Chasing growth

I’ve had a long hiatus from blogging. The reason I couldn’t post regularly anymore is because I sensed a feeling of stagnancy in my writing. I felt that I was writing about the same stuff, time and again and had nothing new to offer to this community. The break was needed and a lot of things happened in my life during this period of 4 odd months that I was away from word press, with the exception of my monthly recaps. I feel much better now, mentally and I consider that a huge plus considering my frame of mind in the last 4 months.

My initial purpose of starting this blog was to write about my thoughts and feelings freely here and gain some mental clarity in the process. Today, I’ve come back here to do the same thing. I’ve had a nagging thought going on in my head for a long time now and I desperately wanted to stop pondering over it. I tried drafting this post multiple times in the last 2 weeks but just wasn’t able to get my thoughts together. It’s Sunday today and I have all the time in the world to complete this post and bring a closure to my thought process on this topic.

Let me start with a question. How close are you with your childhood friends now? I guess this question is relevant to the people who have crossed the major milestones in their lives (school > college > job > marriage). As we grow older and shoulder more responsibilities in life, our priorities changes at times and we aren’t able to sustain the same level of connection with our friends in the same manner as during our teenage or young adulthood days. Some may accept this change quickly and move on with their lives. Others may wait endlessly for things to revert back to good old days and refuse to come out of their comfort zone. The sooner we realize that each and every person we know is capable of change, sometimes into a completely different version of them that we no longer connect to, the better it is for us to prioritize our own growth.

For the longest time, I was upset and hurt at these people who left without a trace, who went from talking about every random thing in the world everyday to finding it difficult to hold a conversation, who only contacted me only when they needed to get some information or work done, whose thought process or ideologies did not resonate with me anymore. There were times when I could see my close friends in pain and agony because of their mindset and negative beliefs and I felt absolutely helpless as my words or actions were of no help to them. It made me feel incapable of providing support, emotionally drained and mentally exhausted. I blamed myself for not being a good friend, not being there for my closed ones when they needed me the most, not being able to help them out of their misery. This also took a toll on my mental health as I felt guilty of not being a good friend or even a helpful human being and I blamed myself for leaving such people in distress to concentrate on my own well being.

However, in the past couple of months I’ve realized that you don’t need to change your core nature, your beliefs in the pretext of helping others. The ones who seek help, will figure out a way of dealing with their troubles (if you no longer serve the purpose) and connect with those who make them feel better in their own right. You shouldn’t blame or bash yourself for not being the one helping them or be upset with them for reaching out to others for support. While they are away figuring out their lives, it’s imperative that you concentrate on your own and make sure that you make yourself a priority.

We spend most of our life in our head, amidst our thoughts. Naturally, we need to ensure that our mind is the most positive and encouraging place to be. Feed the thoughts that foster your growth, keep the negative thoughts at bay, nourish them by being grateful towards our existence and thankful for all the opportunities that have led to our growth in life. There is no one way to lead a happy life but we can figure out the things that definitely don’t add value to it.

Recently I saw an amazing keynote speech by Hal Elrod, #1 international bestselling author of The Miracle Morning. He discussed an amazing rule that he swears by to keep his emotions in check.

He calls it the 5- minute rule.

According to it, when things go wrong, it’s okay to be completely negative–but not for more than five minutes. With this rule, Elrod learned to set a timer, moan, complain, whine, and express every negative emotion he liked during a period of five minutes, and then took a deep breath to say three remarkably powerful words:

Can’t Change It.

“It’s simply an acknowledgement that I can’t change what’s already happened, so there’s no value in wishing it were different,” he explains.

With this, I’ll stop thinking about ways to change the external factors in my life or regret my past actions. I’ll work on taking complete responsibility of my life and make sure to do everything to improve it’s quality. It makes no sense to blame our circumstances for everything that goes wrong as it doesn’t provide any solution or help us with the way forward.

Accept it, own it and hustle harder.

8 thoughts on “Chasing growth

  1. What a wonderful post to welcome yourself back! I like that 5 minute rule. It makes an allowance for expressing and accepting those negative emotions/thoughts but puts a limit on it. Learning to first accept what is paramount to personal growth. Wishing you well πŸ™

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much AP2..! I was anxious after posting this article as I haven’t done this in a while. Your comment is like a ray of sunshine to me at this moment. I’m trying to live by the 5 minute rule, it seems difficult but is extremely practical at the same time. Chasing only learning and growth from this moment on wards. Best wishes to you too!!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Call or message your friends, they don’t reply. Thinking that they might be busy, I do not call or message more than 2-3 times.

    Recently, friends created a Whatsapp group that seems irritating. There are already 6 to 8 college official groups. I also provide office updates to my mother.

    I have learnt to share since childhood. So, I focus on an initiative, beneficial to everyone.

    Sometimes, I lose control over my thoughts, fearing I might not able to accomplish this single dream of mine.

    I have some solutions to my current situation:

    1. Attending online classes mindfully. Prepare notes and invite classmates to discuss important topics.

    2. Setting a Monday morning schedule for publishing a post. I enjoying crafting a detailed post. Also, I will try to interact with my blog audience on social media.

    Finally, I can discuss important topics with serious people.

    3. I have left navodaya 2 years ago. It was easy there to follow a study routine. I need to gain some weight to gain power. (

    I’m going to re-apply the navodaya schedule with little changes. It’s easy to follow a schedule that you are following for 7 years.

    4. I’m preparing my mindset, learning basic skills, for the job I will be joining. Civil services, of course.

    5. I have started seeing things in defender mode. For example, why do blogs fail? So, I’ll cover details about it. Or How to travel around the world with no money. ( there is a video on YouTube. You should watch it.)

    There are few ideas I have to implement within two months. However, I’m missing my school life.

    Gonna talk to them. (Friends. You have mentioned in your post.) πŸ€πŸ’πŸ’

    Liked by 1 person

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