Monthly recap : August 2021

I tried my level best to focus on recovery and to get back on track this month, Quiet happy with my progress.

Mental health

• Meditated for 26/31 days.
• Journaled/documented my day for 0/31 days
• Practiced gratitude journaling for 0/31 days.

Personal Growth

This section is for a new skill or talent that I’ve acquired in this month, tried a new activity or thing that has pushed me out of my comfort zone.

• I got a promotion in office to a new designation. I also gave 1 very exciting job interview this month that helped push me out of my comfort zone. I tried new things at work and rejoined office after my covid quarantine in a renewed manner. My main focus is on developing a growth mindset in life. This mindset gives me confidence to confront challenges and work consistently harder to become the best version of myself.

Workouts

• Zero outdoor/indoor runs
• Worked out for 20/31 days

Education

• Zero progress with CFA level 1 curriculum. Exam has been deferred to February 15 2022. I’ve ordered books for the new curriculum and I’m all set to give my best for this exam.
• Zero online courses completed in August.

Entertainment

• Completed reading 3 books (my highest record till date) and halfway through 4th book. The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod, Mindset by Carol Dweck and Atomic Habits by James Clear. It’s safe to say that these 3 books have helped me transform my life in more ways than one. They have redirected the course of my life and made me change my thought patterns. I would especially like to give biggest credit to the book “Mindset”. I try to take all decisions in my life based on the philosophies shared in this book. It has made me confident to face challenges head on and not be afraid of making mistakes in life.
• Halfway through Scam 1992 which is a web series based on the Indian stock and money market scam in 1992. I not only found it extremely entertaining but it is knowledgeable as well.

It’s been 3 years that I’ve felt stuck in my professional life but haven’t particularly made any efforts to try new things at work. I’ve always blamed my external environment for everything that was wrong with my career. It came as a huge shock to me when it finally dawned to me that I possessed all the aspects of a “fixed mindset” at work. I was scared of challenges, tend to believe that skill/talent is a limited resource and didn’t trust myself to do better than this. The book “MINDSET” by Carol Dweck opened up my mind to new possibilities and I’m excited to try each one of them.

To new beginnings and growth mindset!

Chasing growth

I’ve had a long hiatus from blogging. The reason I couldn’t post regularly anymore is because I sensed a feeling of stagnancy in my writing. I felt that I was writing about the same stuff, time and again and had nothing new to offer to this community. The break was needed and a lot of things happened in my life during this period of 4 odd months that I was away from word press, with the exception of my monthly recaps. I feel much better now, mentally and I consider that a huge plus considering my frame of mind in the last 4 months.

My initial purpose of starting this blog was to write about my thoughts and feelings freely here and gain some mental clarity in the process. Today, I’ve come back here to do the same thing. I’ve had a nagging thought going on in my head for a long time now and I desperately wanted to stop pondering over it. I tried drafting this post multiple times in the last 2 weeks but just wasn’t able to get my thoughts together. It’s Sunday today and I have all the time in the world to complete this post and bring a closure to my thought process on this topic.

Let me start with a question. How close are you with your childhood friends now? I guess this question is relevant to the people who have crossed the major milestones in their lives (school > college > job > marriage). As we grow older and shoulder more responsibilities in life, our priorities changes at times and we aren’t able to sustain the same level of connection with our friends in the same manner as during our teenage or young adulthood days. Some may accept this change quickly and move on with their lives. Others may wait endlessly for things to revert back to good old days and refuse to come out of their comfort zone. The sooner we realize that each and every person we know is capable of change, sometimes into a completely different version of them that we no longer connect to, the better it is for us to prioritize our own growth.

For the longest time, I was upset and hurt at these people who left without a trace, who went from talking about every random thing in the world everyday to finding it difficult to hold a conversation, who only contacted me only when they needed to get some information or work done, whose thought process or ideologies did not resonate with me anymore. There were times when I could see my close friends in pain and agony because of their mindset and negative beliefs and I felt absolutely helpless as my words or actions were of no help to them. It made me feel incapable of providing support, emotionally drained and mentally exhausted. I blamed myself for not being a good friend, not being there for my closed ones when they needed me the most, not being able to help them out of their misery. This also took a toll on my mental health as I felt guilty of not being a good friend or even a helpful human being and I blamed myself for leaving such people in distress to concentrate on my own well being.

However, in the past couple of months I’ve realized that you don’t need to change your core nature, your beliefs in the pretext of helping others. The ones who seek help, will figure out a way of dealing with their troubles (if you no longer serve the purpose) and connect with those who make them feel better in their own right. You shouldn’t blame or bash yourself for not being the one helping them or be upset with them for reaching out to others for support. While they are away figuring out their lives, it’s imperative that you concentrate on your own and make sure that you make yourself a priority.

We spend most of our life in our head, amidst our thoughts. Naturally, we need to ensure that our mind is the most positive and encouraging place to be. Feed the thoughts that foster your growth, keep the negative thoughts at bay, nourish them by being grateful towards our existence and thankful for all the opportunities that have led to our growth in life. There is no one way to lead a happy life but we can figure out the things that definitely don’t add value to it.

Recently I saw an amazing keynote speech by Hal Elrod, #1 international bestselling author of The Miracle Morning. He discussed an amazing rule that he swears by to keep his emotions in check.

He calls it the 5- minute rule.

According to it, when things go wrong, it’s okay to be completely negative–but not for more than five minutes. With this rule, Elrod learned to set a timer, moan, complain, whine, and express every negative emotion he liked during a period of five minutes, and then took a deep breath to say three remarkably powerful words:

Can’t Change It.

“It’s simply an acknowledgement that I can’t change what’s already happened, so there’s no value in wishing it were different,” he explains.

With this, I’ll stop thinking about ways to change the external factors in my life or regret my past actions. I’ll work on taking complete responsibility of my life and make sure to do everything to improve it’s quality. It makes no sense to blame our circumstances for everything that goes wrong as it doesn’t provide any solution or help us with the way forward.

Accept it, own it and hustle harder.

Monthly recap : June 2021

I totally wanted to skip this month’s recap. June has been my worst month in terms of productivity. I don’t know how I managed to spend an entire month in utter confusion and anxiety. I managed to skip all my usual self care activities (meditation, workouts and journaling) for most part of this month. I did have a busy work schedule during the last week of June but that doesn’t explain my unproductive streak for the first 3 weeks. I think I needed a break from my usual routine, I wasn’t able to focus or concentrate on the good parts of my life. I took time to heal and it worked to an extent. I won’t say I’m completely back to my usual self but I don’t feel that anxious and confused anymore. I consider that a huge win.

Mental health

• Meditated for 3/30 days.
• Journaled/documented my day for 0 days.
• Practiced gratitude journaling for 0 days.

Personal Growth

This section is for a new skill or talent that I’ve acquired in this month, tried a new activity or thing that has pushed me out of my comfort zone.

• I don’t recollect doing anything special or different this month

Workouts

• Zero outdoor/indoor runs
• Worked out for 8/30 days

Education

• Zero progress with CFA level 1 curriculum.
• Zero online courses completed in June

Entertainment

• Completed reading 0 books (More than halfway through 3 books.)
• No movies/web series

Looking back at my progress this month, I could have easily skipped posting this. But the book I’m reading currently has helped change my perspective at looking things. The book goes by the name “Mindset” by renowned psychologist “Carol Dweck”. The book speaks about two different kind of mindsets that people have “Fixed and Growth”.

I wish to try new things, work hard on myself, focus on learning and growth, not let my mistakes and failure define me, take on new challenges and experience life. That will be my focus in July. Let’s see how this month treats me.

Thankful, Grateful

Day 29/30

And it’s almost time to end the April writing challenge. I have one more day to go but that’s fixed for my monthly recap so this is final write up. April is my most favorite month of the year as it’s my birth month. I started off 2021 with immense positivity and hope and promised to carry it throughout the year. This month really tested my patience and anxiety levels. I’m trying to fight it with whatever means I can. This month has been my least productive month of all. You might think of me as someone who obsesses over productivity and progress all the time. I don’t know why I’m wired this way, being productive gives a huge boost to my energy levels and instantly makes me happy.

I’ve written for 29 days in row and am really grateful for all the experiences, thoughts, emotions I had while writing my daily posts throughout this month. It has been a long month and I have spent most time of this month slacking. I’d still not bash myself for it. It’s been a tough month mentally and I’m taking my own sweet time to come to terms with it. I do want to get past this slump soon and get back on track. Because having a powerful routine and following it to the tee truly makes me happy. That’s the fact of my life and I need to embrace it.

Thankful for all my blogger friends who took time out to read and comment on my posts. It means a LOT. It encouraged me to post on days when I absolutely didn’t want to. You helped me keep going and now I have a month long blogging streak to my credit. This feels incredible.

One day left in April that I need to utilize well to prepare for a new month and all my goals attached to it. Let’s make the best of it.

A ray of hope

“Someday all you will have to light your way will be a single ray of hope and that will be enough.”

–Kobi Yamada

Day 19/30

Something really good happened today. I can’t give details yet as the process hasn’t been completed yet. I don’t know the outcome yet. I gave my best but I know I was lacking in a lot of different aspects. Honestly, this has been my best experience till date for this process which I have always dreaded. I’m glad I was able to experience it. I really hope and pray that the outcome of this process is positive. For once I took on a challenge thinking of it as a win or learn opportunity and it honestly felt great. I’m really grateful that I got this opportunity. I will share details once the outcome is evident.

On a completely different note, have you ever encountered something that perfectly fits wish? For example, you’ve been waiting to have a certain dish which you have only fantasied about, dreamed of trying it, scrolled through videos of people enjoying the dish and craved to try it one fine day. Imagine your utter disappointment when you finally get a chance to try that dish and realize that it doesn’t taste the way you imagined it to be. You had great hopes of having the experience of a lifetime and you get a BIG FAT DISAPPOINTMENT in return. It’s physically painful. This is just a metaphor for the experience I’ve had recently. I had great hopes from a certain something, the description matched my dream wish list to the tee, everything seemed perfect till I “tried the dish“. Argh, what a big disappointment. I feel so sad that my expectation of having the experience of a lifetime was shattered, just like that! I’m exasperated!

To bring some cheer and hope to my and your life, let me share this amazing thought that I came across recently. It sure did help me feel a lot more powerful and in control of my life. I hope it helps you too. This applies to either gender.

Making healthier choices

“We were meant to grow. When we don’t grow, we seek diversions–some harmless (if unproductive), others destructive–to fill the emptiness.”

–Jim Clemmer

Day 15/30

I truly believe we always have two choices while taking any decision in our life, a right one and an easier one. The easier one gives immediate reward which is short term, the right one requires hard work but gives fulfilment and the reward is long term. Which option do you choose in most of your decisions in life?

Well, I have mostly picked up the easier option. Well, who doesn’t like an instant reward? That’s what we all crave right? But true happiness and fulfilment lies in making the harder choice.

Choose your hard! We always pick one that gives instant gratification. However, picking the difficult one makes sure that the reward is worthwhile and long lasting. Choose your hard!

Given-Taken

“When two givers indulge in a connection, it’s like magic. It’s alchemy. I water you, you water me, we never drain each other, we just grow.”

-Anonymous

Day 8/30

Life would have been so much better had the world be filled with givers. However, that’s not the case in our world. Most people are takers and that’s the main point of contention in many relationships. There are many people who want everyone’s attention, they want to be the center of the Universe, they want people to care for them, guide them, notice them, help them and in return they’ll still complain that the other person is not doing enough. Can you notice the dynamics of a classic giver-taker relationship here?

Givers are self sufficient, they can handle their emotions and needs well on their own. They have expectations from takers too. But the takers are so immersed in their own life that givers learn to take care of themselves. However, takers end up being extremely dependent on givers for all of their emotional needs. The worst part is that no matter how much the giver gives, takers are never satisfied. They’ll always find faults and shortcomings in the taker’s efforts to keep them happy.

The takers are borderline selfish (some don’t even realize it), yet givers do their best to keep them happy. But it comes at a cost. Initially, givers do everything out of love and care for takers. But there comes a tipping point in every relationship (sooner or later) when the givers realize the importance of their own expectations and happiness too. And once the tipping point is breached, givers stop caring about the takers. From this point onwards, givers only try to discharge their responsibility without feeling any love or care for the takers.

If you are a giver in any relationship, make the other person understand your expectations and put yourself first. Only when your cup is full that you can help others. Do everything to make sure that your cup is overflowing with love and care for others so that you don’t burn out doing things for others without getting anything in return.

If you are a taker in any relationship, be conscious of your actions and make time to understand your givers expectations as well. A relationship succeeds only when both parties are happy and fulfilled.

The relationship in question can be anything, husband-wife, siblings, parent-children. Take efforts for people around you and they’ll always remember (sometimes give back) the gesture. Spread happiness and kindness around.

A second chance

“Life is all about second chances. Not in every single aspect, of course, but we’re often granted a “re-do” without even realizing it.”

-Anonymous

Day 4/30

I got a message from my boss today saying that we need to start working from home again for 50% of workdays, effective immediately. The covid-19 cases have been on a constant rise in our state since the past few weeks. Knowing my organization, I had zero expectation from them to take any action towards their employees safety. However, the situation has turned far too dangerous now for our organization to remain indifferent. Also our state government has enforced strict restrictions starting tomorrow which forced our organization to fall back to the work from home routine once again.

Once I start working from home again, I will have great of time on hand to pursue my other passions such as reading, blogging, working out, journaling, completing online courses and other activities for overall personal development. I really didn’t want to play the victim card and blame lack of time for my laziness to pursue my other hobbies. However, work from home will effectively give me more than 5 hrs a day that I can spend on improving my overall life (if utilized well). When we were asked to come back to office fulltime in January this year, I never thought I’ll ever get the chance again to work from home. I had a great time last year working from home and staying away from my office (which makes me feel trapped) as long as possible. My prayers, wishes, cries have been answered from the Universe in the form of work from home for at least half of this month. I believe this is a golden opportunity for me to do everything that I couldn’t do this year due to lack of time (classic excuse!). Despite my hectic weekday office routine, I did try to workout, meditate and read books as much as possible however the situation is way different when you are at home.

There are a 100 things on my mind that’ll help me make effective use of all the time I’ll have on hand once I start working from home. I can sense this is a golden sign from the Universe saying that my life is about to change, FOR THE BETTER! I want to believe in this and I do BELEIVE IN IT. I trust myself to not give up EVER and keep doing my absolute BEST in life, in everything I do. In return, the Universe will reciprocate by giving me the life of my dreams. A life where happiness is abundant and every other experience helps you cope up better and learn new things.

Looking forward to the second chance that Universe has given me.

Yesterday, I had thought to embark on the most challenging journey of my life. Close to 2 years back, fitness and lifestyle influencer Cassey Ho went on a 90 day journey to get into the BEST shape of her life, PHYSICALLY and MENTALLY. More than a physical change, I really wish to make a huge change to my lifestyle and habits impacting my mental health. My current thought process makes me feel drained and unmotivated 99% of time. I wish to CHANGE this for the better. My goal is to feel STRONG, ENERGETIC, FOCUSSED and MOTIVATED (physically and mentally) for most part of my life. And when I do end up feeling BLAH (because that’s inevitable), I wish to create a strong routine that helps me bounce back to my focused self in no time. Our time on this planet is limited and I wish to make full use of it. I do not wish to waste it by feeling sad most part of my life. This has got to change.

Looking forward to a brand new week and some big changes in my lifestyle.

More on my “Lifestyle change Journey” tomorrow.

Monthly recap : March 2021

This month went by in a breeze. I went on a vacation to Bangalore for 10 days this month and honestly had the time of my life. I wish there was a way to make my entire life as happy as I was on my vacation. It felt surreal really! I ate without any guilt, didn’t workout or meditate for most part of this trip, yet was super happy throughout. So my progress this month has been abysmal. I’m planning to make up for it in April. It’s also my birthday month. Though I have 0 excitement for my birthday, I plan to be as productive as I can this month. The motto for this month is “Small progress is still progress“. I will be consistently working on improving myself each and every day this month. One month makes a hell lot of difference. I realized that during my “Fitness Queen” practice session. Also, I am planning to blog everyday this month. I really can’t think of any other way to make this month special.

Mental health

• Meditated for 20/31 days. I was very disciplined right till the day I left for my vacation. I stopped everything for almost 10 days after that. It was difficult to get back on track after coming back from vacation. When I rejoined office I had to start my daily routine again to cope up with office stress.
• Journaled/documented my day for 10/31 days. I’ve been terrible at this. Maybe that’s why I have limited memories of how I spent this month and don’t feel productive at all.
• Practiced gratitude journaling for 10/31 days. As I said, progress has not been up to the mark.

Goals for April:- 20 min meditation everyday (maintain my streak on headspace app), practice journaling and gratitude journaling everyday. (Same as last month)

Personal Growth

This section is for a new skill or talent that I’ve acquired in this month, tried a new activity or thing that has pushed me out of my comfort zone.

• I went on a 10 day trip to Bangalore/Mysore. Although this isn’t a new skill or talent, I want to mention it as I came back a rejuvenated and changed person after this trip. My happiness grew multifold on this trip. I have been feeling unmotivated and lethargic ever since. I plan to change that in April.

Goal for April:- Cross 500 followers on my blog before my birthday on 13th April. Run 13 kms on 13th April.

Workouts

I had packed my running shoes and attire with the intention to run in Bangalore. Though I am disappointed that I couldn’t make it a reality, I did get some workouts done on my trip.

• 4 long runs in this month. Longest distance covered : 10 kms
• HIIT workouts twice a week during the weekdays (ranging from 20 to 30 mins). Managed to complete 3 workouts of 40-50 mins during my trip.

Goal for April:- Lose the vacation weight (3 kgs), skip 800 rounds at a stretch, 10 pushups in proper form

Education

• Zero progress with CFA level 1 curriculum. Took an extended break as my exams have been deferred to July 2021
• Zero online courses completed in March

Goal for April:- Complete first reading of pending 2 subjects of CFA and 2 online courses (at least 1 Korean language course)

Entertainment

• Completed reading 2 books Start with Why by Simon Sinek and The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks 
• Completed 1 movie The Cat returns (English dubbed) 

Goal for April:- Read 4 books, watch 4 movies, 1 K-drama and 1 documentary

April, let’s get it!

Fitness Queen 2021

“If it doesn’t challenge you it doesn’t change you.”

-Fred Devito

In the last week of January, my running group mentor posted about an event called “Fitness Queen” in our group chat. I was quiet intrigued by the details of the event as this is the first time an event like this was supposed to take place in our town. Usually, my first reaction to any challenge is that of anxiety and fear. I am amongst the kind who dive headfirst into any new challenges and learn with the flow. I like to be prepared with everything I do in life. But this challenge was different. I have been working out for over 2 years now and this event was a perfect way to test my level of fitness. I signed up for it right away!

My running group mentor motivated all the women in our group to participate in this event. Her motive was to push us to participate and give our best for the event. She gave us the confidence to aim for a win and kept practice sessions to help us prepare for the event.

We had been given a wide range of exercise/workout types to prepare starting from basic ones such as jumping jacks, skipping, squats, crunches, burpees to difficult ones like pull ups, chin ups and pushups. When I saw the list, I was confident about most of the excercises except pushups, pull ups and chin ups. My arms had zero strenght when it comes to performing a push up and I have been struggling with it ever since I started working out.

The first training session with my running group was kept in the first week of February. It consisted mostly of cardio based activities which I’m comfortable with. My mentor then asked us to try push-ups amd I failed miserably. I couldn’t even perform 1 push-up. I was terribly upset and decided to work on my push up daily from that day onwards. I started with wall pushups and did it daily for over a week till I could safely perform an incline pushup. After a week, I still stumbled while performing a full push up! It was totally demotivating but I decided to keep going. I was happy with my improvement in a week and continued with my practice. The second training sessions consisted of skipping (which I am good at), yoga asanas and ladder drill. I was quiet comfortable with these but what came next shattered my confidence! We were asked to perform push ups (I could do 13 here with a bad posture though!). My incredible group members inspired me beyond measure by performing more than 25 perfect pushups! I was spellbound, I couldn’t believe what I saw! These super humans (who are married, with kids, who handle way too many responsibilies than me!) were INCREDIBLE at push ups! It doesn’t end here! We were asked to do planks next where I gave up afterb 2.20 mins (after a week’s practice!). Some of my superwomen, running group friends pushed through till 5 mins. That day I reaslied I have a LONG way to go in my fitness journey and was extremely motivated to practice harder thereon.

With a month’s practice, I saw good progress in below activities.

Skipping : From 150 skips o 570 skips at one go

Plank : From 1 min to my personal best record of 4 mins

Pushups : From zero to 20 in average form

27th February 2020 (Event day)

The event consisted of 2 rounds, prelimnary and final. I was decent in most of the activities which earned me good points (BMI, Hip to waist ratio, Forward Bend, Squats (47 in one minute), crunches (37 in one minute), shuttle run and sprint). I stumbled in Vrukshasan and lost 20 marks (Honestly, could have performed better in this one, I was negligent!).

I almost lost hope of advancing to the finals as everyone else had done a great job at Vrukshasan. From 17 participants, only 7 were selected to the finals. When they called out the name of finalists, my name didn’t come up in the first 6 slots. I was sad but still prayed to the Universe to grant me this one wish. I wanted to be in the finals! The 7th name was called out and as luck would have it, it was me! The Universe heard me out!

The final round was a circuit drill with started with a 10 step jumps, 1 round of ladder jumps, 10 jumping jacks, shuttle run to 4 different points, flipping a 10-20 kg tyre over a 20 metre stretch, duck jumps over a 20 metre stretch and finally ending with 10 squats!! (Phew!!) The top 3 quickest contestants would be declared as Winner, 1st and 2nd Runner’s up respectively.

I was totally drained after performing the circuit, I overestimated my strengh and underestimated the weight of the tyre. Everyone performed exceptionally well and I was back at my prayers to the Universe to help me win the beautiful trophy!

When the winners of my age category were announced, I waited with bated breath.

The Universe heard me out once again and I was placed 3rd (2nd Runner’s up) in my age category. I was estatic and absolutely delirious on winning the trophy (by now you would have come to know about my obsession with medals, trophies, any accolades for that matter!)

I came back from the event with memories that would last me a lifetime and being extremely happy with my decision to participate in it. I would have lost a great opportunity to challenge myself, work on my shortcomings, understand where I stand amongst my peers and last but not the least, have a great time had I done otherwise!

Moral of the story : Never shy away from trying. There’s nothing to lose, we either WIN or LEARN!