A 180 degree change

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”

-Wayne Dyer

Day 10/30

I was lying on the couch today, completely bored out of my wits and for the first time in my life, dreading my birthday that’s going to arrive in 3 days. At the exact moment, my best friend called and told me that the Amazon delivery guy needs to understand the directions to my home and he was also on the line. I realized that she planned a surprise gift for me and I jumped in excitement. Finally, SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO.

The package was delivered and I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw what it contained. It was a pair of mint green shoes that was on my wish list for a very long time!! I recollected having discussed it with her many months ago and I couldn’t believe that she remembered.

I feel so blessed to have friends in my life, who care about me, listen to everything I say and truly wish for my happiness. My day changed from a boring one to one filled with happiness and excitement in a split second.

Why am I dreading my birthday this year? Let me give a disclaimer here, it’s only this year that I’m not excited for my birthday. I usually count the days to my birthday and plan something special to make it memorable. This year though, I feel very unsettled. I don’t know what the future holds. My life isn’t moving forward according to the conventional timelines of the society. I’m dreading any calls know with the fear of being asked the same questions I don’t have an answer to. I have started to avoid some of my close friend’s calls too because I don’t have anything new or interesting to share about my life anymore. I know everyone around me who is asking these questions about my future might be asking it out of concern. But it has instilled a deep fear in me, fear of never crossing those milestones in my life. I am truly scared.

I don’t know what to do to get out of this situation in life. I desperately wish for my life to take a 180 degree change. I want the society to stop asking me these questions. I want to be in control of my life again. I want to feel settled.

The one with the hundredth

100/100

“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” 

-Bernice Johnson Reagon

WOW! My emotions are all over the place today. I feel emotional, elated, proud and ecstatic at the same time!! I DID IT!! I completed my challenge of posting an article daily for 100 days. This feels surreal. To be honest, I was very scared of leaving this goal unaccomplished during the initial days of this challenge. I do have the tendency to set huge goals for myself and realize later on that I don’t have the ability or willpower to accomplish it. But this was different. Writing an article on my blog never felt like a task, it was something that helped clear my mind everyday. My day felt incomplete without posting on my blog. Maybe that’s the reason I was able to conquer my irrational fears about this challenge and reached the shore without having to experience any sort of turbulence on the way.

The impact of this challenge on my life

When I started out, I had zero confidence in my writing skills. This challenge forced me to think beyond my limitations and pour my heart out every single day on this blog. I have a long way to go in the field of blogging and accomplishing this challenge is a step in the right direction for me as it helped clear a lot of mental blocks such as :-

  • I was worried that I would run out of topics to write about for 100 days. Turns out as long as we are alive in the Universe, we will always have something to share to the world.
  • It is not as difficult as my mind made it seem like in the beginning. I started taking each day as it comes and broke down the 100 days into 1 article each day and concentrated only on that day’s article. Thinking of the challenge as a whole can be quite overwhelming, breaking it down into smaller, more achievable goals is less intimidating to our mind.
  • I don’t know if my there has been any improvement in my writing skills, but I sure am much quicker and better at putting my thoughts into words now. That’s a big win for me!
  • Whether you do something or not, time passes by anyways. It’s better to utilize time to the best of our ability and do everything that our mind can dream of.
  • You don’t need to have a particular skillset or extraordinary talent to do something you like. If you are truly passionate about it, you will grow along the way and become better with each attempt. Don’t let the fear of societal judgement hold you back from your dreams.
  • You can never know what you are capable of unless you attempt it.

Gratitude to the readers and my blogger friends

I started from square on with about 6 followers and now I have about 160+ of you following my blog. This is the biggest level of appreciation for me and motivates me to continue doing what I love. Thank you for your amazing comments, likes, support and feedback, I cherish them dearly and it fills me up with gratitude and love!! All the bloggers on this platform are superstars in their own right and have the most amazing writing style. I get to learn something new from each one of you. Keep up the great work, you guys are INCREDIBLE!!!

What next?

The challenge has come to an end but this isn’t the end of my blogging journey. I’ll continue to post articles (hopefully daily) for as long as I can think of till I find my niche and a fixed schedule to follow. A heartfelt thank you for all the support and amazing friends I have made here. I am truly overwhelmed!

To each his own

#40/100

One of my close friends is going through a difficult phase in her life currently. She isn’t able to be at peace and happy with the proceedings in her life. I, including our other close friends tried to calm her down, give her solutions, tried to make her see the silver lining in her current situation. Somehow, she isn’t able to do that and it makes me helpless to the point of feeling frustrated. I’m not able to understand my behaviour.

I have gone through such difficult times too in my life. I try to keep such things to myself and get better on my own. It takes a long while but I get past the hurdles eventually. I feel helpless when my closed ones go through such situations. More so, when I’m not able to make them feel better. As a spectator, I can clearly find a solution to each of their problems. But when I go through a difficult phase, my mind blocks out any sense of relief or possible solution to make me feel better. Nothing seems practical and I’m not able to find sense in any of the solutions provided to me by anyone else. Being in misery and pain is really awful. Deep inside you know that you want to be happy but being in distress somehow feels easier than working on finding a way out. It’s always easier to quit than run the extra mile in a marathon. But the runner in me never likes to quit even if the pain gets unbearable. During one of my recent prolonged episode of anxiety and depression, happiness felt like a distant dream. I was irked with every single detail of my life and just wanted to quit everything and do nothing. After days of feeling absolutely terrible and sad, one fine day my mind reached it’s limit. It didn’t want to be the spoilsport anymore. I decided to live in the present, be grateful for whatever I have in life and find happiness in small things. These are truly my mantras for living a peaceful and happy life and they have been working wonders for me.

I’ve tried telling this to my friend but it’s very hard for her to make sense of this. I’m trying very hard to make her understand and motivate her to work on her happiness but she needs some time. Pain and sorrow are a part and parcel of our life. Life is too long and filled with uncomfortable incidents that are bound to make us jittery. The only thing that matters is the manner in which we handle them and grow stronger with each such situation. I hope my friend feels better soon. I remember when she was going through a horrible phase some years back and truly felt that was the end of her. But she got through that and I’m sure she’ll get through this too. There’s always a silver lining.

Musically

#34/100

“Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything.”

-Plato

What is it about music that brings an instant relief and sense of happiness to my life? I’m not a musician, neither am I a student of music. I am normal human who derives immense pleasure from listening to music. Sometimes listening to favorite songs changes my mood, helps me concentrate, makes me instantly happy, deviates my mind from the reality and brings peace to my mind.

I really wish to know how music became such an integral element of everyone’s life. There’s a right kind of music for every occasion. Music also has the ability to bring out certain emotions from people that words fail to derive. While listening to songs that were my jam in the past, I instantly time travel to the past and relive those moments.

I haven’t come across a single person in my life who doesn’t listen to any kind of music. I’m sure such people do exist and I’m curious to know how they manage to exclude this beautiful element from their lives.

There are some songs that hit the right chord with me from the word go. I have a tendency to keep listening to the same songs on repeat once I like them. I never outgrow such songs and they take a permanent place in my playlist. For a person like me who has a limited attention span, music does manage to draw my attention to it every single time. Of late, listening to songs has made my long bus commute to office so much better. It has a magical effect of soothing my nerves and bringing a smile on my face every single time. I really don’t know what this world would do without music. Sounds like a really sad and depressed world to me.

Liebster Award

#31/100

I feel blessed and extremely happy to be nominated for the “Liebster Award” award by Anjali from https://chasingthemaximumlife.wordpress.com/. She is a beautiful soul who has been my constant support on this blogging journey. Her content is remarkable and can been seen through her sincere and genuine blog posts. Please drop by her blog and shower her with all your love and support as she is truly amazing! Thanks a million Anjali!!

Rules: 

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  2. Answer the 11 questions given to you 
  3. Nominate up to 11 other bloggers
  4. Ask your nominees 11 questions 
  5. Notify your nominees once you have uploaded your post. 

My answers to Anjali’s questions :-

  1. Where do you see your blog in a year’s time?

A year is a long time, I haven’t envisioned any specific annual goal for my blog yet though I should. I just want to be a better writer, have more clarity in my thoughts and be able to convert my thoughts to words in the best manner possible. I hope to have more than 1000 followers by then (might sound too farfetched at the moment, but a girl can dream!)

  1. If you could live anywhere on earth (and take whomever you wanted along), where would it be?

WOW! That’s a magical question. I would love to live in South Korea with my sister and mom.

  1.  Would you rather lose the ability to read or lose the ability to speak?

I cannot fathom losing the ability to read. Both are very essential senses but for the sake of this question I’ll go with losing the ability to speak.

  1. What’s that one negative thing you would get rid of so that you can have a better life?

I sometimes can get impatient with my goals. I feel like doing everything, right now. I need to go slow and break down bigger goals into smaller tasks on a daily basis so that it’s easier to accomplish.

  1. Favourite thing to do when you’re sick?

Rest and browse through the internet, maybe watch a show along the way.

  1. Would you rather be a famous director of a famous actor? And why?

This is something I’ve never thought of. If I have to choose one, I’ll go with being a famous actor. Recently I’ve been mesmerized by the acting skills of a Korean star. He absolutely loves his profession and creates magic on the screen in whatever role he portrays. It seems interesting to play different roles on screen. For a person like me who wants to try everything in life, becoming an actor sounds like an interesting opportunity.

  1. Do you trust your own memory? Why or Why not?

Absolutely. I have a pretty good memory. It has helped me a lot throughout my student life while preparing for my exams. It’s one of the things I’m proud of.

  1. Favourite guilty pleasure food?

CHOCOLATE ANYTHING.

  1. Favourite appetizer?

Any dish made of paneer. I really love “Paneer Kasturi” made by a local restaurant in my residential area.

  1. Your favourite genre? Why?

If this relates to book/show/movie then ROMCOMS all the way. It makes me go through various emotions throughout the show/movie/book. I need a good comic element along with romance in any entertainment medium to keep me hooked.

  1. What is your blog related wish for 2020? Your favourite genre?

I wish to complete my 100 day posts challenge without any hiccups. I don’t have a favourite genre when it comes to reading. I like anything that can keep me engrossed.

My nominees for the award :-

Bhanu from Surat Diaries

Manisha from A Human Just Like You

Pooja from Lifeisfinewhine

Recuperation

Anusha from blatherskite

Nawazish from The Lightening bug

My questions to the nominees :-

  1. Why did you start blogging?
  2. Who/what is the biggest inspiration behind your blog?
  3. Do you like cats or dogs more?
  4. What is the one thing you want to change about your past?
  5. What makes you angry and what do you do to calm yourself down?
  6. What is your favourite song that you are hooked to these days?
  7. If you can pick one superpower, what would it be and why?
  8. What is your favourite movie of all time?
  9. Is there a particular food that can instantly lift your spirits?
  10. What is the one adventure sport that you wish to try?
  11. What is the first country on your vacation bucket list and why?

Thank you from the bottom of my heart and gratitude always.

-Supermode

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

#16/100

This feels unreal. This is my third award nomination in 15 days and my heart is filled with gratitude for Ara from Recuperation. Awards, medal, certificates or any kind of accolades have always been my biggest source of motivation since childhood. I don’t know if I’m a good writer yet but I’m trying hard to improve my skills each day. Each one of my posts is a heartfelt attempt to pour my thoughts into words in the best possible manner. Thank you so much Recuperation. This means a lot to me.

RULES:

• Thank the person who have nominated you and provide a link back to his/her blog.

• Answer their questions.

• Nominate up to 9 other bloggers and ask them 5 new questions.

• Notify the nominees through their blog by visiting and commenting on their blog.

• List the rules and display the “Ideal Inspiration Blogger Award” logo. Provide the link of the Award creator of ideal inspiration blogger award as Rising Star from  https://idealinspiration.blog/

NOMINATION:

I was nominated by the gracious Ara from Recuperation. She manages a marvelous blog and all her posts are a reflection of her kind personality. Please do check her blog and shower her with your love and support. She deserves this and much more.

https://backtosquareones.wordpress.com/

My answers to Ara’s questions :-

1.What social stigma does society need to get over?

I don’t know if I can ever have one specific answer to this question. What really bugs me at my current phase in life is that girls in Indian households who are single and have crossed the age of 30 are subject to a lot of pressure to get married. They are made to believe that their existence is worthless (despite being successful in their respective careers) if they don’t get married. The society keeps hammering negative thoughts in their parent’s minds, every single discussion revolves around prospective grooms, the girls are told to dress in a certain manner, groom themselves better, lose weight and many such hurtful comments to crush their self esteem. The society really needs to stop meddling in other people’s lives and pass unnecessary judgement based on their orthodox views.

2.What was cool when you were young but isn’t cool now?

Probably gossiping. I know gossiping is never cool but as a kid I never realized that. I try to not indulge in it that much as I find it uncool to talk about other people’s lives without having any facts checked.

3.What’s your secret talent?

I have a fairly decent memory when it comes to remembering people’s clothes. I know it’s completely useless talent to possess but I can recollect people and incidents from the color and type of clothes that they might have worn on a particular day.

4.Which is your best all time hobby?

The two ‘R’s in my life. Reading and running. Both help keep me sane and can cheer me up in seconds.

5.When did you realize that you loved writing ?

I always loved writing as a kid. I had a troubled childhood, writing in my diary was my biggest escape from the hardships that I’ve faced in life. Writing has always helped me clear me thoughts, for a over thinker like me, that’s a huge step in the right direction.

My nominees : –

Chasing The Maximum Life

LIFESFINEWHINE BY POOJA

A Human Just Like You

My questions for the nominees :-

  1. Who/what is your biggest source of inspiration?
  2. What is your biggest fear in life?
  3. What is your superpower?
  4. What is the most proud moment of your life till date?
  5. What quality in humans do you detest the most?

I’m grateful to each and every soul who has taken time out to read and comment on my posts. Your love and support keeps me going. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Much love,

Thesupermode

Free as a bird

#13/100

The other day while having a general conversation with one of my closest friends about my work life, she asked me a basic question that put me into a deep thought. I told her I wasn’t enjoying my work at the moment and am very confused about what I want to do in life. She asked me to tell her about any activity apart from work that I really enjoyed to do. I do have such activities like running or writing but I couldn’t envision a career in them at the moment. I really enjoy them as my hobbies, without a specific rule book attached to it.

She told me then that I like to travel and explore. I like to be ‘free as a bird‘. The realization made by this simple sentence hit me hard. Tears welled up in my eyes, my eyes went moist right now while typing the sentence. This is exactly what I want to be. I want to be free from any expectations to act or behave in a certain manner, dependency to continue something that my mind doesn’t enjoy doing, low tolerance to mistakes and failures, the need to beat the competition and not better my own self. My mind and personality aren’t made for cut throat competition. I like to be free willed, set targets for my own personal development and achieve them, only gain motivation from my peers and not be forced to be better than them on paper to gain a promotion. After working in a corporate job for 8 years, I feel more alienated from the crowd than be a part of it. I feel like running far away and never return back.

I have some responsibilities at home at the moment which need my support and attention. Until then, I need to convince my brain to help me out and make me happy doing what I am supposed to do. Alas, our brain doesn’t act that way. If our brain wholeheartedly rejects something, it takes a long time to even understand that something’s wrong. I’m watching a very insightful video currently on the “Neuroscience of depression”. It’s such a brilliant video which explains everything that goes wrong in our brain when we experience depression. The worst part of it is that nothing is under our control. However, as with everything in life, there is a silver lining here as well. Depression is treatable. You can have a lot more understanding of your thoughts if you try to understand how your brain works.

As far as I am concerned, I’m really trying to live each day as it comes. I try to find happiness in small things like watching my favorite videos or eating good food. I’m also regularly practicing meditation which is like a deep relaxation for my mind. I instantly feel refreshed after a 20 min meditation session.

I do secretly pray to be “free as a bird” sooner than I can imagine. 🙂

Sunshine Blogger Award

#11/100

It came as a beautiful surprise to me when I was nominated by @manishasky for this wonderful award. Although I had created my wordpress account and blog way back in 2016, it’s been only 10 days since I’ve been regular with my writing. I’m currently on a 100 day challenge wherein I’m pushing myself to post one article consistently for 100 days. I sure do hope to see a transformation in my writing skills, personality as well as my life by the end of this challenge. Your nomination made my day @manishasky. My heart is filled with gratitude to you for recognizing this blog and appreciating my work. More power to you.

For the uninitiated, the Sunshine Blogger award is presented by fellow bloggers to each other to inspire them and acknowledge their efforts in spreading positive vibes, creativity and sunshine on this platform.

For everyone who is reading this post, please pay a visit to the amazing blog handled by @manishasky at the below link. She writes beautifully and deserves your love and affection on her blogging journey.

https://manishasky.wordpress.com/

Please go through the rules below :

  • Thank the blogger(s) who nominated you and link back to their blog.
  • List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo in your post and/or on your blog.
  • Answer the 11 questions the blogger asked you.
  • Nominate up to 11 new blogs to receive the award, write them 11 questions and notify them about the nomination.

Here are my answers to the 11 questions. 🙂

1. What embarrasses you the most and/or what’s been your most embarrassing moment?

For the longest time, more than being embarrassed, I was petrified of public humiliation. I was anxious to the point of not being able to face multiple people at the same time, be it just for a game of dumb charades. As I’ve grown and learnt to love myself more, I’m more at peace with my inner self, flaws and shortcomings included. My most embarrassing moment recently was when I was discussing about my future leaves with a colleague in the office lift, the day I resumed office after a 4 day break, completely unaware that my boss was standing behind me listening to the entire conversation. I couldn’t look him in the eye for an entire week after that.

2. Who do you look up to the most, and what qualities do you love about that person?

My mother. She is my source of inspiration, the reason for my survival. She is the most positive and hard working person I know. She never stopped learning in her life and that quality just amazes me. She is beautiful, inside out and I’m extremely proud to be her daughter.

3. What would be your perfect day?

Everyday is uniquely beautiful. Of late, I’m struggling with anxiety and stress about my career and purpose in life. A perfect day at the moment for me would be a day where I don’t have to struggle to be happy.

4. What’s your biggest fear?

Living my entire life with the regret of not making it worthwhile. Also snakes and darkness creep me out.

5. How do you like to be comforted when you’re sad or upset?

Anything made out of chocolates instantly uplifts my mood. Also anything related to BTS (the greatest boy band in the world) be it their music or videos or just their posts on Instagram can bring a bright smile on my face.

6. What’s your all time Happy Memory?

There was a time in my life where I dreaded to begin the new year 2017. I was highly dissatisfied with my job back then and was expected to handle additional responsibilities at the start of the year. My best friend gifted me a jar filled with 365 notes on 31st December 2016 for each day of the new year. She made sure I had a reason to look forward to each day in that year. 🙂

7. What’s your favorite thing you own and why?

Recently with the help of my mother, we got our house renovated. It had been my dream since childhood to revamp our house. I love every nook and corner of it.

8. Who was the last person who made you cry and why?

It wasn’t a person but a conversation that brought tears to my eyes unexpectedly. I really have a hard time crying. I always suppressed my emotions as a kid and hated crying, considering it a sign of weakness. As I’ve mentioned earlier, I’m at a crossroads in life, trying to figure out my purpose, a line of work that would make me happy and passionate to call my own. While we were having a conversation about this, my friend told me I like to be ‘free as a bird’. I read it and tears welled up in my eyes.

9. Where do you hope to be five years from now? Ten, fifteen?

Wherever I am, I just hope to be happy as a puppy, completely secure with my personality, spreading positive energy and joy to people around me. I hope to live by the quote “my cup runneth over”.

10. If money was no object, what would I buy?

A beautiful mansion in a quiet place, away from the city crowd. It’s also my dream to build an animal shelter and a helpline to provide immediate support to any animal in distress.

11. When have you felt the most proud?

When my mother tells me that I’ve made her proud. Also after completing any task that I once considered absolutely impossible to accomplish.

I further nominate my fellow bloggers below who have taken time out to read and comment on my blog posts. The questions are the same as the ones I’ve answered. Thank you so much for your support, it means the world to me.

https://strategies2cope.wordpress.com/

https://tonyburgess1969.net/

https://jouyoz.wordpress.com/

https://lancesheridan.com/

https://kaahsh.com/author/sadaah/

https://rahulgaurblog.com/

https://millenniallifecrisis.org/

https://wwwselflovee.wordpress.com/

https://backtosquareones.wordpress.com/

https://bombayficus.com/

https://thecrumblingfacade.wordpress.com/

Thank you 🙂