever issues I’m facing at the moment.

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  7. I’m hopeful.

    Overthinking! That’s a big problem. Certainly, I cannot stop myself thinking about the people, things and their matters I see in daily life. I want to recognise and understand them.

    I’m also aware an individual problems and challenges. Our life should be simple and easier, so we can focus on the things which really matters. For example, drinking water is a big issue in our area. Which can be solved if people respect each other’s need and learn to share. Local authority must be aware.

    An an individual, I’m interested in managing personal finance. It looks bad when you expand from your parents money and give nothing in the back. An educated person needs time to sprout, grow, develop and spread. Our learning are our biggest achievement, respect can be earned by respecting others. Here, management of finance and resources is very important.

    I believe in individual development but sharing a common goal with the people shall be not a bad idea. 🙂

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    • It’s a great thing that you have a hopeful nature, hang on to it. As they say, one can never dim the light that shines from within. Be hopeful and trust the process, that helps solve a lot of clutter that our mind is capable of creating.

      My overthinking mostly relates to my future because of my experiences in the past. They elevate whenever I have a decision to make. Somehow, scenarios are built in my mind which shows that no matter what I choose, the outcome won’t be in my favour.

      I really like the clear way in which you think. I agree every problem has a solution. You just need to think straight and figure out a solution. Once a solution is arrived it, go for it without overthinking the outcome. You either succeed or learn something new in the process.

      If you want to manage your personal finance, start by keeping a record of your income. Maintain a monthly reconciliation of your income and expenses. This helps you to be aware of your nature of spendings and plan your savings. As far as savings are concerned, you can start with the basic if you are in your 20s. 50-30-20 (50% of your income towards your NEEDS, 30% towards WANTS and 20% towards SAVINGS). This is called the Elizabeth Warren rule elaborated in her book All your worth – The Ultimate Lifetime Money plan. If you need a simple book relevant for our country, try reading ‘Mint your money’ by Pranjal Kamra. Also check out Ankur Warikoo’s videos on everything related to personal finance. The amount of information he shares is insane. All the best!

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      • Thanks for sharing your valuable advice. I’ll check the resources you mentioned.

        I’ll keep you updated by my situation, how far I have reached and what are the possibilities etc. Sweet dreams. 😇

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  9. There is no use of overthinking, it’s always ruins self..Sometimes we can’t control everything around us, but we can control our mind and activities..It’s really hard to track our mind and heart together but it’s not an impossible one..
    People can be separated into positive and negative, try to stay away from negativities and focus on healthy thoughts and healthy converastions..

    SOMETIMES TO LEAD A BEAUTIFUL MEANINGFUL AND PURPOSEFUL LIFE TOGETHER ARE DIFFICULT BUT REMEMBER ITS NOT IMPOSSIBLE.

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