Of brickbats and glasshouses

#42/100

One of my closest office colleague and the nicest human I know lost her job yesterday. And the reason behind this isn’t even remotely connected to the quality of her work. She was made a scapegoat in a situation involving office politics between few members of the senior management. Although she is financially sound, this incident has left a deep impact on her mental health. She is unable to understand what she did wrong to be treated this way. This is her first job and she has given more than 2 years of her life to this place. She has now been asked to not step foot into the office till the end of her notice period.

Sometimes, life treats us in the most unfair manner possible, or so we believe. At the moment when such situations take place, we lose all hope and everything seems to be falling apart. It becomes extremely difficult to make sense of the situation and try to workout the best solution to cope with it. I am well aware that every bad situation becomes a learning experience for the future but dealing with such situations in present causes unbearable pain with no respite. I hold a firm belief that if we are true to ourselves and our work with no malice towards anyone, the universe will be kind to us. There will be unfavorable situations in life but they could just be a way for us to learn more about ourselves, the people around and the world. The universe has a way to carefully remove all hurdles on our path to give us the life of our dreams. We just need to give our best in every situation and be patient with ourselves.

We all know very well that “What goes around, comes around“. People who willfully cause harm to others have a special place in hell. I’m sure the culprits who have caused my friend to lose her peace of mind will get a taste of their own medicine sooner than they can imagine. The universe spares no one, we humans are just a speck of dust in this wide galaxy.

Haters gonna hate

#41/100

You will face your greatest opposition when you are closest to your biggest miracle

-Shannon L. Alder

I’m sure each one of us has been hurt by criticisms, disagreements, sly remarks in our life. It hurts more when these comments come from our closest friends and acquaintances. Moreover, it completely shatters our heart when we put our heart and soul into something and it’s not appreciated by others. When I was in school, I was fat shamed by my cousins and few ‘so called’ friends. I used to look up to to them a lot and it physically hurt me when they teased me about my weight. I grew up with severe insecurity and low self esteem issues. These incidents left a deep scar and I grew up with a strong belief that I need to be thin to be appreciated. I overcompensated by becoming an insanely submissive people-pleaser. I used to say “Yes” even when my heart screamed “NO”, just because I didn’t want to be left out. Childhood is the most important period in a human’s life. The values and belief system that we grow up with becomes our reality during our adulthood and it becomes very difficult to unlearn and gain perspective from our own experiences.

Then came the changing point in my life, my weight loss journey. Two years back, in September 2018, I decided to give an all or nothing attempt to lose weight. No brownie points in guessing that I considered my weight the biggest hurdle in my life and truly believed that my life would change for the better once I lose it. I toiled hard for 3 months, put my blood (no kidding, fell down once while running), sweat and tears into losing weight. After a lot of hard work, I achieved my goal and couldn’t wait for the world to appreciate my efforts. You’d think my feelings were reciprocated well right? Well, it wasn’t. Only a handful of people recognized my efforts and complimented me, that included my cousins whose opinion I didn’t care about anymore. The larger chunk of comments were about losing “too much” weight, you looked better before, did you stop eating, why did you lose weight? so on and so forth.

I was dejected for a long time but eventually learned that I was wrong to let other people’s comments determine my worth. It took a great deal of learning to love myself bit by bit, every single thought, every single detail, to move past society’s opinions about the manner in which I should live my life. As they say, no matter how hard you try, there will be someone who doesn’t like you. You cannot please everyone. I was reminded about an amazing movie dialogue which goes like :-

“Don’t ever let someone tell you, you can’t do something. Not even me. You got a dream, you got to protect it. People can’t do something themselves, they want to tell you you can’t do it. You want something, go get it. Period.”

-Will Smith from the movie “The pursuit of Happyness”

People who can’t achieve/dream of achieving their goals project their insecurity and disbelief onto others who try hard to work on themselves. What is the point of taking criticisms from such people who don’t have your best interests in their heart? I was reborn as a completely new person after my weight loss journey. Although my initial goal was to get appreciated by the society, today I work on myself for myself. Even if you reach the pinnacle of success, there will be someone who’d try to find your faults and bring you down. Love myself, love yourself, peace!