Rest it out

The best cure for the body is a quiet mind.

-Napoleon Bonaparte

#23/100

There are days when I’m unable to sleep at night because of the nagging feeling of being unproductive throughout the day. Then there are days like today where I’m completely fine with not moving out of my bed at all. Humans are conditioned by the society to be productive. Wherever you go, we are told to work hard and utilize our time well. But is that all we are supposed to do during our lifetime? After a hectic workweek, I prefer a quiet weekend without any chores to attend to. But as the weekend ends, I feel sad about not utilizing my time optimally. Can our mind be ever happy with what we do?

I had to travel almost 8 hrs a day for 2 days this week for my office commute. Although I had planned to complete few chores during the weekend, my body wouldn’t listen to my mind. All my body wanted to do was rest it out. My mind could have pushed my body to do something productive, I decided to listen to my body this time. It’s completely fine to take an off day or more if you need it. I used to punish myself earlier for lazying around and wasting my time. I had almost convinced myself that I’m a chronic procrastinator. It took me a long time to realize that it was my anxiety that caused me to delay tasks and not procrastination. My anxiety has always managed to get the better of me before any huge event, be it an exam, an interview or any other place that required my complete efforts and attention. I have an “all or none” mindset unfortunately. No matter how hard I try, I always feel unprepared and low on confidence.

Now that I’m trying to understand my mind and emotions better each day, I treat myself better. When we look at other people who are hard on themselves, we realize how grossly wrong and unfair it is to behave in that manner. However, when it comes to our own selves, we can be the toughest task masters the world has ever seen. I’m trying to love myself more each day, be gentle towards my thoughts and listen to myself better. There is no fun in burning ourselves out to the point of no return. Rest it out if you need time, do nothing, eat whatever you want, just try to keep yourself sane. You are your biggest comfort after all.

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