Given-Taken

“When two givers indulge in a connection, it’s like magic. It’s alchemy. I water you, you water me, we never drain each other, we just grow.”

-Anonymous

Day 8/30

Life would have been so much better had the world be filled with givers. However, that’s not the case in our world. Most people are takers and that’s the main point of contention in many relationships. There are many people who want everyone’s attention, they want to be the center of the Universe, they want people to care for them, guide them, notice them, help them and in return they’ll still complain that the other person is not doing enough. Can you notice the dynamics of a classic giver-taker relationship here?

Givers are self sufficient, they can handle their emotions and needs well on their own. They have expectations from takers too. But the takers are so immersed in their own life that givers learn to take care of themselves. However, takers end up being extremely dependent on givers for all of their emotional needs. The worst part is that no matter how much the giver gives, takers are never satisfied. They’ll always find faults and shortcomings in the taker’s efforts to keep them happy.

The takers are borderline selfish (some don’t even realize it), yet givers do their best to keep them happy. But it comes at a cost. Initially, givers do everything out of love and care for takers. But there comes a tipping point in every relationship (sooner or later) when the givers realize the importance of their own expectations and happiness too. And once the tipping point is breached, givers stop caring about the takers. From this point onwards, givers only try to discharge their responsibility without feeling any love or care for the takers.

If you are a giver in any relationship, make the other person understand your expectations and put yourself first. Only when your cup is full that you can help others. Do everything to make sure that your cup is overflowing with love and care for others so that you don’t burn out doing things for others without getting anything in return.

If you are a taker in any relationship, be conscious of your actions and make time to understand your givers expectations as well. A relationship succeeds only when both parties are happy and fulfilled.

The relationship in question can be anything, husband-wife, siblings, parent-children. Take efforts for people around you and they’ll always remember (sometimes give back) the gesture. Spread happiness and kindness around.

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