Haters gonna hate


You will face your greatest opposition when you are closest to your biggest miracle

-Shannon L. Alder

I’m sure each one of us has been hurt by criticisms, disagreements, sly remarks in our life. It hurts more when these comments come from our closest friends and acquaintances. Moreover, it completely shatters our heart when we put our heart and soul into something and it’s not appreciated by others. When I was in school, I was fat shamed by my cousins and few ‘so called’ friends. I used to look up to to them a lot and it physically hurt me when they teased me about my weight. I grew up with severe insecurity and low self esteem issues. These incidents left a deep scar and I grew up with a strong belief that I need to be thin to be appreciated. I overcompensated by becoming an insanely submissive people-pleaser. I used to say “Yes” even when my heart screamed “NO”, just because I didn’t want to be left out. Childhood is the most important period in a human’s life. The values and belief system that we grow up with becomes our reality during our adulthood and it becomes very difficult to unlearn and gain perspective from our own experiences.

Then came the changing point in my life, my weight loss journey. Two years back, in September 2018, I decided to give an all or nothing attempt to lose weight. No brownie points in guessing that I considered my weight the biggest hurdle in my life and truly believed that my life would change for the better once I lose it. I toiled hard for 3 months, put my blood (no kidding, fell down once while running), sweat and tears into losing weight. After a lot of hard work, I achieved my goal and couldn’t wait for the world to appreciate my efforts. You’d think my feelings were reciprocated well right? Well, it wasn’t. Only a handful of people recognized my efforts and complimented me, that included my cousins whose opinion I didn’t care about anymore. The larger chunk of comments were about losing “too much” weight, you looked better before, did you stop eating, why did you lose weight? so on and so forth.

I was dejected for a long time but eventually learned that I was wrong to let other people’s comments determine my worth. It took a great deal of learning to love myself bit by bit, every single thought, every single detail, to move past society’s opinions about the manner in which I should live my life. As they say, no matter how hard you try, there will be someone who doesn’t like you. You cannot please everyone. I was reminded about an amazing movie dialogue which goes like :-

“Don’t ever let someone tell you, you can’t do something. Not even me. You got a dream, you got to protect it. People can’t do something themselves, they want to tell you you can’t do it. You want something, go get it. Period.”

-Will Smith from the movie “The pursuit of Happyness”

People who can’t achieve/dream of achieving their goals project their insecurity and disbelief onto others who try hard to work on themselves. What is the point of taking criticisms from such people who don’t have your best interests in their heart? I was reborn as a completely new person after my weight loss journey. Although my initial goal was to get appreciated by the society, today I work on myself for myself. Even if you reach the pinnacle of success, there will be someone who’d try to find your faults and bring you down. Love myself, love yourself, peace!

12 thoughts on “Haters gonna hate

  1. You should never try to please anyone in anything that you do. As you found out with your weight loss efforts hardly anyone appreciated what you had achieved. You never said if you felt better about yourself after losing weight, I know I didn’t, which is why I have put the weight back on because the only way I was going to keep it off was by starving myself which I don’t want to do with this weird virus ruining everyone’s lives.
    The main thing though about pleasing yourself is that your biggest critic is you, if you can satisfy yourself to the point where you’re happy in your skin then who cares what the haters think? Will they still hate if you ignore them? Yes they will, but it will not be about you any more as they will move onto another target. Stay strong, stay focused and don’t lose sight of yourself because of the words of others who don’t care what you do, just as long as they are getting your attention.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for taking time out to share your experience here. My weight loss journey has completely changed me as a person. Although my initial intention was to be appreciated by the society, my viewpoints changed in the midst of the journey and helped shape me into the person I am today. I never starved myself to lose weight, I resorted to eating healthy food and exercise. I have been able to maintain my weight for more than a year now as I picked up a lot of lessons from my journey. Even today I workout to get stronger, run more to build endurance and eat healthy food to feel good about myself. As far as pleasing the society is concerned, I share the same sentiment. Never again will I allow other people’s opinion to change the way I feel about myself!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Peace ! 🙂

    Well said. And the experiences however they have been shaped you for who you are today.

    A firm charming young lady with so much energy and firm beliefs. Life will keep throwing new challenges and our task is to go on with each one by one. In between there will be naysayers and if we are too focused and engrossed in our task, we won’t be able to get distracted by the naysayers. A lot of people suck out the energy from us and it’s important at some point to know and follow – that your life is yours and you are complete freedom to navigate it in your own way. 🙂

    So cheers to your spirit and liberation.
    Spread your wings and fly.
    You have been a caterpillar and now is your time to be a butterfly !

    The world awaits you

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, it’s time to come out of my cocoon and experience life in it’s entirety. We learn a little more about ourselves with each passing day if we manage to pay attention. I’m trying my level best to do just that and grow into a better and happier version of me.


  3. This post is so relatable! I used to be chubby as a kid and people for some reason felt the need to constantly point that out. After going vegan and changing my diet and exercising more I have lost some weight- not on purpose really since I was getting healthier for my mental health not to lose weight- and people keep commenting on it and I have had a few people tell me not to lose anymore weight as I will get “too skinny” or not gain the weight again and become “fat again” 🤦‍♀️

    Liked by 1 person

    • Glad you could relate to it however I’m unhappy with the people who made you question the way you felt about yourself. The world is a crazy place to be with people with all kinds of opinions. Life is all about understanding things that feed our soul and make us happy and striving hard to stick with such things. I’m happy that you are at peace with yourself and in a much better position in life now.


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