Monthly recap : July 2021

I don’t have much to share in this month’s recap as well. My mom was diagnosed with covid on 13th July and subsequently on 17th July, the rest of the family (including me) tested positive. I didn’t feel like doing any of the self care activities during this time. However, in the hindsight, I truly believe that spending some time on self care each day could have helped me cope up with this demanding phase of life in a much better manner. Lesson learnt.

Mental health

  • Meditated for 1/31 days.
  • Journaled/documented my day for days.
  • Practiced gratitude journaling for 0 days.

Personal Growth

This section is for a new skill or talent that I’ve acquired in this month, tried a new activity or thing that has pushed me out of my comfort zone.

  • I handled the household responsibilities and took care of my mom as she was diagnosed with covid a week before us. Although it isn’t a talent or a skill to be talked about, I’m glad I was able to pull through this mentally exhausting phase.

Workouts

  • Zero outdoor/indoor runs
  • Worked out for 4/31 days

Education

  • Zero progress with CFA level 1 curriculum. Exam has been deferred to March 2022.
  • Zero online courses completed in July

Entertainment

  • Completed reading 1 book – Mint your money by Pranjal Kamra. It’s an amazing read especially for the ones who want to understand the basics and begin their financial planning journey. (More than halfway through 2 books.)
  • I watched the season 2 of Never Have I Ever and absolutely loved it. It distracted me from all that was going on at home when we were recovering from covid. A must watch!
  • Also breezed through Mimi on Netflix. Pretty mediocre, can be skipped.

Ending on a positive note and hoping that I can start afresh and accomplish the goals that I set for August.

The Monday syndrome

Source : Pinterest

#52/100

Ah, my hate for Mondays knows no limits. Ever since I’ve started working in an office, there hasn’t been a single Monday I’ve been elated about. Sunday evenings always brings a sense of gloom in me. I go through an existential crisis every week in anticipation of each Monday. I wasn’t like this during my school days. I don’t remember being sad with the thought of going to school ever. Yes, end of summer vacations did make upset about losing all the free time to do absolutely nothing. But the disappointment in me before the start of each work week is beyond measure.

In my first ever interview for a job, I was asked “Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years?”. I might have answered in the most dumb manner possible as I was clueless at that point but I did mention that I want to be passionate about the work I do, whatever it is. I never had any long term work related goals back then, I don’t have them now. Getting a job and earning money were one of those things that I had to do owing to the financial condition of my family. I wonder how I would have turned out had there been no financial constraints or responsibility on me to earn for the family.

Well, coming back to Mondays, I’m trying to deal with it better. I try to find happiness in small stuff throughout the week than wait for the weekend to make me happy. Yet, it gets to me sometimes. My work isn’t fulfilling, it defies my personality. Maybe because I have this inherent feeling that all the work that I put in is gone into fulfilling someone else’s dreams. I feel limited in my thoughts and ideas. I have to behave in a certain manner, talk in a certain way, work in a fixed patter, there’s no individuality in the work that I do and that just irks me.

I’m trying hard to derive happiness and fulfillment from it. I’m trying hard to be my best, do my best in every situation that I come across. In return, can I dream of experiencing zero Monday morning blues ever?. I wish to have Sunday evenings where I look forward to the week ahead, plan for the stuff to be accomplished during the week, wait excitedly for Mondays to arrive so that I can work on my projects. I can be completely delusional here but a girl can dream. I’m still in the process of figuring out myself. I hope one day I can turn into the person I can be proud of. Someone who knows themselves inside out, is aware of things that connects with their personality and works for a life that consists of everything that makes them happy and fulfilled. Till then, I’ll go back to understanding myself a little better each day.

Reset, restart, refocus

Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it

-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

#8/100

I’m always excited for every new beginning, be it a new month, new year or even a new book for that matter. During my school days, the start of every new term thrilled me to bits. New term meant starting afresh, new books, new classes, new people, basically turning over a new leaf. All past mistakes, hiccups, misfortune takes a back seat and there’s renewed hope for the future.

You get innumerous opportunities to start afresh in your life. However, I tend to leave things unfinished when they don’t go as per plan. I am a self confessed perfectionist. Please don’t confuse a perfectionist as to someone who ‘likes‘ to be perfect. The dictionary meaning of a perfectionist is “a person who refuses to accept any standard short of perfection“. Do you think it’s a good thing to be a perfectionist? A perfectionist has an extremely low tolerance for any flaws whatsoever. Anything that falls short of their idea of perfection is thrown out of the window without being given a second chance. If we consider a simple example of studying for an exam, a perfectionist would want to go through the thickest book on the subject, study everything thoroughly, take an insanely long amount to cover everything. They either burn out completely by the mid of it leaving things unfinished or end up doing a great job at it if they manage to complete it. Things gradually changed once I became more at peace with my natural self, complete with my imperfections and shortcomings. It was a slow, organic process of self introspection and discovery that took a long time to manifest into the person that I currently am. I also became less concerned with the thoughts and comments of people who were critical of my journey of self growth. I realized their judgments stemmed from their own sense of insecurity and didn’t positively impact my life.

New beginnings are great, they give everyone a fresh new start, a fresh new hope. Our existence and this world is built on hope, hope for a better future. That’s the reason people are exhilarated by the end of a year and celebrate it joyously. Every new resolution, timetable, purchase, course is scheduled at the beginning of a new day/week/month/year. Embracing change requires a great deal of self motivation and the lure of a fresh start somehow instills a sense of hope in people.

I always used to wait for a new month to schedule all my new habits. However, a year and a half ago, I embarked on my weight loss journey in the middle of a week on an impulse and that has been one of the best decisions of my life. Not only did I stuck through my resolve till I reached my desired weight, I was consistent throughout. So what was different this time? My intense desire to accomplish my goal. I just couldn’t wait for a new week or month to embark on the journey I was so passionate about. I realized that all these years, I just hid behind the facade of a “fresh start” to stay cooped up in my comfort zone. We just need to keep our mind focused on the journey, bring us back to the process when the mind starts seeking results, keep the mind busy and happy by giving it interim rewards, read, live and breath positive affirmations to keep the hope held high for the future. Since I speak from my personal experience of accomplishing a goal that I once believed was impossible for me, faith and hope can work wonders in your life. Always find ways to reinstate your hope and your life will flourish.