Do I really procrastinate?

#54/100

“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand—and melting like a snowflake.”

– Francis Bacon

For the longest time I sincerely believed that procrastination = laziness. You have a list of tasks at hand for the day, you know it’s too important to complete them on time, you have plenty of time to strike of each task from your to-do list, yet, you choose to slack! I’ve done it with my studies, while getting ready to go out and majorly with my office work.

For the last 3 days, I have been waking up early to get a good head start on the day and complete my workout before I start my office work. I got the waking up early part right each day, however, every single day I procrastinated till the last minute and had to rush through my workouts and office work. This got me thinking, what really went wrong?

I had a super productive weekend this week. I woke up early both days and completed all my planned work. I even managed to squeeze in a 10 km run on Sunday when my mind tried it’s best to convince me against doing it. On Monday I noticed my energy levels dipping, I was gloomy and it was easier for my mind to convince me to procrastinate.

The point I’m trying to make here is that procrastination is not a state of mind or force of habit. In my case, I tend to procrastinate when I don’t like the task at hand. I’m an introvert by nature, going out to socialize with people can be a nightmare for me sometimes. I always procrastinated when I had to leave my house to attend social events. I don’t like being part of the corporate rate race. That explains my extreme procrastination when it comes to office work. I enjoy reading but studying for an exam makes me anxious and stressed. The fear of not performing well in the exams always overpowered my fear of exams itself. That’s why I always procrastinated on my studies. If I don’t study well, I can blame my lack of preparation for it and be a victim of the situation. On the other hand, I am always punctual on the days of my running events, for my trips or attending a highly anticipated event.

Not every situation in life is going to be as per our wishes. We can be depressed even after manifesting all our goals and achieving the life of our dreams. Life is how you make it. If I hate my current job, I’ll manifest more reasons to hate it. If I work hard on liking what I do, whatever it is, the universe will manifest more reasons for me to find things that I like. It may feel pretentious at first, but to manifest the life of my dreams, I need to pretend that I’m living it in the present. I absolutely couldn’t relate to this advise when I read it in self help books. How can I be happy or find reasons to be happy in a situation that I absolutely despise? Recently I hit rock bottom, I absolutely couldn’t find any reason to be happy in the present or visualize it in future. Being unable to imagine a happy future is the most painful thing one can experience. I got over it by trying to find happiness in the small stuff. As I concentrated on that, I found more reasons to be happy about.

I really need to use this technique at the work place too. I absolutely hate it at present. Starting tomorrow, I’ll try finding reasons that make me happy and fulfilled at my workplace. I’m really excited to see how this experiment turns out. Will I finally be able to be passionate about my work? Only time will tell though I’m optimistic about it!!

The secret to success

#39/100

BTS : First Korean act to top the Billboard chart ever

I literally jumped with joy when I got this news yesterday. My beloved BTS has created history yet again. They are the only Korean act to top the Billboard chart in it’s entire history. This news made me so happy, it felt like my success. I have been closely following BTS’s journey since 2015 and have been their ardent fan ever since. From being disregarded in their country to becoming the global sensations and music legends that they are now, BTS has come a long way.

BTS always make me wonder how they managed to get this successful in life. They are small time boys from South Korea who were passionate about music and dance and wanted to make a mark in their local music industry. For 3 years since their debut, they were moderately recognized in their country but were subjected to harsh criticisms, mean comments, jealous remarks, derogatory opinions and snubbed by their own industry. However, they continued to work hard each day with the dream to make it big one day. Their hard work knew no bounds, they put their heart and soul into everything they did and managed to enjoy and live in the present. I don’t know what they did exactly to tilt the universe in their favor but their countless hours of hard work paid off eventually. They earned international acclaim in the year 2016 and their popularity has increased by leaps and bounds ever since. In the words of John Green, their life is a roller coaster that only goes up. With each success, they continue to work harder, be happy, live in the present, be humble and just love themselves and their life.

BTS has been a big source of inspiration for me ever since I’ve had the privilege of knowing them. Their journey gives me hope and great strength to deal with every situation in my life. I remember during my weight loss journey, I was constantly inspired by BTS to work a little harder, do a little better each day. I still remember my first 10 km marathon run. The last 2 kms with extremely tough and I wanted to give up. At that moment I closed my eyes and thought about BTS and their undying spirit, it instantly energized me to finish my marathon strong.

From BTS’s journey, I’ve realized that the cheat code to crack life is very simple but somehow extremely hard to implement by many people. We need to live in the present, give more than our best in everything that we do, be kind and humble, be grateful for our blessings and find happiness in everything that we do. So simple right, this is what BTS do as per my observation. These are very simple steps but somehow we fall prey to the challenges that life throws at us and bow out of the success race mid way. I’m trying to follow these ‘cheat codes’ to the best of my ability and have never felt happier in my life.

Let’s try to un-complicate life and be happy no matter what. I’ve been grinning from ear to ear throughout the day today because of this incredible news of BTS. Cheers to many more amazing accolades in future. Thank you BTS for keeping me sane and being my number 1 source of comfort and happiness whenever I am down and out. Thank you for inspiring me to do better and celebrate all the small wins in life. Life is extremely beautiful, let’s keep it that way and make it brighter and happier.

The missing pendant

#1/100

To kick start my first article of this challenge, let me document one of the most miraculous days of my life.

Ever since my childhood, I had developed a habit of wearing a gold chain on my neck. I call it a habit because I’m not particularly interested in jewelry or accessorizing as such, it’s just a thing I had picked up as part of our community values. I know it doesn’t make sense at all, it’s just one of the crazy things we south Indians do, “Your neck looks bare, wear a gold chain!”

As I started using the public transport for my work commute, I became extremely fearful of wearing a gold chain on a daily basis. There have been many instances of chain snatching on the trains or railway platforms and that honestly scared the shit out of me. I still carried on with determination and built up my confidence after almost a decade of using the public transport.

However, an incident that took place about a year and a half back forced me to change my view on this. I had started going on long morning runs ranging from 7 to 10 kms during the weekends. On one such run, after completing few rounds, I slowly felt my gold chain slipping through my back. I turned around and saw it on the ground. In the momentary celebration of having found my gold chain back I realized that it didn’t have the most important element, my precious tortoise pendant.

Although I didn’t have an interest in wearing jewelry, I absolutely loved the pendant. It was a beautiful small gold and diamond pendant in the shape of a tortoise, it even had eyes carved on it for crying out loud! Let me insert a reference picture here for you to understand why I absolutely adored it.

https://www.bluestone.com/pendants/the-tortoise-pendant~9509.html

The realization struck soon, I might have lost the pendant way before the gold chain slipped from my neck and I just wasn’t ready to lose it. I was running on a concrete road with tiny pebbles and leaves all around. It was physically next to impossible to find the pendant on the ground. I still spent the next 45 mins going over the same stretch of the road multiple times to try and locate my precious pendant. All through the ordeal, my mind was exceptionally calm and confident that I would find it. However, the positive chatter soon ended when I wasn’t successful in retrieving it. Reluctantly, I decided to head back home. I couldn’t complete my running target either and honestly that bothered me even more.

I started taking painfully slow steps back home with my eyes still fixated on the ground, eagerly trying to locate my precious pendant, without any hope left to find it. I walked for sometime, probably the most disappointing walk of my life, when my eyes fell on something shiny on the ground. You’ve got to be kidding me, there lay my pendant, smothered in mud and tiny pebbles! This place was way behind the path where I had felt my chain slipping from my neck so I had no inclination of searching for it here. My pendant had slipped from the chain almost a kilometre before the chain lost it’s balance. I had spent 45 mins looking for it in the completely wrong direction and path. I was exhilarated! I absolutely couldn’t believe my luck! I found my pendant back!

I had an exciting story to share to my mom that day and also a valid reason for tucking the chain and pendant safely inside the locker. To celebrate this miraculous victory, I decided to complete the run that was disrupted by the missing pendant incident. Yeah, that’s how I celebrate, I run!