Pat your back

“It takes strength to be proud of yourself and to accept yourself when you know that you have something out of the ordinary about you.”

–Abigail Tarttelin

Day 23/30

I gave a job interview today and it was brutal. The interviewer asked me some really tricky technical questions which I’m sure I gave inadequate answers to. In a normal scenario, I would have been really tough on myself, felt really embarrassed and indulged in negative self talk till I would break down.

Not today.

I feel proud of myself for attempting to give this interview while fighting my fears and anxiety about it. I feel proud of myself for trying very hard and giving my utmost best throughout the difficult session. I feel proud of myself for taking action and doing things that scare me the most.

I’m always hard on myself but I don’t want to do that this time. I absolutely cannot change the past. This interview has widened my thinking capability and has been an incredible learning experience. That certainly can’t be counted as a loss.

Instead of being your worst enemy, try and become your best friend today. The outcome of any situation in life cannot be predicted but you can align your thoughts to be more helpful and positive. And I’m training my mind to do just that. To see the good in every situation and take everything as a learning experience.

Be proud of yourself and pat your back, for a change!

A ray of hope

“Someday all you will have to light your way will be a single ray of hope and that will be enough.”

–Kobi Yamada

Day 19/30

Something really good happened today. I can’t give details yet as the process hasn’t been completed yet. I don’t know the outcome yet. I gave my best but I know I was lacking in a lot of different aspects. Honestly, this has been my best experience till date for this process which I have always dreaded. I’m glad I was able to experience it. I really hope and pray that the outcome of this process is positive. For once I took on a challenge thinking of it as a win or learn opportunity and it honestly felt great. I’m really grateful that I got this opportunity. I will share details once the outcome is evident.

On a completely different note, have you ever encountered something that perfectly fits wish? For example, you’ve been waiting to have a certain dish which you have only fantasied about, dreamed of trying it, scrolled through videos of people enjoying the dish and craved to try it one fine day. Imagine your utter disappointment when you finally get a chance to try that dish and realize that it doesn’t taste the way you imagined it to be. You had great hopes of having the experience of a lifetime and you get a BIG FAT DISAPPOINTMENT in return. It’s physically painful. This is just a metaphor for the experience I’ve had recently. I had great hopes from a certain something, the description matched my dream wish list to the tee, everything seemed perfect till I “tried the dish“. Argh, what a big disappointment. I feel so sad that my expectation of having the experience of a lifetime was shattered, just like that! I’m exasperated!

To bring some cheer and hope to my and your life, let me share this amazing thought that I came across recently. It sure did help me feel a lot more powerful and in control of my life. I hope it helps you too. This applies to either gender.

Deconstruct to reconstruct

“Every day, you reinvent yourself. You’re always in motion. But you decide every day: forward or backward.”

—James Altucher

Day 18/30

Sometimes you just burnout. Your daily routine doesn’t seem fruitful anymore. You get upset by the end of the day because of your procrastination on important tasks throughout the day. You feel lost, demotivated and desperately seek a fresh start. You write down a to-do list for next day, it consists of everything that you wish you would do but you’ve never attempted it even once in your whole life. Like waking up at 5 am (when your usual timing is 8 am), reading 50 pages of a book (usual count 0), workout for 30 mins (usual count 0) so on and so forth. You get the point. Things don’t exactly transpire the way you’d wish for the next day and thus begins the endless loop of self pity and unproductivity. How do you get out of it? Let me lay down small tips that might help!

• Deconstruct your day : Find out 3 key tasks from your daily routine that you’d wish to change. It can be very simple tasks like drinking 1 liter water or reading 10 pages of a book.

• Reconstruct it step by step : If you are habituated to have a bath in the evening, try having it in the morning the next day. Skip junk food for a day. Make it very simple and short and challenge yourself you attempt just these 3 tasks the next day. Since the tasks are simple, attempting them shouldn’t seem too difficult. Once you accomplish them, you’d have the confidence to increase the level of these targets the next day. Take each day as it comes. Don’t try to become wonderwoman the very next day!

• Convert your mind into a trainer : You know those taskmasters in the gym who set your goals, motivate you to achieve them every single day, envision your long term targets, keep a tab on your progress and make sure you succeed! You have an in house trainer that wouldn’t cost you a dime, YOUR MIND! I know this works since I’ve tried it before. Our mind has 2 voices, one always recommends the easy way out (the procrastinator), the other motivates you to chose the right path (the taskmaster). Try to concentrate on your mind’s chatter for a day. Your mind always gives you 2 choices. Your intuition always knows what’s right for that moment but there’s another voice which makes your procrastinate everything and choose the lazy route out. Force yourself to listen to the taskmaster at least 3 out of 5 times and you’ll be sorted.

That’s it for now. These are very simple and basic steps that has the power to change your lifestyle, slowly and steadily. A big change in our life might not take overnight but we can make sure to change our life, one brick at a time.

Action replay

“All it takes one song to bring back 1000 memories.”

-Anonymous

Day 9/30

While mindlessly scrolling through YouTube today, I stumbled upon an old song that I was addicted to as a kid. I played the song and it felt like I was transported back to my childhood days when I used to listen to that song on loop. Who needs a time machine to revisit your past when you have music? I relived every single memory I had of those times when I used to listen to this song, my thoughts, aspirations and dreams during those time and most importantly, my innocence. Before all the setbacks and failures, the roller coaster like ups and downs in life, I was a young kid beaming with POSITIVITY and HOPE for the future. I used to think and believe that I will achieve all my goals and get everything I ever dreamed of. After all, hope is all I had during those days.

I also experienced deep emotions. I used to smile, laugh and also cry a lot. Now I’ve turned into a zombie who rarely cries and can literally count on her fingers, the last time I experienced the feeling of exhilaration and excitement in life. Life was so different back then. I had envisioned my life in a much different manner as a kid. I’m grateful for all the opportunities and blessings in my life. But, I want to be hopeful again, in the same manner and passion as I was as a kid.

There were certain things that I thought I’ll experience for sure (especially after watching countless rom-coms) which still haven’t panned out in my life. There are many things that have happened in my life that I could never dream of, I’m extremely grateful to the Universe for bringing abundance in my life, in the form of food, financial stability and opportunities.

I am currently reading a book called “Flow” by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. If you’ve seen the Arabian Nights, you would know how Aladdin felt when Genie told him that he will grant him 3 wishes (anything that he could dream of). This is how I feel with this book in my hand. The tagline of Flow is “The classic work on how to achieve happiness“. That’s what I need, I want to be happy, in any circumstances. Even if I fumble or fall, I want to bounce back stronger.

In Csikszentmihalyi’s words, flow is “a state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter; the experience is so enjoyable that people will continue to do it even at great cost, for the sheer sake of doing it” (1990)

Now imagine if you know how to be in flow, always. You’ll have a much better quality of life and be HAPPY effortlessly. That’s what I seek. I plan to read this book over the weekend so that I can reset my life and start afresh. I want to completely get rid of the feeling of being STUCK in life and I trust this book to get me out of this dilemma.

Let’s do this.

Let’s manifest

“You manifest what you believe, not what you want.” 

-Sonia Ricotti

What do you do when you desperately want to achieve your wishes in life? You pray for it, talk about it to anyone and everyone you know or can think about, write it down and work day in and out towards it and hope that the Universe finds you worthy of granting your wishes. What if you’ve tried every trick in the book yet your wishes are far from getting fulfilled? You feel stuck, out of place and confused. That’s exactly how I feel at the moment. I feel so horribly stuck in life that it seems like a never ending quicksand.

I’m tired of feeling stuck in life and want it to change, DESPERATELY. My desire is to be FREE LIKE A BIRD and experience life in all it’s glory. Today morning, as I was fighting one of those many low phases where I feel drained and on the verge of giving up, the fighting spirit in me revolted and urged to me to try my best, again! So, I googled “How to manifest the life of your dreams?” and decided to do everything in my capacity to follow whatever steps the search results come up with. After going through quiet a few articles, I’ll write down the common points below for “our” easy reference.

• Set your intention right :- The Universe should be aware of exactly what we need for it to fulfill it. Our goals need to be crisp and clear. We can follow the (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time-Bound) method to list down our goals. For eg : I want to complete a 10 km run in 58 mins by 31st December 2021.
• Don’t resist, persist! :- We tend to have a lot of resistance in our mind when it comes to working on our goals. Anxiety, fear, sadness, procrastination, disbelief, doubts, regrets are all forms of resistance that pull us away from our goals. Find out things that have the ability to put you in a happy state of mind (in my case, meditation, workout, listening to music, blogging) and reach out to them whenever you get pulled by the “resistance” mindset. You can try creating a powerful morning routine which includes all the stuff that has the ability to make you happy. You can also try chanting powerful affirmations whenever your mind starts building up the resistance emotions.
• Live the dream and be present in the moment :- This is the tricky part. This is where I fail most of the times. Develop a firm belief that you deserve the absolute best in life. Our emotions have the power to attract our reality. If we are sad, anxious and crippled with disbelief, the Universe will create more instances in our life for us to continue to feel the same way. Just think of what would happen if we focus on the positives in our life and make way for the Universe to spread more happy and positive vibes around. Believe that you deserve to ACHIEVE your goals.
• Walk the talk :- Once you are sure of what you want from the Universe, don’t slack off waiting for your demands to turn to reality (just like that!). Work hard on your goals, little by little, each day and make sure to take all necessary steps to move closer to your goals. Leave the rest to the Universe to manifest.
• If you quit, you lose! Keep going!:- Gratefulness, consistency and patience are 3 extremely powerful process/behavior that cannot be skipped in the manifestation process. Many people stumble and fall off with the first disappointment or failure in the process of working on their goals. If we change our mindset from “Yes or No” to “Yes or Learn“, we have the power to go through many new and unique experiences in our life without being anxious or negative about it. Create a gratitude journal and write in it daily, maintain a daily record of your day and write down the tiniest things that helped you inch closer to your goals and grow with each experience, whether it ends in your favour or not.

And that’s it. This is as simple as it gets. My tagline for 2021 is “Manifest” which means I’ll try everything in my capacity to manifest a happy, fulfilled life. I’ve shared the process with you so that we can start this journey together (in case any of you want to try it too!). I’ll share my experiences as and when I achieve my goals or learn something new along the process.

We are in this together, let’s do this!

My ideal daily routine

#72/100

“Successful people aren’t born that way. They become successful by establishing the habit of doing things unsuccessful people don’t like to do.”

―William Makepeace Thackeray

I was going to talk about my dream life today but thought that’s too vague a topic to discuss. For some people, their dream life would be to own a mansion and live like a princess for the rest of my life (people like me!). Let me narrow my thought process to a daily routine, the ideal one. What do you absolutely need to do in a day to have a feeling of fulfilment at the end of it? Have you been struggling to implement certain habits in your routine that’s sure to benefit you in the long run? I sure have. What makes you struggle with these habits and you end up delaying it every single day? In my case, the regret of not following a good routine piles up every single day and ends up frustrating me one fine day to the point of absolute resentment towards my lack of discipline.

Since we have established, motivation does little to achieve our goals. Pushing ourselves to have disciplined life ensures a happy life, fulfillment of goals (short and long term) and increased self esteem. These sound great, yet I’m unable to be consistent with my routine, what should I do? Try to recollect the first time you tried to imbibe a new habit into your life. The first few days are a struggle, once we get past the first month, our body reacts to the activity on an auto pilot mode. Once we reach that stage, absence of that activity in our routine makes us feel incomplete.

Although I’ve read many articles on the exact number of days to create a new habit. As per research it’s 21 days. However, I’ve quit many activities even after consistently following it for 21 days. My exercise schedule was set after a month. Blogging daily also became a part of my routine after a month. I guess, a month works best for me.

Now comes the struggle part. The first month is filled with doubts, confusion and irritation. After few days, we really begin to question ourselves if we actually need to put ourselves through so much trouble to stick to a routine. This is then time we need to distract our selves, use positive self talk, use any/all tricks in the book to continue the routine next day. What really works for me is to take each day as it comes. The big goal looks humungous when we are struggling to follow it every day. We need to take each day as it comes and just try to stick to completing the schedule set for the day.

I wish to achieve the below long term goals in life :-

• Early riser
• Reader
• Best shape of my life (Mentally and physically)
• Knowledgeable
• Happy with my job

I intend to stick to a routine for the next 30 days to make powerful habit beneficial in achieving the above long term goals. I’ll see you at the end of 30 days to discuss my experience and outcome of this routine.

Soulmates

#19/100

“It’s so easy to fall in love but hard to find someone who will catch you”

-Anonymous

Ever since childhood, I’ve been a big fan of romantic comedies. I find intense love stories too cheesy or dramatic. Rom-coms make me go through various emotions without failing to make me laugh throughout it. That’s exactly why I’m pulled towards it like a magnet. It probably started when SRK swooned Kajol in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. This movie’s theme was based on the idea of best friends who discover later that they love each other. Since this was the first movie I had watched when I was sensible enough to understand love stories, my entire idea of love was based on the theme of this movie.

Life moved on and my idea of love has changed dramatically since then. With each new movie or show, I get new perspectives on this very important element of every human’s life. My favorite rom-coms always have amazing male characters. Although every character is different from each other, I always end up falling in love with the chivalrous characters who respect their woman and cherish them. These traits aren’t too much to ask for however I haven’t come across such adorable men in real life. I know many men who are amazing human beings and I absolutely respect them for that. I guess, I’m talking about the male lead of my life.

This is one phase of life that no one has any control over. I recently completed a series where the male lead was heads over heels in love with the female lead and didn’t beat around the bush to express his feelings for her. He knew she was the one and waited patiently for her to realize that. Rom-coms are beautiful. They always tend to teleport me to a parallel universe where every story has a happy ending. However at the end I’m jolted back to reality with a huge void in my heart. I’ve been patiently waiting for my male lead every since I watched Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. Unlike in movies/shows, this process can be excruciatingly slow for some people.

I know I’ll eventually find a new rom-com that’ll fill the void for a little while. Sometime’s life tests my patience to a level that I feel like giving up on this dream. But a new beautiful rom-com ends up reassuring my faith in destiny and soulmates. No one knows what the future has in store, it’s better to dream of a happy ending than otherwise.