A close call

Today has been adventurous to another level. I travelled all the way to my office in the morning hoping to have a normal work day today. When I reached office, I had to go through the normal workplace protocol of showing my identity proof and the status on a government based mobile app (Aarogya Setu) which tracks the coronavirus infection of users who have downloaded the app on their phone. This app collects details of infection of everyone who uses it makes it easy to conduct contact tracing process. When I checked the status today, it showed I had a “high risk” of infection as I had come in contact with an infected person about a week back. I was surprisingly calm throughout as I had experienced no symptoms till then. I was asked to go back home and check with the helpline on the app for further process.

Once I reached home and told my parents about it, they freaked out. My parents are complete opposites of each other and their reaction to this news was also poles apart. My mother was very scared but kept it within herself and showed a brave front. My father called a friend, brought me medicines which I had no clue about and asked me 10000 questions within a span of 10 seconds. Mind you, they went through all this stress only with the news of me coming in contact with an infected person. I hadn’t even tested positive by this time. After talking to my friends and contemplating on the situation for a long time, I decided to get myself tested. I went to a diagnostic center near my house and my swabs samples were taken for the tests. Let me give a heads up here, the process of taking the nasal swab samples is extremely creepy and weird. The swab is inserted deep inside the nose and for a moment I felt that it had reached my brain!!

Then came the somewhat long wait. The antigen test results are quiet rapid and come out within a span of 15 mins. The results for the antigen test are inaccurate at times and hence I got myself swabbed for the RT-PCR test as well which is the most accurately used testing method. Within few minutes of taking my swab samples, my antigen test results were out. Fortunately it was “Negative“. The RT-PCR test results will be out tomorrow. My life changed within a span of few minutes after I came to know about the status on my Aarogya Setu app. Most of the times the stress of the actual situation is more troublesome and frustrating than the situation itself.

I’m glad I decided to take test after all and find out about my condition today itself. My initial plan was to self quarantine for a week or so before getting tested. I am extremely grateful for my meditation habit which helped me be calm in this situation. I’m really glad that I worked on making it a habit and spent 20 mins everyday on healing my mental health. It came a lot handy in today’s situation.

Fingers crossed for my RT-PCR test results tomorrow!

Seven hours

#2/100

These seven hours have had a huge impact on my life. It’s the amount of time I am forced to spend commuting to and fro from my office. Why you ask? To satisfy the egos of few humans who are most certainly dead inside and seek weird pleasure by harassing those who help them run their business. Shouldn’t they be grateful? Of course yes! Do they lack empathy? A resounding yes! What’s making them do this? Primitive way of thinking which allows them to take selfish decisions and ruin the life of people who are the reason for their existence in the first place.

Even if I somehow get used to these seven hours that have made me lose my peace of mind, how do I deal with a person I’ve lost all respect for? I was made to feel like a nobody, unappreciated for my efforts and sincerity, thrown to the pits of doom with no return. What irks me further is the complete disregard towards the unsafe situation of the world outside and mental health condition of those who are dealing with it. How do you slowly destroy a person? Ignore their existence, make them do things which will crush their purpose and shatter their soul.

Is there a point of return from the very depths of doomsville? I believe there is! It’s the ladder of hope but there’s a catch! You need to build it slowly and steadily by sowing seeds of belief, faith, love and trust. Hope for a new you, faith in the process, belief in your inner superpower, love for thyself in it’s glorious mess and trust that you can make it.

When you have been let down multiple times, it’s time to pack and snap the fragile strand that’s holding the rope together. Look at your palm, it’s grazed from holding the rope so tight. It’s time to let go.

Life is simple, we do tend to complicate it. Happiness is a much better choice but somehow difficult to embrace. How do humans find negative banter easy to conform to? Does negativity present a more realistic picture than happiness?

I completely dislike how I feel when I’m down and about. Happiness makes me strong and indestructible. Life’s reality only lies in the next second, everything else is an illusion. Negative emotions are always about the next hour, day, year or life which makes them a bag full of crap!

These seven hours have given me a perspective, led me to the true face of the devil, made me realize what doesn’t confirm to my inner personality and helped me experience emotions that have absolutely no place in my life. I choose happiness now and always. I stand up for myself and will break all chains to keep myself sane, happy and content.

I deserve to be happy, I am happy!