Free as a bird

#13/100

The other day while having a general conversation with one of my closest friends about my work life, she asked me a basic question that put me into a deep thought. I told her I wasn’t enjoying my work at the moment and am very confused about what I want to do in life. She asked me to tell her about any activity apart from work that I really enjoyed to do. I do have such activities like running or writing but I couldn’t envision a career in them at the moment. I really enjoy them as my hobbies, without a specific rule book attached to it.

She told me then that I like to travel and explore. I like to be ‘free as a bird‘. The realization made by this simple sentence hit me hard. Tears welled up in my eyes, my eyes went moist right now while typing the sentence. This is exactly what I want to be. I want to be free from any expectations to act or behave in a certain manner, dependency to continue something that my mind doesn’t enjoy doing, low tolerance to mistakes and failures, the need to beat the competition and not better my own self. My mind and personality aren’t made for cut throat competition. I like to be free willed, set targets for my own personal development and achieve them, only gain motivation from my peers and not be forced to be better than them on paper to gain a promotion. After working in a corporate job for 8 years, I feel more alienated from the crowd than be a part of it. I feel like running far away and never return back.

I have some responsibilities at home at the moment which need my support and attention. Until then, I need to convince my brain to help me out and make me happy doing what I am supposed to do. Alas, our brain doesn’t act that way. If our brain wholeheartedly rejects something, it takes a long time to even understand that something’s wrong. I’m watching a very insightful video currently on the “Neuroscience of depression”. It’s such a brilliant video which explains everything that goes wrong in our brain when we experience depression. The worst part of it is that nothing is under our control. However, as with everything in life, there is a silver lining here as well. Depression is treatable. You can have a lot more understanding of your thoughts if you try to understand how your brain works.

As far as I am concerned, I’m really trying to live each day as it comes. I try to find happiness in small things like watching my favorite videos or eating good food. I’m also regularly practicing meditation which is like a deep relaxation for my mind. I instantly feel refreshed after a 20 min meditation session.

I do secretly pray to be “free as a bird” sooner than I can imagine. 🙂

9 thoughts on “Free as a bird

  1. We are like the birds trapped in cages of expectations and competition. It’s sad how we are taught right from our early childhood that life is a race and only who stands in the top positions survives. But to go beyond the expections and building a life filled with fulfillment of *our* dreams is a life worth living. Great read ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • You are so right. Our education system as well the society as a whole tries to judge everyone by the same yardstick. It’s like asking a cheetah and a tortoise to compete in a race and make the tortoise feel ashamed for losing it. Once people start to understand their own personality and likes and dislikes more, these superficial limitations placed by the society doesn’t matter. Thanks for taking time out to read and appreciate my post. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for your wishes. I felt so relieved after this revelation made by my friend. It has helped me understand myself better and lit a pathway for me in the right direction.

      Like

    • For the longest time, I desperately wanted to move to a new country and start afresh but lacked the means to do it. I’m so glad to have found someone who can relate to what I feel. At the present moment, I’m spending time to understand myself better and hope to break free from this trap soon.

      Liked by 1 person

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