A 180 degree change

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”

-Wayne Dyer

Day 10/30

I was lying on the couch today, completely bored out of my wits and for the first time in my life, dreading my birthday that’s going to arrive in 3 days. At the exact moment, my best friend called and told me that the Amazon delivery guy needs to understand the directions to my home and he was also on the line. I realized that she planned a surprise gift for me and I jumped in excitement. Finally, SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO.

The package was delivered and I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw what it contained. It was a pair of mint green shoes that was on my wish list for a very long time!! I recollected having discussed it with her many months ago and I couldn’t believe that she remembered.

I feel so blessed to have friends in my life, who care about me, listen to everything I say and truly wish for my happiness. My day changed from a boring one to one filled with happiness and excitement in a split second.

Why am I dreading my birthday this year? Let me give a disclaimer here, it’s only this year that I’m not excited for my birthday. I usually count the days to my birthday and plan something special to make it memorable. This year though, I feel very unsettled. I don’t know what the future holds. My life isn’t moving forward according to the conventional timelines of the society. I’m dreading any calls know with the fear of being asked the same questions I don’t have an answer to. I have started to avoid some of my close friend’s calls too because I don’t have anything new or interesting to share about my life anymore. I know everyone around me who is asking these questions about my future might be asking it out of concern. But it has instilled a deep fear in me, fear of never crossing those milestones in my life. I am truly scared.

I don’t know what to do to get out of this situation in life. I desperately wish for my life to take a 180 degree change. I want the society to stop asking me these questions. I want to be in control of my life again. I want to feel settled.

16 thoughts on “A 180 degree change

  1. It’s happens, we can’t change the mentality of others, I’m really sorry to say that it’s difficult to stop it rather try to settle your mind, you can control your mind none can do it, ONLY YOU.Never allow anyone to control your thoughts so just relax and think.Everything will be alright..

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Athira is right, you are the one who can change, u know, reality changes with perspective, I have this image of you, a cool, independent and a fit women, but on the other side you imagine yourself may be different so, change that, you are great. Don’t know how but things do change when you are least expecting them or caring about them. They surely do, πŸ˜‡πŸ˜‡β˜ΊοΈβ˜ΊοΈπŸΈ frog for a change, πŸ˜„πŸ˜„

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks a lot. Thanks for sharing the image that you have of me, it motivates me to not lose hope. That’s the image I had of myself when I was a kid as a vision for my future. I achieved it however my negative self talk over powers my mind at times. I need to change that. I’ll try my best now onwards, thanks a lot.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I have felt like this at several segments of my life. Nowadays, whenever any of these thoughts enter my mind, I ask myself what’s the worst that can happen and it’s probability of occurrence. Once you start questioning yourself, you will feel lighter. Do maintain a personal journal, it helps immensely to know how different you are, compared to your past self

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you so much for your comment. I used to maintain a daily journal and it did help in developing a more grateful and positive outlook towards my life. I haven’t been consistent at it for over a month now and that has clearly affected my energy levels and increased negativity in my life. I’ll get back to it starting tomorrow.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh, I can hear the discouragement in your words! I am sorry you’re feeling this way. If I could leave a message of hope it would be this: God has a plan for your life. It may not look the same as His plans for others, so try not to hold yourself to someone else’s standard. If you are wishing your life looked differently because of pressure other people are putting on you, remember that you are unique and specially designed for a purpose. If you truly want your life to be different, in your own heart, then pray about it and pursue the changes you want to make. In the meantime, something that helps me is to remember that contentment is not getting what I want, but wanting what I have. <3. Blessings to you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for reading my post and especially for this amazing comment. I really needed to read this. ‘Contentment is not getting what I want, but wanting what I have.’ There’s lot of strength and power in these words. They make me feel much better and hopeful about the future. I’ll definitely follow your advice about making a change in my life. Thanks a million!

      Liked by 1 person

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