Being selfless towards the selfish

“Man is not, by nature, deserving of all that he wants. When we think that we are automatically entitled to something, that is when we start walking all over others to get it.

Criss Jami

Joey once said in an episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S., “There is no such thing as a selfless good deed“. But what about certain things/acts that doesn’t make you happy yet you are obliged to do so. Being selfless is one of the biggest virtues of humankind. To keep other’s wishes/happiness before your own can be difficult and extremely exhausting, especially when you don’t want to do it. What’s the way out in such situations? I have absolutely no clue as I am struggling to find it myself.

As a child, I am aware my responsibilities towards my parents. However, when most of your childhood memories consists of irresponsible behavior, disruptive daily life, lack of communication, unapproachable attitude, you tend to drift away from the source of this negativity. You do not want to associate yourself with such a person who has caused you a lot of pain and trauma while growing up. All you now seek is peace of mind and the right to be heard, be it your opinions or choices. However, some people can be extremely overbearing with their demands. They force their inabilities onto others without thinking of how it would make the other person feel. The other person might literally be having a mental breakdown but in order to do the task, they will be reminded about their moral obligations and that does the trick.

Since there is no way out, you discharge your moral responsibilities, time and again. But what’s in it for you? It doesn’t make you happy at all, on the other hand, it’s a constant source of stress and frustration for you. So that’s ruled out. You accumulate good karma and will be rewarded by the Universe in the near future. These things sound very hopeful but in the present moment, all you can think about is a way to end this misery.

So contradictory to Joey’s popular statement, selfless good deeds absolutely exist and it makes the doer feel horrible. I don’t wish for anything else, I only want peace and happiness in my life. Since there is no concrete solution to this issue and trying to put some sense to the source of this frustration is pointless, it is better to accept our fate and discharge our responsibilities with utmost sincerity. Resisting it, fighting it and avoiding it has been unsuccessful every single time. It’s time to leave our worries to the Universe and only concentrate on things that make us happy.

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