“Not one drop of your self-worth depends on the acceptance of others.”-Anonymous
No, this isn’t an advertisement for Loreal. Most of the times we forget or are forced by the society to destroy our self esteem to keep in line with the society’s expectations. I, like a good child always listened and believed everything that the society dumped on me. If they told me I’m fat, I worked on losing weight, if they told me my hair was frizzy and didn’t look good, I straightened it to fit the normal beauty standards, if they told me I shouldn’t wear certain clothes to talk to certain people, I restrained myself from doing it. I did everything they told, yet, the society never seems to be happy with the way I live.
I never thought it would be so hard to be an unmarried 30 year old girl in India. As I aged, I saw many old electronics and gadgets being replaced with newer, better versions. But somehow, the mentality of people has remained the same, if not, digressed over the years! Though people don’t tell me directly, I can sense the fear in my parents and relatives minds for not being married by the so called golden age of 30. Sometimes they feel that my pictures aren’t good enough, my qualification becomes an issue at times, my location is a problem many a times. There is always some or the other reason. I’m never affected by any such “so called” rejections because I have got nothing to lose here. I am very happy with the way I have lived my life, my personality, my achievements, my qualification and of course my appearance. If that doesn’t suit someone for any reason, that’s totally valid. But that doesn’t make me any less of a person.
When two people love each other and chose to spend the rest of their lives together, they get married. However, I have come to realize that people treat single people differently, especially after they have crossed the general age of 30. I don’t want to succumb under the society’s pressure and get married just for the sake of it. But why do I feel like a criminal for not doing what the society expects me to do at this age? I am not in love with anyone, nor do I have a genuine connection with someone at the present moment. Sometimes these things happen all of a sudden, the other times it can take up to an eternity. I don’t want to live my life, feeling like an outcast, counting my days till I get married just to feel like a normal human again. I really don’t know if I’ll be able to do this though. Like always, I’ll try my best to not allow such things to affect me, however, they do hurt me at times more than I can imagine. I am a human after all, any threat to my existence is physically and mentally exhausting!
To all the people who might feel the way I do at the moment, just remember,
- YOU ARE ENOUGH
- YOU DESERVE THE BEST
- YOU ARE WORTH IT