This month went by in a breeze. I went on a vacation to Bangalore for 10 days this month and honestly had the time of my life. I wish there was a way to make my entire life as happy as I was on my vacation. It felt surreal really! I ate without any guilt, didn’t workout or meditate for most part of this trip, yet was super happy throughout. So my progress this month has been abysmal. I’m planning to make up for it in April. It’s also my birthday month. Though I have 0 excitement for my birthday, I plan to be as productive as I can this month. The motto for this month is “Small progress is still progress“. I will be consistently working on improving myself each and every day this month. One month makes a hell lot of difference. I realized that during my “Fitness Queen” practice session. Also, I am planning to blog everyday this month. I really can’t think of any other way to make this month special.
Meditated for 20/31 days. I was very disciplined right till the day I left for my vacation. I stopped everything for almost 10 days after that. It was difficult to get back on track after coming back from vacation. When I rejoined office I had to start my daily routine again to cope up with office stress.
Journaled/documented my day for 10/31 days. I’ve been terrible at this. Maybe that’s why I have limited memories of how I spent this month and don’t feel productive at all.
Practiced gratitude journaling for 10/31 days. As I said, progress has not been up to the mark.
Goals for April:- 20 min meditation everyday (maintain my streak on headspace app), practice journaling and gratitude journaling everyday.(Same as last month)
This section is for a new skill or talent that I’ve acquired in this month, tried a new activity or thing that has pushed me out of my comfort zone.
I went on a 10 day trip to Bangalore/Mysore. Although this isn’t a new skill or talent, I want to mention it as I came back a rejuvenated and changed person after this trip. My happiness grew multifold on this trip. I have been feeling unmotivated and lethargic ever since. I plan to change that in April.
Goal for April:- Cross 500 followers on my blog before my birthday on 13th April. Run 13 kms on 13th April.
I had packed my running shoes and attire with the intention to run in Bangalore. Though I am disappointed that I couldn’t make it a reality, I did get some workouts done on my trip.
4 long runs in this month. Longest distance covered : 10 kms
HIIT workouts twice a week during the weekdays (ranging from 20 to 30 mins). Managed to complete 3 workouts of 40-50 mins during my trip.
Goal for April:- Lose the vacation weight (3 kgs), skip 800 rounds at a stretch, 10 pushups in proper form
Zero progress with CFA level 1 curriculum. Took an extended break as my exams have been deferred to July 2021
Zero online courses completed in March
Goal for April:- Complete first reading of pending 2 subjects of CFA and 2 online courses (at least 1 Korean language course)
One of my close friends is going through a difficult phase in her life currently. She isn’t able to be at peace and happy with the proceedings in her life. I, including our other close friends tried to calm her down, give her solutions, tried to make her see the silver lining in her current situation. Somehow, she isn’t able to do that and it makes me helpless to the point of feeling frustrated. I’m not able to understand my behaviour.
I have gone through such difficult times too in my life. I try to keep such things to myself and get better on my own. It takes a long while but I get past the hurdles eventually. I feel helpless when my closed ones go through such situations. More so, when I’m not able to make them feel better. As a spectator, I can clearly find a solution to each of their problems. But when I go through a difficult phase, my mind blocks out any sense of relief or possible solution to make me feel better. Nothing seems practical and I’m not able to find sense in any of the solutions provided to me by anyone else. Being in misery and pain is really awful. Deep inside you know that you want to be happy but being in distress somehow feels easier than working on finding a way out. It’s always easier to quit than run the extra mile in a marathon. But the runner in me never likes to quit even if the pain gets unbearable. During one of my recent prolonged episode of anxiety and depression, happiness felt like a distant dream. I was irked with every single detail of my life and just wanted to quit everything and do nothing. After days of feeling absolutely terrible and sad, one fine day my mind reached it’s limit. It didn’t want to be the spoilsport anymore. I decided to live in the present, be grateful for whatever I have in life and find happiness in small things. These are truly my mantras for living a peaceful and happy life and they have been working wonders for me.
I’ve tried telling this to my friend but it’s very hard for her to make sense of this. I’m trying very hard to make her understand and motivate her to work on her happiness but she needs some time. Pain and sorrow are a part and parcel of our life. Life is too long and filled with uncomfortable incidents that are bound to make us jittery. The only thing that matters is the manner in which we handle them and grow stronger with each such situation. I hope my friend feels better soon. I remember when she was going through a horrible phase some years back and truly felt that was the end of her. But she got through that and I’m sure she’ll get through this too. There’s always a silver lining.
“The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.”
As an introverted and shy human being, it has always been very difficult for me to maintain relationships. I don’t recollect being socially awkward as a child but I eventually picked up that “skill” as well during my teenage years. I remember meeting my now best friend in school and having a great time with her. I never really detested school but she made it way more fun than it used to be. However, when she wanted to make me her best friend, I rejected the idea. There was a lot going around at my home at that time so I really didn’t want to open up myself to an outsider. But she didn’t budge and never left my side even when I tried to avoid her. She stuck around and realized the reason behind my distant behaviour. During those days, I was also very submissive and didn’t know how to say no when I really wanted to. I used to bottle up my resentments and ended up holding grudges against my people for a long time. Yet, some of the people who have seen me through my worst are still around.
One of my other closest friends had to bear my silences and absences for long period of time. She is the most selfless person I know and has been my constant source strength throughout all tough times in my life. I have a tendency to hide in my shell and detach myself from the world whenever I’m going through a difficult phase in my life. She always reassured me of her presence and patiently stood around me to get my act together. There were times when I had lost all hope for the future, she made me see the light ahead.
When I was younger, I always felt that I wasn’t enough for people, I wasn’t funny or witty. But somehow I managed to make some great friends back then who are my biggest strengths even now. I might have done something right to be blessed with such incredible souls in my life. The only thing I have always practiced is to be true to myself. During my teenage years I did try to adapt to what was expected from the society but quickly realized that it wasn’t my cup of tea.
Everyone has a family who loves you beyond limits. When you manage to create a second one outside the blood tie, life becomes truly remarkable. My friends add the “extra” to my ordinary life.