L.O.N.E.R.

I’ve always been a shy, introverted kid. I never really wanted to have a big group of bff’s to share my life with. I’ve always loved my own personal space. Being on my own, with my thoughts used to be my favourite passtime. I could never really grow out of it.

However, as years passed by, I’ve turned into this person who needs soemeone around. I constantly check my messages to find something interesting. I keep flipping my phone to come accross something that can kill my boredom. I watch movies and series as much as I can. I try to spend time with my younger sister as much as possible. But, if there is any change in this routine (like yesterday when my sister was busy with something and needed the laptop), I almost died of inactivity.

Of late I’ve been feeling a lack of enthusiasm, lack of purpose in my life. I really have no clue why I have this feeling. But, it’s something I cannot hide away from.

Ironically, I hate getting up in the mornings, being a morning person! I thought deeply about this today and realised I do not seem to look forward to the mornings anymore. In fact, there is nothing to be excited about anyday as a matter of fact. I do not have any long term or short term goals. My future seems hazy! And no, I’m not sad or depressed!

I just lack focus! I’m unenthusiatic and unmotivated! I’ve recently joined a workplace where everyone seems super energetic and motivated and it has had an adverse effect on me. Instead of being inspired by them, I’ve started questioning my own life’s decisions!

While in school, I had my studies to look forward to, I wanted to top the class.

Come college, I wanted to do well in my 12th boards!

Degree college bought with it my identity, Charetered Accountancy course which I wanted to excel in!

Now, everything is done and dusted! I am a C.A., have a stable job, my regular set of friends who are quiet busy with their lives! There is nothing exciting about my life anymore!

I want to feel alive again! But I’m completely clueless about how to go about it.

There is one thing I’ve been delaying for a very long time. I’ll wake up early and go on a run tomorrow onwards! Let’s see how that turns out!

I really want to fall in love with my life! I’ll try to make an honest effort to achieve just that!

Wish me luck!

Getting out of my comfort zone

It was my first day at my new job today. This place is everything I wanted my dream job to be like. Extremely knowledgeable people, great office environment, fixed timings, great brand, yet, I feel weird.

There is this intense feeling of discomfort that is plaguing my mind. I just can’t come to terms with the fact that opportunities lie outside the comfort zone. In my previous organisation, I knew everything and everyone, everything and everyone knew me. I didn’t like the people there nor the office timings, yet, I want to go back and hide myself there.

What is wrong? Why do I feel so uncomfortable at a place that feels so right! Well, that’s the cost to pay when you venture out of your comfort zone. The comfort zone is a place which protects you from any kind of fear. New places brings with it unknown situations, uncomfortable meetings, it tests your knowledge and your ability to deal with new surroundings. All this ain’t pretty. Especially, for an introvert like me. Introverts like to conserve as much energy as possible. They lose energy and hope as soon as they have to encounter a new situation.

It’s time to be more positive and embrace my reality. Living my life one day at a time might help. I either live in the past or find myself dreaming about the future. Present is never an option for me.

Embracing every moment of the present situation will help me recuperate and that’s what I am going to do. It was my decision to move out of the situation I was in and upgrade my life. Now, I need to be more mature and responsible about my decisions. Happiness is a continuous process. You cannot wait for it to find it’s way to you. Happiness sometimes requires effort. Your mind needs to free and clutter free in order to create a nurturing house for it to stay in for a long time.

While I go back to my reality, I urge you all to give the uncomfortable situation you are currently facing, another chance. Just remember, this feeling too shall pass. It is just an illusion created by your mind to protect you from prospective fearful situations. And believe me, you are stronger than that! So, fight the FEAR.!

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Know when to let go..!!

I am a person who dwells on the past. It is not a bad thing to revisit your memories, however it becomes a problem when your past affects the present. There are a million thoughts that race through your mind throughout the day. My thoughts range from regrets about the past to imagining situations about how I would have reacted in the same situation differently. One of my favourite hobbies is also thinking about a parallel universe where each one of my impossible thoughts come true. These kind of thoughts generate negativity about the present and also the future. You would find me staring at blank walls most of the time immersed in my own thoughts.

I’ve also seen people dragging a dead relationship. We meet a lot of people in our life, some we connect with mutually, some we don’t. The third and most painful situation is when one person wants to connect with someone who is least bothered. People who overthink tend to convince themselves to keep on trying. The phrase “If at once we don’t succeed, try, try and try again!” is drilled in our minds throughout school. We keep on trying and lose our dignity and self respect in the process.

It is very important to know when to stop.

When your thoughts over power your present as well as cast a shadow on your future, you need to stop.

Everyone has a lot of dreams and goals in our life. The situations I mentioned above create pitfalls in your journey to achieve these goals. We admire people who are extremely focussed in their life and keep on climbing the ladder of success. What we forget is the fact that each one of us possess infinite amount of ability to reach the pinnacle of success. People who end up succeeding in life are ones who have mastered the art of using thoughts to their advantage. There will be situations in life that side track you from your goals. In such scenarios, you need to keep your inner belief system strong. Always remember the below 3 points before making any irrational decision :-

  • Be the master of your life, not the victim – “Live life as per your terms”
  • Keep your dignity and self esteem in check – “Someone else cannot define you”
  • You can achieve everything you set your mind to – “Nothing is impossible”

Be the person you wish to be “NOW”, there is never a better time. Always stay in the present and witness wonderful events unfold in your life.

If you are caught up in the web of self pity and despise, please go through the above 3 points again. The points though basic, can have a huge impact on you if you choose to believe in it.

All the best!!

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Thoughts to action!

How many times has it happened that you’ve been sitting on an idea or thought for a long time and never managed to accomplish it? Countless? Innumerous? I’ve done the same thing too. I’ve always had a huge “things to do” list on my mind which I’ve never managed to strike off within the estimated timeline. So, what goes wrong?

Well, there are two types of people in this world, namely :

  • Thinkers : As the name suggests, the thinkers are part of “day-dreaming” universe. They plan elaborate stuff with vivid details. All their thoughts are incredibly exhaustive with a timeline attached to it. Thinkers love to plan and spend a lot of time in designing the nitty gritty. However, they miss out the most important aspect of their plans – “Action”. Thinkers get so exhausted with planning the details that they are left with no motivation to convert their plans into action. Thinkers always find a lot of road blocks in their journey which stalls their progress.
  • Doers : These are the kind of people who have a string of accomplishments attached to their name. They always manage to kill procrastination and get a lot of stuff done within the same 24 hrs day. Doers come across as extremely focused and passionate individuals who can go to any lengths to achieve their goals. It feels like they have their entire life sorted. Doers manage to find quick solutions to any obstacles that may cross the path to their goals.

So what is it that special quality possessed by Doers that helps them get an edge over Thinkers? Why do Thinkers lag far behind Doers in accomplishing their dreams?

It’s the magic element called “Action
Both Thinkers and Doers are equally capable of completing the same task at hand, however Doers repeatedly emphasise on “actioning” their thoughts which provides them the edge in this race. Thinkers place the bets on their incredible planning skills and derive the same gratification level as if they have accomplished the task. Doers earn their sense of gratification after completing the task at hand.

I’m part of the “Thinkers” club slowly crawling my way to “Doers” universe by using a simple technique which helps me focus on the present task. Usually, I have a thought and within few seconds my brain starts churning up negative situations that deviate me from my initial thought and creates a roadblock. The longer I take to listen to my initial thought, higher is the number of obstacles I face in conquering it. Thus, I end up spending more time in the comfort zone which is the land of no return.

So the technique I use here is to follow the first thought I have. For example; you want to get up at 6 am in the morning, your alarm clock rings at 6 am – first thought “wake up”, within seconds your brain starts throwing overpowering notions such as “sleep for 5 more minutes”, “you slept late last night”, “you can wake up early tomorrow”. Thus, you end up following the massive outburst of negative thoughts and hit the snooze button. TASK UNACCOMPLISHED.

You need to follow the first thought i.e. “wake up” in the above scenario and act on it before your brains throws the negative influx of thoughts at you.

Try engraining this little change in your day to day tasks and notice the difference. This will help you to keep on increasing the number of accomplished tasks in your to-do list.

Welcome to the “Doers” club!

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Why do I procrastinate?

Oh well! Not again!!

I know there are thousands of articles on the internet and a million books written to tackle the massive issue of “Procrastination!” However, even after reading and learning about them in depth, I still haven’t been able to wad off procrastination completely! WHY?

We all know that procrastination brings with itself unwanted anxiety and negativity. Somehow, I’ve become too comfortable with it. Every single day I wake up with the single most thought of completing my work and leave office ON TIME. However, even on lean days I find myself working till the last moment and reach home late…YET AGAIN! What the hell is wrong with me?

Another example that comes to my mind is preparing for any big interview or work assignment. I’ll try to get as much time possible to prepare well and end up wasting (with enormous guilt!) all the time I have on hand. I find myself preparing and working at the last moment as usual and blow up the big opportunity.

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So, why do I keep on repeating the same mistakes again? Am I too dumb to understand what’s going wrong and not able to apply corrective measures? Or am I happy with the way things are and don’t want to change anything?

The answer is NONE OF THE ABOVE!

Well, while dealing with procrastination, the biggest mistake everyone makes is to connect it with laziness. I agree, there are people who do not get things done because they are too lazy to work straight away. However, there are few people who genuinely crave to get rid of procrastination and are still unable to do so. Here’s a little glimpse of their thought process in advance of a new assignment :-

  • STAGE 1 : THE BEGINNING – A new assignment!! A clean slate for me to work on. Let me gather all the neccessary tools to conquer this! I’m going to slay this!
  • STAGE 2 : ERROR ALERT – You make a little unimportant mistake somewhere and your mind starts churning “ALERT” messages. You try to ignore them and keep working.
  • STAGE 3 : ENTER “FEAR” –  The big “F”. The biggest villain in anyone’s life. The reason why people quit things midway and are happy in the comfort zone. It makes people believe “IT’S BETTER NOT TO TRY THAN TO END UP FAILING”
  • STAGE 4 : I QUIT –  The well known result of extreme procrastinators. Quit everything you do midway, do it at the last moment as it gives you a solid support in case you fail. You can always end up blaming your “procrastination” for the failure instead of embracing it.

That’s it. You do not want to accept “FAILURE” and stick to procrastination as it saves you the trouble of believing that you’ve failed because of  your incompetancy. You want to live in a bubble where failure doesn’t exist. Even if you fail, it’s because of “procrastination” and NOT because of YOU! You can always hear procrastinators say “If only I did not procrastinate, I would have succeeded!” That’s their defence mechanism churning nonsensical excuses to help them deal with reality.

So, how do you get over this?

ACCEPTANCE & REHEARSAL

ACCEPTANCE – You need to accept the fact that failure is a part and parcel of life. You can try your best for all the assignments you work for and still end up failing it. That doesn’t mean you are not doing well. Each mistake is a learning opportunity. Try not to repeat the same mistake again instead of avoiding it completely. Committing a mistake provides you an opportunity  and experience to correct it the next time. Avoiding it keeps the ground wide open to commit it again. So, it’s always important to try!

REHEARSAL – Instead of blowing up the big chance that comes your way, why don’t rehearse for it? Try working a little each day to prepare yourself for the big event. Anticipate the future course of action and start preparing for it. You always have a faint idea of the opportunities that could come your way in alignment with your goals in life. Utilise each day to prepare for it so that your fear is weakened on the D-day. Fuel your strengths not your fears!

Hopefully this summarises the thought process of procrastinators and provides valuable insights to deal with it in a better manner.

More power to the procrastinators!!

Ciao!

 

 

 

When the going gets tough…

Have you ever felt extreme hatred, negativity, dislike, distraught for a situation you are stuck in and can go to any lengths to get yourself out of it? Every single day you try your level best to stay positive and hope against hope to cling to that one good thought which brings you happiness and glimmer for the future. You turn on social media and are bombarded with your friend’s/colleague’s/acquaintance’s success stories, milestones and life changing events. You are happy for them as it strengthens your belief in dreams coming true although you cannot help but question the Universe; “When is my turn?”

I’ve read a lot of posts which says “Life is not in the past or future, it’s NOW!” If you feel unhappy in a situation it’s a massive sign yelling at you to get out of that condition A.S.A.P. However, the timeframe between realising that you are in an unwanted situation and getting out of it cannot be fixed to suit your needs. When you are in that limbo, you have to deal with a lot of stress, discomfort and our best enemy “Negativity!” You cannot just snap out of that limbo, it takes every last bit of your strength to deal with it. Yes, the end will be beautiful and worth all the pain you sustained, however, to reach there you need to stay put and have firm belief in your dreams and most importantly ‘yourself’!

Every single day begins with a positive thought to float through your entire life and then “life happens!”. The day throws innumerable problems, painful situations, puzzles, issues and what not! One by one you try to solve every thing that comes your way with the single most important belief in your mind, “It’s not going to last forever!”. You wish to go back to the days when you were carefree and didn’t know the meaning of “responsibility!”. Why is every situation dealt in a burdensome manner? Why has it become so difficult to stay happy? Why is happiness a thing you chase rather than a destination? What is it that I can do to get out of this limbo soon?

As I don’t know the timeframe of my limbo, I try to find various ways to help me deal with it and stay positive throughout. I’ve been reading Dr. Susan Jeffers “Feel the fear and do it anyway” which by far has been most effective in helping me stay afloat. The best takeaway from this book has been the simple affirmation “I’ll handle it”. Think about it! You always feel anxious, unhappy, upset, dejected when you believe that you are in a situation which you are unable to handle. It’s the fear of non-performance that scares you and not the outcome. If you trick yourself into believing that you CAN handle everything that comes your way, you get instantly energised and can see a way ahead even if it’s foggy. It’s all about perspective and not the problem that you are dealing with. Another great read has been “Who moved my cheese?” by Spencer Johnson. This one is a light read with great message. A question in this book made me question my entire decision making process, “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?” Isn’t it a question to dwell on?

As of now, I’ll continue to fight hard, against all the brick backs that life throws at me! I know it’s difficult to sustain but the end is very beautiful and I can feel it. Whatever the situation is, I’ll handle it! I’m eternally grateful to all the positivity out there that strengthens my dreams. Waiting to cross this bridge and jump into the limbo-free zone soon.!

“When the going get’s tough, the tough get going….!!!

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Ciao!