Given-Taken

“When two givers indulge in a connection, it’s like magic. It’s alchemy. I water you, you water me, we never drain each other, we just grow.”

-Anonymous

Day 8/30

Life would have been so much better had the world be filled with givers. However, that’s not the case in our world. Most people are takers and that’s the main point of contention in many relationships. There are many people who want everyone’s attention, they want to be the center of the Universe, they want people to care for them, guide them, notice them, help them and in return they’ll still complain that the other person is not doing enough. Can you notice the dynamics of a classic giver-taker relationship here?

Givers are self sufficient, they can handle their emotions and needs well on their own. They have expectations from takers too. But the takers are so immersed in their own life that givers learn to take care of themselves. However, takers end up being extremely dependent on givers for all of their emotional needs. The worst part is that no matter how much the giver gives, takers are never satisfied. They’ll always find faults and shortcomings in the taker’s efforts to keep them happy.

The takers are borderline selfish (some don’t even realize it), yet givers do their best to keep them happy. But it comes at a cost. Initially, givers do everything out of love and care for takers. But there comes a tipping point in every relationship (sooner or later) when the givers realize the importance of their own expectations and happiness too. And once the tipping point is breached, givers stop caring about the takers. From this point onwards, givers only try to discharge their responsibility without feeling any love or care for the takers.

If you are a giver in any relationship, make the other person understand your expectations and put yourself first. Only when your cup is full that you can help others. Do everything to make sure that your cup is overflowing with love and care for others so that you don’t burn out doing things for others without getting anything in return.

If you are a taker in any relationship, be conscious of your actions and make time to understand your givers expectations as well. A relationship succeeds only when both parties are happy and fulfilled.

The relationship in question can be anything, husband-wife, siblings, parent-children. Take efforts for people around you and they’ll always remember (sometimes give back) the gesture. Spread happiness and kindness around.

The damsel in charge

#36/100

I’m watching a lot of quality content these days. Entertainment is such a huge part of our lives. The entertainment industry is blooming because of the excessive demand for it from general public. People who star in certain amazing movies and shows are admired to the extent that they are worshiped at certain parts of the world. What is it about the entertainment industry and the imaginary world of movies and shows that draws our attention to it?

As a child I was a huge fan of fairy tales. I absolutely loved the story of “Cinderella”. And I waited for my Prince Charles every single day after that. After reading/watching many fairy tales, I was convinced that I’d end up meeting my knight in shining armor who’ll save me whenever I’m in trouble. For the longest time, I shrugged off taking responsibility of my life thinking that it will all get better once I meet my knight. I did my best at studies and work without envisioning any great goals for the future.

Most of the movies and shows that I’ve watched till date always showed a wonderful man saving the damsel in distress from any trouble and end up being her hero. Are girls that vulnerable to need a man to save them from every problematic situation? I have lived all my life subconsciously believing that I will end up meeting my knight in future who will change my life and make it better. Thus, I ended up not working on my life. I never believed that I had the ability to make it better myself.

It took a lot of hurtful experiences and unlearning to realize that change starts from within. The only person who has the ability to make my life better is my own self. If I don’t work on myself and develop the ability to find happiness in each and every situation in life, the greatest of knights wouldn’t be able to help me.

I’m thankful to have this realization early on in my life. I don’t live my life with an endless wait for someone to enter it and make it better. I am in control and work on making it a little better each day. It’s not that difficult really!