Move on

“You must make a decision that you are going to move on. It wont happen automatically. You will have to rise up and say, ’I don’t care how hard this is, I don’t care how disappointed I am, I’m not going to let this get the best of me. I’m moving on with my life.”

– Joel Osteen

Day 22/30

I woke up today feeling irritated and frustrated. In the past couple of months, I have gone through 2 specific incidents with regards to my career and personal life that haven’t panned out in the way I want. You wait for a long time for things to work out your way, to encounter something that lights your soul, to experience something that sparks joy. After an excruciatingly long wait, the Universe decided to give me a glimpse of those things. Everything looked perfect on the face of it, it looked like my wishes have been answered, finally! But, turns out it was just a sample or in technical terms, a trial version. The outcome of these experiences are inconclusive. While I’m waiting for the end to be positive, somehow my mind keeps saying that it might not be so.

I’m frustrated but I’m done being frustrated. I’m done feeling like this. I’m done allowing rejections of any kind, to get the best of me. I don’t want to get into that phase of life where nothing and no one make sense anymore. Where I keep blaming my stars for everything wrong that’s happened in my life. Where I stop being grateful about the good things in my life and only concentrate on the ones that didn’t turn out as per my wish. I’m done.

While I’m horrible at the art of moving on, I want to fight back these negative feelings till the last ounce of mental strength and energy. How am I planning to do it? By taking care of myself and showing up for myself, each day, every day.

“With every act of self-care your authentic self gets stronger, and the critical, fearful mind gets weaker. Every act of self-care is a powerful declaration: I am on my side, I am on my side, each day I am more and more on my own side.”

– Susan Weiss Berry

There are many different ways in which one can indulge in self care activities throughout the day. Don’t be fooled by the name “self care”. Though these activities are meant to make you feel better, most of us will easily trade it with lying around and doing nothing. These activities require you to “take action” which is easily one of the most difficult tasks to do when we feel under the weather.

Here’s a list of random self care activities that one can choose from. I won’t make big promises and write down huge self care goals. I’d rather follow them for sometime and share my experience after a month or so. I wish you a happy and healthy state of mind. You deserve the best, you deserve to be happy!

A jolly good day

“Happiness is a gift and the trick is not to expect it, but to delight in it when it comes.”

-Charles Dickens

Day 13/30

It’s my birthday today and I didn’t expect it to go so well. Actually, I had no expectations at all. The only thing I knew was under my control was completing my target of running 13 kms today since my birth date is 13. I knew that if I managed to accomplish this first thing in the morning on my birthday, my day will be sorted.

When the clock struck 12 am on 13th, my best friend and sister called to wish me. My best friend had already sent me my birthday gift 2 days earlier. It’s an amazing pair of mint green sneakers that had been on my wish list for a very long time. My sister gave me a gift that shook me to the very core. I had been eyeing a running watch from a reputed brand for a long time. It was on my wish list and would have been a big achievement for me once I managed to catch hold of it. MY SISTER GIFTED ME THE WATCH! It took me more than a minute to understand what’s going on when I opened the gift and saw the brand name. I absolutely DID NOT expect this.

The day started with a 13 km run, I knew this was totally under my control to set the tone for the day. As soon as I came back, I responded to all the wishes. It honestly MADE my day. Everyone remembered my birthday and made sure to wish me. They poured their wishes and blessings on me and that made me feel extremely grateful and special. Birthdays are really special as we feel like everyone is celebrating the day we were brought to existence and that fills my heart with gratitude.

The secret to happiness is LOW or NO expectations and I couldn’t agree more. I have always felt empty and sad towards the end of my birthdays all these years as I had many unfulfilled expectations. Last year I had an incredible birthday even after being under complete lockdown as I did not expect anything. The same story repeated this year as well yet I had a very blessed birthday. That’s the mantra I’m going to follow all my life.

24 hours

“Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed.”

–Wayne Dyer

Day 5/30

How to make the best use of your time? Start living in the moment. I know, I know! It’s easier said than done. I am never in the moment. When I was a kid, I used to perpetually live in the past. I used to keep rewinding my life experiences and regret everything that I felt was wrong with it. I always wanted to do better, be better. Nothing was perfect enough for me.

When I grew up and started working, I started living in the future as well as past. I used to day dream about my bucket list and dream of achieving them. Again nothing in the present moment felt right. I kept my expectations high and mentally strained myself to achieve all of them in order to feel happy.

It was in lockdown last year when I discovered the foolproof way of being happy. I started applying this trick in my life and it effortlessly made me happy, every single time. At a time when I felt that everything was going wrong with my life, I found it very easy to find things that made me happy, effortlessly. How did I do it?

I started paying attention and found happiness in small things!

From getting a window seat in bus to listening to my favorite BTS song, these tiny actions made me happy than I’ve ever felt in my life. It was a tough time to deal with and under usual circumstances, I would have succumbed to the negativity in my life. But I was so tired of being anxious, scared, unhappy and bored with my life that I was willing to try anything.

I have been feeling very bored and useless since the last 2 weeks. Though I don’t know the reason behind it, I am extremely tired of it. I am FED UP. I want to feel alive, energetic and happy again. I never want to feel like this in my life again. I have taken time for granted. I purposely waste my time for no reason and wait for the day to end. I while my time doing things that I don’t actually wish to do. I sense a huge loss of control in my life and I desperately want it BACK.

I am going to take life, ONE DAY AT A TIME. Ever day is beautiful and I wish to live each day to the fullest. I know rest days are important and help you recharge and rejuvenate. However, I have never felt “rejuvenated” after prolonged period of rest. I am extremely low on energy and motivation. Consistent efforts on our goals are always better than going all out on important occasions. Good habits require regular practice and consistency, in short, our efforts!

These are few good habits that I wish to incorporate in my life :-

• Plan your new day the night before
• Wake up at 5 am daily
• Meditate for 20 mins daily
• Workout for 30 mins minimum
• Gratitude journaling/ daily journaling
• Read 40 pages daily
• Study for your career progression
• Revisit your goal progress at the end of each day

This is the first challenge of my “Lifestyle transformation” journey. I am on my way to make every day worthwhile and earn my leave. Let’s do this!