Hope is all we have

“Hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there’s no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic.”

-Laini Taylor

I didn’t have a very comfortable life as a child. We had many financial and household issues to deal with. Everyday was a struggle for us, especially my mom. However, if I were to compare my mental strength back then to now, I was way more happy, hopeful and positive in the past. I refrained from overthinking every single aspect of my life, I was hopeful and positive of a bright future, I knew things would turn out in our favour sooner or later. I had something to look forward to, I had a lot of goals for my future, the future seemed like a happy dream that I was eager to convert to reality.

Things did work out in our favour. Most of my childhood goals have been accomplished (from earning a degree, getting a stable job, fulfilling the basic materialistic goals such as buying a branded cell phone to fancy clothes to renovating my house). Life should be amazing, I should be happy, I shouldn’t have anything to crib about anymore. Well that’s the issue, why does all of this still seem difficult? Why do we forget everything that has worked for us and always focus on the things that we don’t have? Why does my mind have to overthink every single moment of my life and present me with situations that always seem unfavorable and scary? I was never this confused during my childhood when we had very few reasons to be happy or grateful for. But now when I have a zillion things to be happy about, my mind keeps redirecting me to that one thing that I don’t have or that one goal I might never achieve!

I had problems back in my childhood as well. But I was hopeful of a happy future and that dream kept me alive. It gave me the energy to fight the devils of my mind and just focus on the task at hand. As I grew up and came across more failures in life, my hopeful nature lost it’s sheen and my mind started storing and reliving the real life experiences of feeling lost, disappointed, hurt and scared. Because of this I’ve reached at a phase in life where every new decision causes my mind to relive all the pain and trauma I’ve experienced in the past. Thus, I’m unable to think straight, hope for a bright future, work towards a goal or simply be happy without overthinking any aspect of my life.

Overthinking sucks big time. It makes every simple decision of my life into a life or death situation. It completely drains my energy and distorts my ability to think straight. I know happiness is not a destination but a life long journey. A single event or goal in our life doesn’t have the ability to keep us happy forever. It’s a daily process, a life long effort and developing a hopeful attitude towards life.

I might have mentioned this many times before but I need to reiterate it to myself as I’ve lost my track and fallen deep into the black hole of overthinking. It has drained me and is now clouding my judgement. It isn’t allowing me to enjoy a single moment of peace and happiness without thinking twice about it. Few minor changes that I’m planning to make henceforth to avoid my mind to take control of my life.

• Practice being in the present : Focus only on the present moment
• Focus on what I have control over : Ignore what we can’t change, work on things we can control
• Write down your thoughts when it gets overwhelming : Maintain a daily journal
• Figure out solutions than mulling over problems : Think about all the possible way out and how it can be effective in solving the problem
• Become a person of action : Especially in making simple decisions, take decisions right away rather than pondering over it indefinitely.

I’ll share my thoughts and experiences on the effect of making these simple changes in my life soon. Till then, let’s be happy and focus on living our life to the fullest!

Becoming receptive

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

–Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

I had read “The Secret” long back in 2008 after it was suggested to me by my class teacher. I read the book randomly without understanding a word in it. However, my sister was very intrigued by the book and spent days and weeks on the internet to find out all the related concepts discussed in the book. It was the first time in my life that I came across the concept of “Law of Attraction” and absolutely rubbished the claim. The book literally said that “Treat the Universe like a genie, ask your wishes, truly believe that you will receive it, act has if you have already received it and voila, your wishes will come true!” How was I supposed to believe in something as vague as that? Also my life was pretty uncomplicated during those days, I was always full of hope and positivity and truly believed that I had control over my life and future.

As I grew up and started experiencing failures and setbacks in life, I realized that life wasn’t as straight forward as I thought. We don’t get everything we dream of, things don’t always work out in our favor, sometimes we get rejections even after trying our best and many a times we keep waiting for better days to come. I turned to “The Secret” again during my C.A. final exam days in the year 2012, when I was in stress 24*7 and it helped me immensely during that time. It helped restore my faith and hope in the Universe, it made me forget about my negative feelings and focus on the bright side of every situation.

It’s been more than 9 years to the last time I believed in the power of “The Law of Attraction“. I let life take control of my destiny and stopped believing that I too have the power to rewrite my future. I know it might sound way too nonsensical to many of you at the moment but the only reason I am trying to get back to believing in the power of the Universe is because it had helped me immensely in the past.

Lately I have noticed few instances in my life where I got a glimpse of few things I have desired since long, only to be taken back from me. This applies to my job search and a fitness watch that has been on my wish list since forever. It felt like my prayers were answered finally by handing me these desires only to be snatched away from me at the last moment. As soon as I realize that there’s even a slightest chance for my life to change, I start overthinking all of my life’s decisions and start questioning if I really need those things in my life. I have never felt this confused ever in my life before. My thoughts aren’t clear, I don’t know what I truly want and any change in my life is only triggering a sense of fear instead of excitement or wonder. This should certainly not be the case.

While researching about this phenomena, I stumbled upon an amazing article by Rose Stein (https://thoughtcatalog.com/rose-stein/2016/04/this-is-how-you-should-open-yourself-up-to-the-universe/). Do give it a read, it is precise and just what a confused soul is seeking. For people who feel confused and stuck in life, she has suggested 5 guiding ideals that’ll help clear our thought process and make us receptive to the Universe and it’s infinite possibilities.

• Trust
• Openness
• Gratitude
• Acceptance
• Intention

I really wish to get more clarity in my life and this article gives me hope. I have decided to delve deep into the practice of gratitude journaling, setting a powerful intention, deeply believing in the power of the Universe, opening myself up to the abundance and most importantly accepting my current situation instead of running away from it.

I choose to be receptive and will work hard to clear the unnecessary blocks in my mind.

Manifestation Scripting

“Attitude is the little thing that can make a huge impact in every single area in your life. When your attitude is right, you will thrive and flourish. The universe feels your attitude and you will manifest whatever your attitude reflects. So let your attitude be electric!”

-Anonymous

Day 11/30

Yesterday, I wrote about my insecurities and fear for my future and received uplifting comments from my fellow bloggers. Of late, most of my posts have been about the negative aspects of my life and I understand it’s adverse impact on the readers as well. Writing them did relieve me from the mental stress that I was facing at that moment but I avoided reading my own posts as well. I wish to try my best now. I wish to change it. I have started researching (a little bit) about manifestation, affirmation, positivity, gratitude more so that I can use them to create the life I desire. In the coming days, I wish to read and increase my knowledge about all these topics and try them out in my life. I may not achieve any dramatic results overnight but I want to be consistent at it this time. The flip side to this situation is intense darkness and negativity and I’m done with it. I’m willing to take effort to improve my life as doing nothing doesn’t make me happy anyways.

The first topic in this series is Manifestation Scripting.

Manifestation Scripting is a technique wherein you write down in detail about the life you wish to create/manifest. I have tried this technique long back during my Chartered Accountancy Final examinations and I did end up clearing the exams. While I don’t know if I should attribute the success entirely to this process as preparing for the exams were mostly under my control, there are some things in my life that are totally out of my control right now. I wish to apply this technique and understand if it truly works.

What you’ll need? A journal and pen.

You can use any journal of your choice but to make it more fun and effective, choose a journal that’s bright and positive. It can have a great quote on it or you can design something that sparks the light in you whenever you look at it. The key to Manifestation is “BELIEF”. You need to believe that this journal is the key to the life of your dreams. Make it as interactive as possible.

How to do it?

Start the journal entry by “Gratitude“. Gratitude is the first step towards an abundant life. Be grateful for everything that is right (or wrong but has given you an enriching experience) in your life. You can write about anything under the sun. The key here is to truly feel grateful it when you write about it. If you are grateful for your current life, the Universe will give you more reasons to be grateful for.

Now start the scripting process. Write down your desires in the present tense as you have already achieved it.

For example, if I wish to manifest an Iphone, I will write down,

Thank you so much Universe for this amazing Iphone 12 pro Max. I’m truly grateful for it and it has brought a lot of joy in my life.

Be as specific as you can and make sure to truly imagine it’s presence in your life as you are scripting it.

And that’s it. According to what I’ve read about this, this is the simplest way to manifest the life of your dreams. It is advised to do this process twice a day, first thing in the morning and right before you sleep.

I’ll be starting this process from tomorrow and plan to do this for a month and share it’s results/my experience with you.

If any of you have already tried this, do share your experience in the comments.

Gracias : 200 followers!

WHAT? REALLY? This seems unbelievable to me right now! The journey from zero to 200 followers has been INCREDIBLE. A big thank you from the bottom of my heart to each one of my fellow bloggers and readers who took the time out to read, comment and follow my blog. I am ecstatic to have hit this milestone in my blogging journey. I feel extremely blessed to be on such an amazing platform of readers and bloggers who are supportive and don’t leave any stone unturned to lift each other up.

Writing is the best form of therapy for me and I intend to continue this for as long as I can. My best wishes for everyone on this beautiful journey of growth and self discovery.

Gratitude for “Abundance”

“Gratitude is one of the strongest and most transformative states of being. It shifts your perspective from lack to abundance and allows you to focus on the good in your life, which in turn pulls more goodness into your reality.”

-Jen Sincero

If someone would have told me to count my blessings and be happy in the present 2 years back, I would have fumed at that person. Here I am in the middle of discussing my life’s problems, every single one of them felt life threatening back then and the reply I get is to “be grateful for what you have!”. This advice sounded simple and extremely useless to me.

Fast forward to the present moment, I am the one preaching the importance of having a deep sense of gratitude in our lives. How does being grateful help in transforming our life? When we shift the focus from our problems (lack) to our blessings (abundance), there is an instant change in our mindset to look at the brighter aspect of every situation. I agree, technically this doesn’t help us solve our problems, but does being anxious about it serve the purpose? It doesn’t, it aggravates the core issue and multiplies the severity by 100 or even more. Technically being scared, fearful, anxious, stressed also isn’t a big help. On the other hand, it makes the situation look much more dangerous than it already is.

Our mind is a powerful tool, maybe the most powerful element of human existence. The biggest battles in our life are fought in our mind in a much more grandiose manner than in the reality. It is extremely beneficial and useful to keep the mind in our favor so that it helps us when we need it the most. Dwelling on negativity hampers our growth and forces us to lead a life of mediocrity when we are capable of doing much more than we can ever imagine. Developing a grateful mindset requires consistent practice and constant effort. Once we develop a habit of practicing gratitude daily, our mind slowly learns to focus on the positive aspects of our life and every situation that we go through on a daily basis. Doing this consistently converts our mind into a magnet to attract abundance in our life. We are truly gifted with a lot of blessings in our life, being aware of them opens the doors to abundance and happiness.

Simple ways in which we can develop a gratitude practice

• Morning routine : Write down 3 things that you are grateful for each day. This could be anything from the food you really enjoyed last night to the presence of your friends and family in your life. This would hardly take 5 minutes but is the best way to set the tone for each new day.
• Night routine : Before the end of each day, write down 3 biggest highlights of the day, something that really made you happy, excited or simply made you feel better. This is an incredible way to focus on the present and live each day mindfully than just pass it by.

That’s it. It’s this simple. Since we have reached the last month of this extraordinary year, I’ve made a pledge to follow this routine daily to welcome the new year with an “abundance mindset“. I would love for you guys to also develop this practice and let me know if it helped make your life a little better, each day!

Be Fit : Milestone 3

The third milestone is here and I feel pretty happy with my efforts made for fitness in October. I managed to stick to a daily meditation and gratitude journaling routine which is something I had been struggling with a long time. I’m not focusing on the results from this routine at the moment. I am focusing on doing it consistently to make it a habit so that I can reap it’s benefits in the long term. My running schedule took a hit this month, I was pretty lazy. I have slept through the alarms each week and was pretty disappointed with myself. I tried to make up for it last weekend and was extremely happy to push my limits for a 7.7 km run on Saturday followed up by a 10 km run on Sunday. My goal is to be consistent with my running schedule in November.

Here are my achievements for this month :-

Weight :-

Starting weight (10th August) : 62.9 kgs

Milestone 1 (31st August) : 62.5 kgs (Lost 0.4 kgs)

Milestone 2 (1st October) : 61.4 kgs (Lost 1.1 kgs)

Milestone 3 (2nd November) : 60.5 kgs (Lost 0.9 kgs)

Workouts :-

I have been regular with my HIIT workouts/skipping routine during the weekdays however slacked off during the weekends.

Meditation :-

I tweaked up my meditation routine to do it first thing after I wake up in the morning. This has worked wonders for me as I haven’t skipped it even once for the past 25 days. I currently have a 25 day streak on Headspace and that makes me very happy.

Food :-

Although I ordered takeaways on many occasions, I am pretty satisfied with my food habits this month. Ever since I started meditation, I’ve noticed a slight decline in my food cravings and mindless eating habits which is great! My water intake has been up to the mark as well.

Key achievements :

• Ran twice outdoors, 7.68 kms in 52.38 mins on 31st October and 10.14 kms in 1.11.46 hrs on 1st November.

Goals for Milestone 4 (30th November):-

• Workout everyday
• No refined sugar
• Limited cheat meals (Fried, processed food)
• Rope skip every evening at least 200 times
• Attempt 10 push ups
• Run 5 kms on Saturday, 10 kms on Sunday every week
• Improve my running pace, 5 kms under 30 mins and 10 kms under 65 mins

See you until the next milestone!!

Importance of mental health

#78/100

“There is hope, even when your brain tells you there isn’t.”

–John Green

It’s “World Mental Health Day” today and I couldn’t find a better day to talk about this topic. My parents belonged to a generation where talking about mental health or any of the illnesses and disorders related to it was considered a huge stigma. It is considered an untouchable topic by many even today. But am glad the present generation has made continued efforts in breaking the barriers surrounding the most important aspect of human life. People of our generation are open about their feelings, do not shy away from discussing their mental health issues and seek out help when they realize that something is wrong.

I woke up today to the news of a young boy who chose to commit suicide due to depression. He was just 13-14 years old. I’m unable to comprehend the pain that the boy had to go through before he chose to end the misery altogether. He couldn’t talk about it with his parents and they are left with innumerable unanswerable questions in their mind.

For the longest time, I did not talk about my feelings with my parents as well. My relationship with my mother changed after I had a heart to heart discussion with her about everything I had in mind. This step is a lost cause as far as my father is concerned. But I’m glad my mother understands the importance of mental health and lends a patient ear whenever I vent out my frustrations to her.

Many of us might feel that this topic is overrated and we can overcome anything if we wish to. When we experience mental health disorders like panic attacks, anxiety, OCD or depression, our brain undergoes changes that are definitely not under our control. Many a times, we just don’t feel in the mood to do anything in life. We lose all hope for the future and are unable to experience happiness. These feelings are real. The first step to deal with a mental health disorder is “acceptance“. We need to accept that something is wrong with our thought patterns. The next step is to “seek help“. I’ve tried talking to various counsellors with the sole reason to get me out of the negative pattern my brain has gone into. I always wanted a quick and permanent solution to the problem. But it doesn’t work that way. Mental health disorders can be caused due to genes and family history, environmental stress, a traumatic experience, childhood trauma, life experiences or a combination of these factors. These causes accumulate over a period of time and take a long time to show red flags. By the time we realize it, we might not be in a condition to come out of it on our own.

There are few effective ways in which we can maintain a stable mental health if we are willing to work on it every single day. These are techniques that each one of us is aware of yet we are unwilling to take time out to work on ourselves till the situation gets out of hand. I’m trying my level best to create a routine and habit out of these techniques so that I follow them every single day on an “auto-pilot mode“.

• Workouts : Exercise in any form is a proven way to release endorphins in our brain which makes us happy and healthy. This one has dual effects in maintaining our physical as well as mental health.
• Meditation : I can’t stress enough about the benefits of meditation in our life. It is incredibly difficult to make this one a habit. We need to push ourselves very hard in the beginning. Yet, the benefits are incredible and almost instantaneous. I have started a practice of meditating right after I wake up. This has proven very effective in maintaining a good routine so far. Meditation has powerful benefits in the long term if practiced daily. It helps us become aware of our thoughts and teaches us not not dwell on every thought in our mind.
• Journaling : It’s the best way to let out our emotions and understand the pattern of our thoughts. Journaling and writing has helped me find answers to the questions I never had. It helps me in self introspection and understanding myself better. Sometimes, when we are unable to find people to talk to, our journals help us deal with our loneliness. It also helps us to focus on the present moment and live each day as it comes.
• Gratitude : I wrote an article about this a few days ago. The most powerful practice suggested by my counsellor was to write 3 things I am grateful for every morning and 3 great things that happened during the day in the evening. This is an incredible practice to count our blessings in life and more reasons to be happy.

I wish and pray for your mental health and happiness.

A little extra effort

#77/100

Go the extra mile, it’s never crowded.

-Wayne Dyer

I remember watching a show as a kid that had left a lasting impact on me. In the show, the main protagonist was a little girl who was an average student in school and had no friends. On her birthday, she invited her entire class for a party but not a single one paid visit to her home. Just before the end of the party, her doorbell rang. It was her favorite aunt who gave her a surprise visit. The little girl poured her heart out to her aunt and asked her why she was unable to make friends? Her aunt thought for a while and searched her purse to fish out a beautiful necklace with a butterfly pendant. The aunt told the kid that this was a magic necklace. The wearer of this necklace will have all their wishes fulfilled. But there’s a catch. In order for the magic to work, the the little girl had to ensure 3 things on her part :-

• Always be kind and helpful to others
• Be thankful for everything that you have in life
• Work a little extra hard each time

The little girl was overjoyed with the gift and tried putting it to use right away. The next day in school, she offered help when a fellow classmate was stuck at a math problem. She smiled and said thanks to her teachers for looking after her in school. At home, she studied for an extra hour than usual to put the third rule into practice. Nothing really happened for the first 2 days. On the third day, a fellow classmate asked if she could sit next to her. She finally had someone to talk to in school!!! When the end term results were announced, she was surprised to find that she had topped the class. All the extra studying hours had finally paid off. Her kindness left a lasting impact on everyone and she quickly became everyone’s favorite in school.

We already know the benefits of being kind and grateful in life. I wish to elaborate on the third rule. This story sounds very basic now, but as a kid it motivated me to do well in school. A little extra effort today works a long way. Every human being has a self imposed limitation set by their mind. Yet, we find few people in our day to day life, who are way ahead than the rest and at the top of their game every single time. Are they born this way? Not exactly. Some people are surely born more talented than the rest. But, if they don’t work on their talent each day, someone else with average skills will move past them in the race of life. Talent cannot be developed but skill can be. We can learn and be good at any thing we put our mind to, only if we are willing to run the extra mile for it.

If you wish to live an extraordinary life, be prepared to work extraordinarily hard for it. I don’t want you to lose your food and sleep over it. Remember the exact moment when you feel like giving up or calling it a day, push yourself to sustain past this feeling for some more time. This can be applied to any aspect of life. Be it an extra lap during your morning run, reading few more pages of a book, reaching work a few minutes earlier than the rest or simply studying an extra chapter for the day. A little extra than your mental limitation, that’s all it takes to turn ordinary into “extra”ordinary!

The importance of gratitude

#75/100

“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.”

-Willie Nelson

I didn’t believe in this before. I was thankful for all the help and support I received from the kind people around me. But I’ve never actively counted my blessings and practiced being grateful in my life. Whenever I read or saw videos about ways to bring joy in life, turn our life around, better our relationships at work and home, the art of practicing gratitude tops the list. I once heard a podcast on topic of finding our dream job. The first technique told to us in the podcast was to “be grateful for the job we presently have and try to enjoy it”. This sounded absurd and made absolutely no sense to me. How do I enjoy the job I absolutely despised?

It took a long time to understand the power of being truly grateful for everything in life. Imagine a situation where you hate everything in your life. You can’t find a single thing to be happy or thankful about. Try to think of a person who doesn’t even know where the next morsel of his food will come from. We are a small part of this planet. No matter how hard you find your life at the moment, there will be someone who has it harder than you. Yet, they might find a better way to deal with their hardships.

There was a time when I wrote down 3 things I was grateful for in the morning and 3 things that I liked about the day before I went to bed. This was suggested to me by a counsellor at a time when I found every part of my life painfully difficult. At first this practice felt superficial. But I didn’t even realize how happy it made me feel within a matter of days. I quit this practice right after I felt better about my life. These practices ought to be made a habit. Our subconscious mind needs to be constantly reminded of our blessings in life so that it gives us the motivational boost when it’s necessary in life.

The ultimate goal of my life few years back was to be happy with every part of my life. I considered happiness a destination back then. Had I been grateful for every thing I had in life at that time, happiness would have been a journey instead of an unachievable dream. You can always turn around every situation if you think of reasons about how it could have been much worse. To be grateful for our life and everything in life is the best manner of loving ourselves and finding joy in the mundane and basic things in life. After all, life is not as bad as we think!

My ideal daily routine

#72/100

“Successful people aren’t born that way. They become successful by establishing the habit of doing things unsuccessful people don’t like to do.”

―William Makepeace Thackeray

I was going to talk about my dream life today but thought that’s too vague a topic to discuss. For some people, their dream life would be to own a mansion and live like a princess for the rest of my life (people like me!). Let me narrow my thought process to a daily routine, the ideal one. What do you absolutely need to do in a day to have a feeling of fulfilment at the end of it? Have you been struggling to implement certain habits in your routine that’s sure to benefit you in the long run? I sure have. What makes you struggle with these habits and you end up delaying it every single day? In my case, the regret of not following a good routine piles up every single day and ends up frustrating me one fine day to the point of absolute resentment towards my lack of discipline.

Since we have established, motivation does little to achieve our goals. Pushing ourselves to have disciplined life ensures a happy life, fulfillment of goals (short and long term) and increased self esteem. These sound great, yet I’m unable to be consistent with my routine, what should I do? Try to recollect the first time you tried to imbibe a new habit into your life. The first few days are a struggle, once we get past the first month, our body reacts to the activity on an auto pilot mode. Once we reach that stage, absence of that activity in our routine makes us feel incomplete.

Although I’ve read many articles on the exact number of days to create a new habit. As per research it’s 21 days. However, I’ve quit many activities even after consistently following it for 21 days. My exercise schedule was set after a month. Blogging daily also became a part of my routine after a month. I guess, a month works best for me.

Now comes the struggle part. The first month is filled with doubts, confusion and irritation. After few days, we really begin to question ourselves if we actually need to put ourselves through so much trouble to stick to a routine. This is then time we need to distract our selves, use positive self talk, use any/all tricks in the book to continue the routine next day. What really works for me is to take each day as it comes. The big goal looks humungous when we are struggling to follow it every day. We need to take each day as it comes and just try to stick to completing the schedule set for the day.

I wish to achieve the below long term goals in life :-

• Early riser
• Reader
• Best shape of my life (Mentally and physically)
• Knowledgeable
• Happy with my job

I intend to stick to a routine for the next 30 days to make powerful habit beneficial in achieving the above long term goals. I’ll see you at the end of 30 days to discuss my experience and outcome of this routine.