Patience is virtue

#64/100

Do you remember the feeling of complete disbelief you have when you come across any gigantic challenge in life? I’m talking about the tasks that require us to work hard for a very long time before we start seeing any results on it. We are a generation which is used to “instant gratification”. We are absolutely not ready to wait for a long time for our reward. For us hard work and rewards go hand in hand. Technology and the current corporations have utilized this phenomena to their best capacity to bring us applications that cater to the needs of the current generation. Everything is digitalized and available to us at the push of a button. We have the attention span of a goldfish, we need to see visible results for us to continue working on it.

The experience that I am about to share now relates to my struggle to continue working hard while battling the ill effects of this phenomena. The first month of my weight loss journey was extremely hard. I had never seen results with any weight loss method (casual ones) I had applied before. I had zero hope of being successful at this attempt (honest one) as I was trying it out for the very first time. Every single workout session was a challenge. There were so many instances when I questioned my decision of subjecting myself to the pain of exercise. For a person who has never been into any form of physical activity before, working out consistently without seeing any results whatsoever was a battle between the ease of giving up and my resolve to lose weight. It wasn’t just this, I had refrained from eating unhealthy food. That means I had to sacrifice on all the food that excited my taste buds but were unhealthy for my body.

However, I wanted to share this experience because it has been one of the biggest life altering lessons of my life. Though there were times I wanted to give up, I was able to motivate myself to continue working hard. I kept telling myself that the pain won’t last forever, I just have to do this for 3 months (that’s the deadline I had set for myself) and I can give up if I don’t see any results after that. This experience taught me to live in the present. For some reason, I felt that I needed to lose weight in a specific time frame, anything beyond that would be a waste of time. I really don’t understand why I kept chasing time earlier. Working on myself is a life long process, one can’t put a timeline on it. No one will judge us for not doing it before or after a certain time. The best time to start any activity is “NOW” and the best way to be consistent at it is to work on it “one day at a time“. We tend to compare our daily results to the end goal and get disappointed for not being successful at it.

I broke down my goal into monthly targets and celebrated each milestone. My initial goal was to lose over 12 kgs in 3 months. For the first few days I kept checking my weight after every difficult workout session and wanted to give up on not seeing any results (classic mistake!). Then I decided to mark one day each month (milestone) to check my weight and maintain a log of my daily food and exercise schedules. This helped me immensely as I could see gradual progress in my food and workout habits daily and that kept me motivated till my milestone days. On each milestone day, I could see a considerable progress in my weight, body and fitness levels and that just boosted my confidence to next level.

Although my initial reason for my weight loss was for completely aesthetic, healthy eating and workouts have become an integral part of my life. I have become stronger, physically and mentally after consistently working on myself and achieving this goal. This experience has taught me to stay patient and to keep going when things get tough. As they say, “The universe always falls in love with a stubborn heart

The next time you have a huge task and keep questioning your abilities to complete it, just remember to be consistent at it, one day at a time.

Becoming unstoppable

#62/100

“Who you are today is not who you have to be tomorrow.” 

Zdravko Cvijetic

Okay, so there have been few inconsistencies in my life of late. My routine has undergone a 360 degree change. I’m incredibly blessed to have a mother who understands the importance of having a stable mental health and doesn’t force me to do things I don’t feel like. Yet, I know I’m not giving my best. She has fractured her hand and needs complete rest at the moment. I am currently overwhelmed with the responsibilities of the house as well as office at the same time. I have been doing a terrible job at both since the day I took the responsibility.

I have the tendency to consider myself a victim of every uncomfortable situation that I’m put through. My initial reaction is to blame every person/thing that I consider responsible for being the reason behind my misery. My way to cope up with such situations is to do nothing about it. Since I’m a perfectionist, I take a long time to do any work that is expected of me. That makes it difficult for me to manage a lot of work at the same time causing me to procrastinate everything till the last moment.

But I’m really tired of finding the easy way out in all the difficult situations of my life. I always waste time when I have a lot of it. The minute I’m supposed to do something that I don’t wish to do, I’m reminded of all the work that I could have done in that time instead. My defense mechanism goes overboard to make me feel absolutely terrible at times.

So I’ve decided that this time, I won’t pick the safe route. I’ll get all work done, in the manner that I’m supposed to do, to the best of my ability. My mom is my biggest inspiration in life. Her grit and positivity always shines bright on me. The way she has handled all the difficult situations in life can be a rulebook to ones who get scared of it. She gets motivated to work harder when things don’t go as per her wish. I’ve hardly seen her disappointed with failures. She takes every mistake as a learning lesson and challenges herself to do better next time. This is exactly what I’m planning to do.

Cheers to a new challenge. If I can deal with all the brick backs life throws at me and end up learning something new in the process, won’t I become the person that I truly want to be? Be truly unstoppable! Let’s do this!!

I am my hope

#60/100

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” 

― J.K.Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

There was a time when I endlessly waited for happy things to take place in my life. I believed that I was stuck at the same place without any respite. My life seemed dull and eventless. I truly believed that I was a victim of the situation that I was in and waited to be rescued by a prince in shining armor. I couldn’t see any way out of the situation and was unhappy with the way things were progressing in my life. I hated my job, the crowded local trains, my work, my profession, basically everything that accounts for a fulfilled life. I thought that I was living my life for other people and didn’t indulge in any activity that truly made me happy. I somehow couldn’t find a way out and my future seemed very bleak at that moment.

But….

I don’t feel like this anymore. I am truly happy with my life now. I have time to work on all the activities that make me happy. My work is the same but it doesn’t frustrate me anymore. I’m in the same profession yet it doesn’t drain all my energy. I do feel sad and upset at times but am able to bounce back to my happy self soon. What has really changed?

The old me truly believed that the situation she was going through, the bad ones, the frustrating ones, were her reality. She couldn’t find happiness in the present nor had any hope for the future. She wasn’t able to disassociate her future from the present. She believed that happiness exists in the big events and the small ones are either insignificant or don’t last long. She was on a constant wait for her life to change for the better but didn’t know how her ‘better future‘ looked like.

So what changed now? I know that my present situations have little or no control over my future. I consider myself limitless, I don’t feel tied down by my current circumstances. I find happiness in the tiniest things, they could be as basic as making homemade chocolates or shopping for stuff online. I feel an immense sense of gratitude for everything that I have and count my blessings. I hold myself responsible for my life. I know I have the power to change it for the better, anytime, every time. This has helped me build my hope for the future. In all the self help books that I’ve read till date, the most prominent hack for a happy life is to find happiness in the present. I always found it difficult to find happiness in my present life when everything seemed going downhill. It felt absolutely impossible to like a job I absolutely hated. One day I just happened to watch a good show and it filled me with immense happiness. The show was great, but I longed to feel that happy always. That’s when I decided to revel in my happiness, find it in as many things as possible (be it big or small) and live a fulfilled life.

Ever since I’ve started looking at the bright side of every incident, my life changed. I don’t feel trapped by any situation. I take a deep breath rather than being frustrated by any inconsistency and think calmly to find the best possible solution. No matter how difficult the situation is, I know that it’s not my reality or future. That helps me look at my life as a spectator and pick the option that makes me most happy. This has made me realize that it’s not that difficult to stay happy if we put in a little effort each day. Happiness is liberating and I want to be happy and positive in every situation I face in life.

Yes or yes

#58/100

The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.

-John Milton

There are so many things I wish to do in life. Yet, I don’t do most of them. Some things are beyond my capacity or reach, for everything else, my heart and mind are never in sync.

There have been many situations in life where I wished to do my best. Like giving a presentation in front of a room full of people (which I have rehearsed many times), performing a choreographed dance sequence in front of an audience (after many hours of practice) or doing well at a job interview. I have a fear of public speaking. I’m unable to perform well when I know I’m being watched and “judged” by other people. What is this fear really? For years, it has made me lose many opportunities to excel in life and upgrade my personality. Why do I fear public speaking so much? Why does my mind only say “no” to any opportunity that requires me to be in the limelight?

My oldest memory of public speaking was the fancy dress competition event in school. My costume was up to the mark yet when it was my stage to deliver the dialogue on stage, I stopped mid sentence as I forgot the rest of the sentence. But I didn’t fear anything at that time, I didn’t know what fear was. As years passed by, my fear of being judged by other people increased multi fold. I started caring way too much about what other people thought of me and desperately wished to hide myself whenever I was asked to speak in front of other people.

My weight loss journey also helped me to shed my insecurity and self esteem issues. That’s when I realized, my fear of public speaking stemmed from the fact that I was extremely conscious about my weight. After I lost my weight, I forced myself to do my best under the limelight whenever I got the chance to.

I understand that our mind (rather gene’s) primitive instinct is to survive and avoid death under any circumstances. And I had read somewhere that human beings tend to feel inconsequential when faced with negative remarks. We fear that we might make a fool of ourselves when we don’t perform well. This would make us lose face in front of the society which would render our existence as futile. We have a inert fear of non existence on this planet, which co relates to our gene’s prime most need to survive.

Fear is important, only in case of a real threat to our existence. In all other cases, our mind creates a psychological illusion of fear whenever it senses a situation of treat towards it’s existence. Let us try to be aware of our emotions, understand what situations affect us and in what manner and work towards not missing out real opportunities in the name of fear. Let’s love ourselves enough to work on ourselves.

Getting work done

#57/100

“Over time, grit is what separates fruitful lives from aimlessness.”

-John Ortberg

Life has thrown me a curve ball when I least expected it. I’ve been having a pretty relaxed routine ever since the beginning of our quarantine and grown very comfortable with it. I did my work at my own sweet time and didn’t care about the time that went in vain. I had a lot of things to do in my mental to do list but decided to take it easy and pushed things off to tomorrow that weren’t a priority. Ever since my mom fractured her hand, I am pressed for time. There’s lot of work to do in little time and all I feel like doing is to sleep.

I know that I desperately need to work on my time management skills. If I make good use of time, I’ll be able to get more work done now than ever before. Whenever I feel pressurized or burdened, my initial reaction is to slack. Call it anxiety or sheer nervousness, my fear of not getting perfect results in everything I do, makes me want to quit the situation all together. I tend to waste my time not doing anything rather than utilizing every single millisecond to do my best and not think too much about the output.

I have a lot of work on my hand and the only thing that will help me deal with it is to “Act before I think” or rather “overthink”. I haven’t been following this of late and have allowed my fearful thoughts to take the driver seat. It’s time to take action or else I will be stuck at the same place forever.

I’ve come across this quote many times before “What doesn’t break you makes you stronger!” Now is the right time to prove this quote right. Our human mind is capable of truly great things. Our fear of survival tends to put a lot of limitations on us making it difficult for us to reach our true potential. I really wish to move beyond my psychological limitations and work on my goal of becoming the best version of myself. Let’s do this!

Do I really procrastinate?

#54/100

“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand—and melting like a snowflake.”

– Francis Bacon

For the longest time I sincerely believed that procrastination = laziness. You have a list of tasks at hand for the day, you know it’s too important to complete them on time, you have plenty of time to strike of each task from your to-do list, yet, you choose to slack! I’ve done it with my studies, while getting ready to go out and majorly with my office work.

For the last 3 days, I have been waking up early to get a good head start on the day and complete my workout before I start my office work. I got the waking up early part right each day, however, every single day I procrastinated till the last minute and had to rush through my workouts and office work. This got me thinking, what really went wrong?

I had a super productive weekend this week. I woke up early both days and completed all my planned work. I even managed to squeeze in a 10 km run on Sunday when my mind tried it’s best to convince me against doing it. On Monday I noticed my energy levels dipping, I was gloomy and it was easier for my mind to convince me to procrastinate.

The point I’m trying to make here is that procrastination is not a state of mind or force of habit. In my case, I tend to procrastinate when I don’t like the task at hand. I’m an introvert by nature, going out to socialize with people can be a nightmare for me sometimes. I always procrastinated when I had to leave my house to attend social events. I don’t like being part of the corporate rate race. That explains my extreme procrastination when it comes to office work. I enjoy reading but studying for an exam makes me anxious and stressed. The fear of not performing well in the exams always overpowered my fear of exams itself. That’s why I always procrastinated on my studies. If I don’t study well, I can blame my lack of preparation for it and be a victim of the situation. On the other hand, I am always punctual on the days of my running events, for my trips or attending a highly anticipated event.

Not every situation in life is going to be as per our wishes. We can be depressed even after manifesting all our goals and achieving the life of our dreams. Life is how you make it. If I hate my current job, I’ll manifest more reasons to hate it. If I work hard on liking what I do, whatever it is, the universe will manifest more reasons for me to find things that I like. It may feel pretentious at first, but to manifest the life of my dreams, I need to pretend that I’m living it in the present. I absolutely couldn’t relate to this advise when I read it in self help books. How can I be happy or find reasons to be happy in a situation that I absolutely despise? Recently I hit rock bottom, I absolutely couldn’t find any reason to be happy in the present or visualize it in future. Being unable to imagine a happy future is the most painful thing one can experience. I got over it by trying to find happiness in the small stuff. As I concentrated on that, I found more reasons to be happy about.

I really need to use this technique at the work place too. I absolutely hate it at present. Starting tomorrow, I’ll try finding reasons that make me happy and fulfilled at my workplace. I’m really excited to see how this experiment turns out. Will I finally be able to be passionate about my work? Only time will tell though I’m optimistic about it!!

What happens after?

#45/100

“The true secret of happiness lies in the taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life.”

– William Morris

Don’t we all have dreams that we desperately wish to fulfill? There are few short term goals related to our job, family or general well being. Then there are long term goals that need our continued focus and dedication over a prolonged period of time. Then comes those kind of goals that we dream about everyday but never believe that it can be accomplished.

When I was a kid, due to the financial condition of my family, my only goal was to earn enough money to live a stress free life. Weight loss was also one those unbelievable goals for me. It took my entire childhood, teenage and most of my 20’s to accomplish these 2 wishes. These were my 2 most prominent dreams. But my life didn’t change one bit after I achieved these goals. My life was the same, probably riddled with more fear and stress than it ever had before. I had money now but lost my purpose behind earning it. I had lost my excess weight but somehow still criticize my body. Life doesn’t seem that rosy once our dreams are accomplished.

Achieving something or completion of an activity that is very close to our heart fills us with an irreplaceable void that’s difficult to comprehend. We are always fed the false idea of “Happy ever after” in movies and books. They always make happiness sound like a destination and never the amazing journey that it actually is. It’s always the process that counts and our present that helps us make beautiful memories. We tend to merely exist waiting for the “grand finale” or “D-day” to start enjoying our life. Why can’t we enjoy the process enough? Why isn’t being happy “today” a sought after concept? There is no “ever after” to happiness and mental peace. Our life always unfolds in the present, the future is just a vision to give us a goal for the present, the past is a reflection to understand our strengths and weakness. But the real life is NOW.

Wish someone could have told me this sooner. It took me a hell lot of time to figure out the easiest and most basic way to make happiness a priority. There might be 100 things that make you upset today, yet find that one thing that makes you happy and stick to it. It always about the small things. And give your best in whatever you do, what goes around, comes around.

Haters gonna hate

#41/100

You will face your greatest opposition when you are closest to your biggest miracle

-Shannon L. Alder

I’m sure each one of us has been hurt by criticisms, disagreements, sly remarks in our life. It hurts more when these comments come from our closest friends and acquaintances. Moreover, it completely shatters our heart when we put our heart and soul into something and it’s not appreciated by others. When I was in school, I was fat shamed by my cousins and few ‘so called’ friends. I used to look up to to them a lot and it physically hurt me when they teased me about my weight. I grew up with severe insecurity and low self esteem issues. These incidents left a deep scar and I grew up with a strong belief that I need to be thin to be appreciated. I overcompensated by becoming an insanely submissive people-pleaser. I used to say “Yes” even when my heart screamed “NO”, just because I didn’t want to be left out. Childhood is the most important period in a human’s life. The values and belief system that we grow up with becomes our reality during our adulthood and it becomes very difficult to unlearn and gain perspective from our own experiences.

Then came the changing point in my life, my weight loss journey. Two years back, in September 2018, I decided to give an all or nothing attempt to lose weight. No brownie points in guessing that I considered my weight the biggest hurdle in my life and truly believed that my life would change for the better once I lose it. I toiled hard for 3 months, put my blood (no kidding, fell down once while running), sweat and tears into losing weight. After a lot of hard work, I achieved my goal and couldn’t wait for the world to appreciate my efforts. You’d think my feelings were reciprocated well right? Well, it wasn’t. Only a handful of people recognized my efforts and complimented me, that included my cousins whose opinion I didn’t care about anymore. The larger chunk of comments were about losing “too much” weight, you looked better before, did you stop eating, why did you lose weight? so on and so forth.

I was dejected for a long time but eventually learned that I was wrong to let other people’s comments determine my worth. It took a great deal of learning to love myself bit by bit, every single thought, every single detail, to move past society’s opinions about the manner in which I should live my life. As they say, no matter how hard you try, there will be someone who doesn’t like you. You cannot please everyone. I was reminded about an amazing movie dialogue which goes like :-

“Don’t ever let someone tell you, you can’t do something. Not even me. You got a dream, you got to protect it. People can’t do something themselves, they want to tell you you can’t do it. You want something, go get it. Period.”

-Will Smith from the movie “The pursuit of Happyness”

People who can’t achieve/dream of achieving their goals project their insecurity and disbelief onto others who try hard to work on themselves. What is the point of taking criticisms from such people who don’t have your best interests in their heart? I was reborn as a completely new person after my weight loss journey. Although my initial goal was to get appreciated by the society, today I work on myself for myself. Even if you reach the pinnacle of success, there will be someone who’d try to find your faults and bring you down. Love myself, love yourself, peace!

Liebster Award

#31/100

I feel blessed and extremely happy to be nominated for the “Liebster Award” award by Anjali from https://chasingthemaximumlife.wordpress.com/. She is a beautiful soul who has been my constant support on this blogging journey. Her content is remarkable and can been seen through her sincere and genuine blog posts. Please drop by her blog and shower her with all your love and support as she is truly amazing! Thanks a million Anjali!!

Rules: 

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  2. Answer the 11 questions given to you 
  3. Nominate up to 11 other bloggers
  4. Ask your nominees 11 questions 
  5. Notify your nominees once you have uploaded your post. 

My answers to Anjali’s questions :-

  1. Where do you see your blog in a year’s time?

A year is a long time, I haven’t envisioned any specific annual goal for my blog yet though I should. I just want to be a better writer, have more clarity in my thoughts and be able to convert my thoughts to words in the best manner possible. I hope to have more than 1000 followers by then (might sound too farfetched at the moment, but a girl can dream!)

  1. If you could live anywhere on earth (and take whomever you wanted along), where would it be?

WOW! That’s a magical question. I would love to live in South Korea with my sister and mom.

  1.  Would you rather lose the ability to read or lose the ability to speak?

I cannot fathom losing the ability to read. Both are very essential senses but for the sake of this question I’ll go with losing the ability to speak.

  1. What’s that one negative thing you would get rid of so that you can have a better life?

I sometimes can get impatient with my goals. I feel like doing everything, right now. I need to go slow and break down bigger goals into smaller tasks on a daily basis so that it’s easier to accomplish.

  1. Favourite thing to do when you’re sick?

Rest and browse through the internet, maybe watch a show along the way.

  1. Would you rather be a famous director of a famous actor? And why?

This is something I’ve never thought of. If I have to choose one, I’ll go with being a famous actor. Recently I’ve been mesmerized by the acting skills of a Korean star. He absolutely loves his profession and creates magic on the screen in whatever role he portrays. It seems interesting to play different roles on screen. For a person like me who wants to try everything in life, becoming an actor sounds like an interesting opportunity.

  1. Do you trust your own memory? Why or Why not?

Absolutely. I have a pretty good memory. It has helped me a lot throughout my student life while preparing for my exams. It’s one of the things I’m proud of.

  1. Favourite guilty pleasure food?

CHOCOLATE ANYTHING.

  1. Favourite appetizer?

Any dish made of paneer. I really love “Paneer Kasturi” made by a local restaurant in my residential area.

  1. Your favourite genre? Why?

If this relates to book/show/movie then ROMCOMS all the way. It makes me go through various emotions throughout the show/movie/book. I need a good comic element along with romance in any entertainment medium to keep me hooked.

  1. What is your blog related wish for 2020? Your favourite genre?

I wish to complete my 100 day posts challenge without any hiccups. I don’t have a favourite genre when it comes to reading. I like anything that can keep me engrossed.

My nominees for the award :-

Bhanu from Surat Diaries

Manisha from A Human Just Like You

Pooja from Lifeisfinewhine

Recuperation

Anusha from blatherskite

Nawazish from The Lightening bug

My questions to the nominees :-

  1. Why did you start blogging?
  2. Who/what is the biggest inspiration behind your blog?
  3. Do you like cats or dogs more?
  4. What is the one thing you want to change about your past?
  5. What makes you angry and what do you do to calm yourself down?
  6. What is your favourite song that you are hooked to these days?
  7. If you can pick one superpower, what would it be and why?
  8. What is your favourite movie of all time?
  9. Is there a particular food that can instantly lift your spirits?
  10. What is the one adventure sport that you wish to try?
  11. What is the first country on your vacation bucket list and why?

Thank you from the bottom of my heart and gratitude always.

-Supermode

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

#16/100

This feels unreal. This is my third award nomination in 15 days and my heart is filled with gratitude for Ara from Recuperation. Awards, medal, certificates or any kind of accolades have always been my biggest source of motivation since childhood. I don’t know if I’m a good writer yet but I’m trying hard to improve my skills each day. Each one of my posts is a heartfelt attempt to pour my thoughts into words in the best possible manner. Thank you so much Recuperation. This means a lot to me.

RULES:

• Thank the person who have nominated you and provide a link back to his/her blog.

• Answer their questions.

• Nominate up to 9 other bloggers and ask them 5 new questions.

• Notify the nominees through their blog by visiting and commenting on their blog.

• List the rules and display the “Ideal Inspiration Blogger Award” logo. Provide the link of the Award creator of ideal inspiration blogger award as Rising Star from  https://idealinspiration.blog/

NOMINATION:

I was nominated by the gracious Ara from Recuperation. She manages a marvelous blog and all her posts are a reflection of her kind personality. Please do check her blog and shower her with your love and support. She deserves this and much more.

https://backtosquareones.wordpress.com/

My answers to Ara’s questions :-

1.What social stigma does society need to get over?

I don’t know if I can ever have one specific answer to this question. What really bugs me at my current phase in life is that girls in Indian households who are single and have crossed the age of 30 are subject to a lot of pressure to get married. They are made to believe that their existence is worthless (despite being successful in their respective careers) if they don’t get married. The society keeps hammering negative thoughts in their parent’s minds, every single discussion revolves around prospective grooms, the girls are told to dress in a certain manner, groom themselves better, lose weight and many such hurtful comments to crush their self esteem. The society really needs to stop meddling in other people’s lives and pass unnecessary judgement based on their orthodox views.

2.What was cool when you were young but isn’t cool now?

Probably gossiping. I know gossiping is never cool but as a kid I never realized that. I try to not indulge in it that much as I find it uncool to talk about other people’s lives without having any facts checked.

3.What’s your secret talent?

I have a fairly decent memory when it comes to remembering people’s clothes. I know it’s completely useless talent to possess but I can recollect people and incidents from the color and type of clothes that they might have worn on a particular day.

4.Which is your best all time hobby?

The two ‘R’s in my life. Reading and running. Both help keep me sane and can cheer me up in seconds.

5.When did you realize that you loved writing ?

I always loved writing as a kid. I had a troubled childhood, writing in my diary was my biggest escape from the hardships that I’ve faced in life. Writing has always helped me clear me thoughts, for a over thinker like me, that’s a huge step in the right direction.

My nominees : –

Chasing The Maximum Life

LIFESFINEWHINE BY POOJA

A Human Just Like You

My questions for the nominees :-

  1. Who/what is your biggest source of inspiration?
  2. What is your biggest fear in life?
  3. What is your superpower?
  4. What is the most proud moment of your life till date?
  5. What quality in humans do you detest the most?

I’m grateful to each and every soul who has taken time out to read and comment on my posts. Your love and support keeps me going. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Much love,

Thesupermode